[BNLsMOM]

Right now, I collect disability. I am not totally sure if I can work, even part time, but when I am home during these rainy days, I feel like I am so bored.

I can't seem to get out of bed in the morning if I don't have a designated place to be or task to do. What if I worked mornings? I would have to get out of bed.

On the other hand, what if I am unable to get out of bed and get to the job?

I kind of want to start my real estate business again ao that I have something to do, but I am afraid. I am not yet stable and I am afraid of the stress. At the same time, I feel like all this down time is just as bad for me.

It has been OK over the summer because I could go to my parents' house and take the kids swimming, but for the past few dsya the weather has been cold and rainy, my oldest is at camp and my youngest has been taking an afternoon nap. This is a taste of what winter might be like and I am so BORED.

Ugh. I don't know what to do. I don't want to get into trouble, but it would be so easy to start up again. All I have to do is renew my license and tell my mentor (who knows about my illness) that I am ready to work again, and I am in.

Any advice? Any going back to work after disability stories? I want to figure this out.

[ellyb]

Do it, go back to work - part time only! Forcing yourself out of bed and to something worthwhile you love may be a very good thing.

[thinker22]

I might start out with a volunteer job so that there's no pressure if you find that you're not yet ready to be out in the work force. If you do well at that, then you can transition into a part time pay job. Me, I work a day to a day and a half a week. It's good for me to get out of the house, but it totally stresses me out and drains me, so I need the rest of the week to recover. Sometimes I do get bored, but really, if I can focus, there's so much I can be doing here to improve my life, like reading self-help books, taking piano lessons, writing creatively, painting, sculpting, etc. I get too anxious some days to do any of those things, but there's always PC where you can get immediate support for your anxiety, depression, etc. In other words, you are bored, but tackling a job might not be the right solution just yet. See if you can make deals with yourself and follow through with them first. Like, "I will get out of bed at 9 am and go and do..." whatever. If you can't get out of bed for a planned activity from the night before, maybe you won't be able to get up for a job. Just a thought for how to build up to passing a more demanding test. You know yourself best though, so if any of my advice doesn't suit you, forget about it.

If boredom is the issue, why not do some civic, volunteer work for a bit and see how that goes. That would get you out and about and give you a place to be and things to do while you test out how stable you think you will be.

[Anneinside]

I have been on disability for about 3 years I think. I have been on disability two other times. The first time after 2 years and I was quite stable and did okay for about 7 years with short episodes of depression and hypomania. When my depression got out of control after that with many hospitalizations, I went on disability for about 1 1/2 semesters (I was a professor). I returned to work part time for a semester but the work I did was not in any way what I normally did. When I returned to working full time, everything crashed down on me. Also, the university I worked at broke every accommodation I was supposed to have (3 of them). I lasted about 3 or 4 weeks before I had to return to disability. I haven't been back since and was required to resign because I had to apply for tenure as my time was up and my chair said they wouldn't approve tenure. It is better to quit than be denied tenure. Now it is moot as I don't think I will ever be able to return to college teaching.

I do volunteer twice a week but the smallest stressor there sends me reeling.

[sugahorse1]

I'll second the volunteering work. It'll keep you busy and the actions will be very rewarding and give you purpose.
If you want to start really working, you need to increase the work load slowly. Not sure how many employers are truely understanding in this field!

If you started your real estate business, it can fit around your moods and energy levels to a large extent.

[BlackPup]

work (paid or voluntary) is really good for your self worth in addition to keeping you moving it would be great to do something if you feel that you are ready.
like thinker says, you know yourself best, so do what works for you. Please remember to be kind to yourself, there will be stressful times and with BP its like trying to swim with your arms tied! all the best for your new adventure - whatever you decide