[polyonamous]

originally diagnosed by a gp in 1996, it made a lot of things that had been happeneing throughout my teenage and young adulthood drop into place so just accepted it and moved on...

3 years later a new gp weaned me off all the pills and did cbt, lifestyle changes etc with me..very positive experience... so i started to doubt the original diagnosis where i had been told that i would be medicated for the rest of my life.

Late last year i started having really bad problems with depression, and mentioned to my current gp that i had been diagnosed bipolar in the past.. he said that it was rubbish and if i was bipolar i would be on meds! about 2 months later he saw me in a mixed state and said that maybe i was bipolar and has put me on antidepressants.

I told my mum today, and she is addamant that i cant be bipolar cause if i was i would have spells of being completely incapable of coping, her words "you wouldnt even be capable of cutting your own toenails"

so now my heads in a spin and i dont know if im coming or going, Im going to ask gp for a referal to a proper psychiatrist tomorrow, but that scares me, and what if im just a fraud and all this is just in my head?

the pills my gp has me on are making me go manic (mild at the moment but getting worse) and my heads in a whirl and im feeling scared and paranoid and i just want it all to go away!

dont really know why im writing this or what response im expecting.. just a rant i guess..... thanks for reading this if you have gotten this far!

[NuckingFutz]

Wow! Sorry that your mom could not be more supportive. When in a mixed state make sure to have a support ndtwork set up. When I am in a mixed state is when I can get into a lot of trouble. My support network keeps me balanced. I hope you find relief soon. I told my mom once and she thought it was an open invitation to debate. I just said "who on earth would want to be bipolar?". I think I won that one. I hope you find relief soon!

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by polyonamous

I told my mum today, and she is addamant that i cant be bipolar cause if i was i would have spells of being completely incapable of coping, her words "you wouldnt even be capable of cutting your own toenails"

That's a misconception about BP. Many people with BP live very productive lives and chalk the depression up to being "burnt out". I have had symptoms since I was a kid (1st attempt at 8), but wasn't diagnosed until 31. During that time I built a successful career etc. etc.

A Psychiatrist is a necessity and if you are only on an anti-d I would suggest asking your GP for a prescription for a mood stabilizer. Mixed states can be very dangerous and like NF said a plan of action may be a good idea. If you feel you need to don't hesitate to go to the Psychiatric Hospital. Do you have a close friend or family member that you can be open with?

[Anneinside]

BLueoctober is right about getting on a mood stabilizer. Taking an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer can send you right into mania! You need to see someone quickly. As it can take a while to get in with a psychiatrist, you should probably see your gp until your initial appointment.

[polyonamous]

have made a gps appointment for this afternoon! i think the upset with mum has made things worse! am feeling very agitated this morning!
Thanks for your replies!

[PT52]

polyonamous: your story sounds SO much like mine..and so recent, too. I have a sister who fits the description your mother gave, 3 more sibs who are at various levels of functionality, and I've spent years diagnosed as ADD/anxiety disorder. I was on Prozac and I kept getting more and more agitated, jittery, unfocused, until it was even hard to breathe. Plus the depression was getting worse. Functioning, though...people just thought I was rude most of the time. Now on Lamictal and can't believe the difference. Told my (non-biological) mom just yesterday..she would agree with your mom, only she thinks most of the symptoms are choices we can control. So I just kind of avoid the argument (see how good the Lamictal works?) and do what I need to do for my own well-being.

Hang in there, you can love your mom without agreeing with her, and do what's best for YOU. And keep in touch here as much as you can..it's a really great place for support and people will always give you their honest (and caring) opinion

[polyonamous]

Thanks PT
went to gp today and asked for a psych referal, she has said ok to that but no mood stabalisers cos they would mask the symptoms for the psych!
Am calming down today, think my mum cant handle it, and thats frustrating but shes still my mum! hope they can get my meds sorted out like yours!

[lonegael]

Blue October, my mom was sure I was going to murder her and my dad in their bed when I told them. No thought that if I was going to do it, I probably would have already done it several times over.
My cutting my toe nails wasn't high on her worry list
People have a hard time accepting that reality is not always how the movies portray it, or, like with my mom, that understanding of diseases of the mind and nervous system changes constantly. She is sure that the only right descriptions are what she learned in the fifties. Huggs, dear, and give her time. She may just need time to digest it.

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by polyonamous

Thanks PT
went to gp today and asked for a psych referal, she has said ok to that but no mood stabalisers cos they would mask the symptoms for the psych!
Am calming down today, think my mum cant handle it, and thats frustrating but shes still my mum! hope they can get my meds sorted out like yours!

If you can't get in with a P-doc right away I would recommend seeing another GP. Not to scare you, but anti-d's with no mood stabilizer ended up with me being committed in a Psychiatric Hospital.

[polyonamous]

thanks blue october,
gp didnt know how long the waiting list is as she "doesnt often refer people" but she thought it would be quite quick. I should get the appointment letter in the next few days, if the waiting list is more than a couple of weeks i will take your advice and go back.
she has decreased the dose of my anti Ds, it surprised me that she didnt set a follow up date though!

[PT52]

Originally Posted by polyonamous

thanks blue october,
gp didnt know how long the waiting list is as she "doesnt often refer people" but she thought it would be quite quick. I should get the appointment letter in the next few days, if the waiting list is more than a couple of weeks i will take your advice and go back.
she has decreased the dose of my anti Ds, it surprised me that she didnt set a follow up date though!

She really upped your anti Ds? When your head's in a whirl? When mine were upped a couple of years ago, I stuttered so bad no one could understand me, it felt like 10 people were all talking in my head and it got so bad I couldn't breathe! If you start feeling worse at all, storm into her office and make her see you!

[desperate dina]

Originally Posted by polyonamous

originally diagnosed by a gp in 1996, it made a lot of things that had been happeneing throughout my teenage and young adulthood drop into place so just accepted it and moved on...

3 years later a new gp weaned me off all the pills and did cbt, lifestyle changes etc with me..very positive experience... so i started to doubt the original diagnosis where i had been told that i would be medicated for the rest of my life.

Late last year i started having really bad problems with depression, and mentioned to my current gp that i had been diagnosed bipolar in the past.. he said that it was rubbish and if i was bipolar i would be on meds! about 2 months later he saw me in a mixed state and said that maybe i was bipolar and has put me on antidepressants.

I told my mum today, and she is addamant that i cant be bipolar cause if i was i would have spells of being completely incapable of coping, her words "you wouldnt even be capable of cutting your own toenails"

so now my heads in a spin and i dont know if im coming or going, Im going to ask gp for a referal to a proper psychiatrist tomorrow, but that scares me, and what if im just a fraud and all this is just in my head?

the pills my gp has me on are making me go manic (mild at the moment but getting worse) and my heads in a whirl and im feeling scared and paranoid and i just want it all to go away!

dont really know why im writing this or what response im expecting.. just a rant i guess..... thanks for reading this if you have gotten this far!

Hi - really sorry that your mum wasn't able to give a more positive response. As a mum myself of a daughter that has bi-polar I can honestly say that I was relieved with the diagnosis - it explained so much.
Don't be too harsh with her- it's only fear that makes her seem so unsympathetic - if she isn't prepared to find out about bipolar then give her stuff to read, ask her to come to meetings, get her informed and involved - not in a way that will frighten her but in a way that will help her help you - trust her.
Mental illness is frightening for those who don't have it - but its only a broken leg or an arm - it needs mending.
Lots of love