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Old Sep 23, 2010, 07:53 PM
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BlackPup BlackPup is offline
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OK the trigger is probably over the top, but I don't want anyone to read this and feel bad about how they feel or about relying on friends. Friends can be awesome, supportive and amazing so don't feel bad if you are lucky enough to have someone like that.
I just need to rant:

I remember during one of my earlier depressions, I was talking to my friend. He was the first person I opened up to and discussed it with. He was so patient and listened to my rambling. Then he made a comment that we come back to the same problems over and over again, and how he had felt really embarrassed to go back to the same people with the same problems over and over again. Obviously I was repeating myself from the previous time I had been depressed but he said it in a nice way so I didn't feel bad...
But now, way too many years later, when its the same problems I feel like i can't bring them to my friends that have been so supportive coz how much do they have to take? I feel so stupid to be this broken down record player constantly repeating the same sorry song...
At least I have doctors etc who have to help me, but even then with my therapist I feel stupid for being unfixable....
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  #2  
Old Sep 23, 2010, 07:56 PM
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Amazonmom Amazonmom is offline
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You are not stupid or unfixable. Sometimes I get in the same trap- not having enough variety in my life so the only thing to talk about is depression. I am bored with my depression and am actively trying to expand my horizons so that I can make and keep more friends.

Easier said than done I know.

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Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more.
Thanks for this!
BlackPup
  #3  
Old Sep 23, 2010, 08:18 PM
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Gus1234U Gus1234U is offline
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dear Pup,, learn Skills,, help Self,, this has been the way out for me. Go to DBT, CBT, Self-Hypnosis, Anxiety Managment, Knitting ,, fer heaven's sake,,, any skill~! learn something already, and you will have something you didn't have before~! the more you practice a new skill ,, the better you become at it,,, just repeating oneself is not a skill,,, give it up for a lost cause... try meditating,, or fishing, or golfing, volunteer,,,, i bet you have heard all this 84 times,, but i hope you start swimming for shore soon,,, Gus
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BlackPup
  #4  
Old Sep 23, 2010, 08:25 PM
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BlackPup BlackPup is offline
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thanks
amazon mum: funny that we can see the flaws in each others thinking but not our own
gus: definitely will take your advice on board... started sewing a couple of weeks ago...

It's not that I can't get better or that I haven't overcome it in the past - its just so disheartening to have it before me again..
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  #5  
Old Sep 23, 2010, 08:30 PM
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Gus1234U Gus1234U is offline
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i do understand, all too well, pup,, it took me 15 yrs to feel some relief,, and now it's 20 and i am trying to get a life,,,, but i have a new attitude, and that makes all the difference~! Gus
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BlackPup
  #6  
Old Sep 24, 2010, 11:06 AM
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lonegael lonegael is offline
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Location: Sweden, back of beyond
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Sweetie, I know. The hard thing is builing a life that does more than circle around this blasted illness. it's so easy to focus on pain because pain is SUPPOSED to be focused on; that's the whole point! People are supposed to want to try and fix it so that they don't hurt with you! It's just that this doesn't work when the pain is like ours.
Pup, there rare some really good books on chronic pain out there that talk about how to manage chronic pain without driving other people away. I know that sounds wierd, but when i saw one of thse and leafed through it, I thought, "Wow, this is just what a lot of folks I know in the Chronic Mental concerns world need." Pain is pain, and a lot of the same techniques work, particularly the mindfullness and CBT stuff. This isn't deep therapy, it's more how to handle daily thinking habits and how we learn to socialize with people.
Huggs!
  #7  
Old Sep 24, 2010, 02:42 PM
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PT52 PT52 is offline
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Quote:
funny that we can see the flaws in each others thinking but not our own
This is so beyond true for me! I give awesome advice (according to my sister ), but won't listen to myself, or anyone else for that matter..until I found this place where everyone has the kind of advice I need _
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Put the hammer down, keep it full speed ahead
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  #8  
Old Sep 26, 2010, 07:17 AM
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BlackPup BlackPup is offline
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Thanks for all your understanding and advice...
Feeling less sorry for myself now... can honestly answer that things have been "interesting" for a bit but back on track, and can laugh about some of the things over the last month!!!
lonegael: interesting parallel with chronic pain... could be something to learn about how to cope... had back pain for a year or so with a crush fracture so know what you mean... thankfully ok most of the time now...
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