[Chompers]

I have been going to the local MHC here for a few months, since I moved home & actually managed to get in there (which is another story of incompetence itself). I'm in a rural area & on SSD, but my Medicare won't kick in till next year so I have no insurance till then. I am on SSD for my Bipolar, so mental health treatment is the most important thing for me right now, as I previously worked as a professional & hope to get back on my feet & able to return to work. The MHC is a half hour from me & even if I had insurance there is nowhere else here to go without driving closer to an hour.

So, I have been on generic Lamictal for the last few months, & we have been working to get the dose right. The nurse has only been prescribing me enough medicine at a time to get me through till my next appt. I already had to postpone this appt due to having to be in court last month, so I had to move my therapy appt back, & they wouldn't let me see the nurse till I saw my counselor. I skipped a few pills here & there, so I had enough to get through till today without running out. So today, I was running late. My clock showed closer to 5mins late, but the clock in the reception said 10mins which is the cut off, so they would not let me see the nurse. The next appointment I could get was a month away. When I mentioned I would need some more meds to get me through till then, I was callously told I couldn't have any more meds till I saw the nurse.

I left hurt & confused. I know I was late & I understand needing to reschedule, but I don't understand why I have to go off my meds for a month over 10mins? I have been very regular about keeping my appointments. I have been late once before & had to reschedule a therapy appointment. The last time I was there I got called out because I had to cut my hour therapy appointment down to half an hour because my gas light came on as I pulled up & I need the rest of the money to get home. I never got to talk to the nurse, this all came from the receptionist.

After leaving I decided I was not going to do the bouncing on & off medication thing. By the time I get back in to see her, the lamotrigine will be out of my system & I'll have to start all over building back up to my current dosage. So I called the MHC & told the receptionist to cancel my appointment, I was going to be going off my meds permanently & will no longer need to see the nurse. I also asked for the nurse's voicemail to leave her message letting her know why I would no longer be seeing her. I was told she doesn't have voicemail & had to leave a message with the receptionist. I have yet to hear from her, but there's still a couple of hours left in the business day. If she calls me back I'm hoping to get her to either call me something in or advocate on my behalf, & on behalf of others in the same situation.

It's either important that I take the meds, or it is unimportant. My meds can't only be important when I'm on time. And if they aren't important, why bother? Everything I've read points to NOT suddenly stopping lamotrigine.

The official Lamictal site:

Do not stop LAMICTAL without first talking to a healthcare provider.

• Stopping LAMICTAL suddenly can cause serious problems.

from crazymeds.com:

Like any anticonvulsants, if you've been taking Lamictal (lamotrigine) for more than a couple months and you're up to or above 100mg a day (give or take, depending on other meds you might be taking) you just can't stop cold turkey if you're not at the therapeutic dosage for another anticonvulsant that you know works for you, otherwise you risk partial-complex, absence seizures, or even tonic-clonic grand malsdespite your never having had a seizure disorder before! The risk is worse if you're taking a lithium variant, and/or any antidepressants, especially Wellburtin (bupropion hydrochloride). Even if you are taking something else Lamictal (lamotrigine) has its own set of issues with sudden discontinuation, namely intense headaches and sudden, intense and sometimes suicidal depression. That's right, Lamictal (lamotrigine) will give you headaches when you take it and it will give you headaches it you suddenly stop taking it. Anyone with a history of a seizure disorder who needs to stop taking an anticonvulsant cold turkey needs to be discussing that with two neurologists and not getting your information from some stupid web site. Get off your computer and start making appointments!

For an agency established to assist people with mental health problems, & this includes my experiences with other MH agencies too, I feel as though we as consumers are punished for exhibiting the symptoms of our disease. For today specifically, I understand I was late & they needed to reschedule me to avoid backing the entire schedule up. I get that, but what I don't get is why I so casually forced to go cold-turkey on my meds? I went through this repeatedly with the whole MH system where I was living. Including having to go off meds everything I transitioned from the hospital to MHC to residential treatment back to the MHC. Every time I was turned out with no meds & told to get them from the MHC, who refused to give me anything till I saw their psych who always then started me on something entirely different.

Long story short, I feel like I am being punished in a very cruel & callous fashion, that is completely unethical. I was 10mins late & I'm being treated like a pillbilly who only shows up with I need a fix. I make all my appointments, am honest & active in my therapy, take my pills regularly as prescribed (cash pay btw, they do not provide them for me), & on my own time work towards improving myself & my situation. I am so confused & angry about this. Even if I don't hear back from the nurse, I have an appointment with my therapist Thursday & I'm going to discuss it with her & see what she can do. I'm ready to report this to NAMI & my state, & anyone else who will listen, but would love some feedback from you guys. How standard is this practice? Am I overreacting? Did I bring this on myself & therefore deserve to have the meds pulled out from under me?

Thanks to those of you who take the time to read all this & thanks again to those who leave their 2c below.

EDIT: Forgot to mention I have been on 150mg qd.

[Anneinside]

You are the one who is right... what they are doing is wrong. I don't have any suggestions for you on how to handle other than agree with you that you need to talk to your therapist about what to do. Could you see your medical doctor?

[TinaL]

This is pretty unfair. I am sorry you are going through this. I have dealt with the same kinda stuff. It was hard to stay positive. I hope you can find a resolution.

[blueoctober]

Chompers; that is brutal.......I hope your p-nurse calls tomorrow.

[Chompers]

thanks guys i'm glad it isn't just me overreacting. i felt pretty strongly that i was not. but you know how when you have *ahem* issues you can never be sure if what you feel/think is "right" or not, & often people who know will try to use that against you. so, you have helped to steel me in my conviction they are in the wrong.

i'm really disappointed i did not hear back from the nurse today. i was thinking about going to my pcp, but i'm not sure how that would go. i'm overdue for them anyway. i can only do so much, with limited income & energy, & no insurance, so i've been focusing on my mental health issues since they contribute more to my physical health issues than the other way around. my therapy appt is thursday & there is a nami grp mtg that day too, so we'll see how much poop i can stir up then.

i hate to be confrontational, but you can only back down so far before your only option is to jump up in somebody's face. but why am i surprised it? it's the only reason i got into the MHC in the first place & they've been ****** as far as policies go since day 1. if i had any better option i'd be exercising it right now.