[irishgirl4]

After going off of Depakote and my MAOI antidepressant last week, I have been on no meds. I have been going nuts with obsessive compulsive thoughts (eating disorder voices telling me how fat I am, thoughts about suicide, an obsession with looking at pictures of dead people, suicide methods, etc.). I called my doc on Monday. He said that he needed to think about "our options". I didn't hear from him, so I sent him a very desperate email yesterday. He actually called me. He told me to take Klonopin twice a day to get my anxiousness controlled. However, he said that we were going to hold off on mood stabilizers/anti-depressants.

I really feel like I need more than Klonopin. In fact, he gave me 100 .5 mg tablets with one refill. What's the first thing that I did when I got the prescription? I researched how I could od on the Klonopin, plus the large bottle of Depakote that is in my house.

Considering that these are my reactions, don't you think I need more than a anti-anxiety pill? Doesn't this seem skimpy?

My doc said that first we need to "get my finger out of the socket"-whatever that means.

I do have an appointment with him in two weeks. I just can't imagine lasting that long. I'm in bad shape. I have expressed that in great detail to him.
Does he think that I am being overdramatic? I have a history of trying to kill myself twice in the past 1.5 years. Gosh...I don't know what to do!

[irishgirl4]

Originally Posted by irishgirl4

After going off of Depakote and my MAOI antidepressant last week, I have been on no meds. I have been going nuts with obsessive compulsive thoughts (eating disorder voices telling me how fat I am, thoughts about suicide, an obsession with looking at pictures of dead people, suicide methods, etc.). I called my doc on Monday. He said that he needed to think about "our options". I didn't hear from him, so I sent him a very desperate email yesterday. He actually called me. He told me to take Klonopin twice a day to get my anxiousness controlled. However, he said that we were going to hold off on mood stabilizers/anti-depressants.

I really feel like I need more than Klonopin. In fact, he gave me 100 .5 mg tablets with one refill. What's the first thing that I did when I got the prescription? I researched how I could od on the Klonopin, plus the large bottle of Depakote that is in my house.

Considering that these are my reactions, don't you think I need more than a anti-anxiety pill? Doesn't this seem skimpy?

My doc said that first we need to "get my finger out of the socket"-whatever that means.

I do have an appointment with him in two weeks. I just can't imagine lasting that long. I'm in bad shape. I have expressed that in great detail to him.
Does he think that I am being overdramatic? I have a history of trying to kill myself twice in the past 1.5 years. Gosh...I don't know what to do!

Whoops...I meant to say Klonopin in my title

[sugahorse1]

Klonopin is great for anxiety, but a highly addictive drug.
If you are Bipolar, I cannot understand that this is all he's putting you on?? A mood-stabiliser is usually the first thing prescribed
I'm sorry you're in a bad way. I did the same thing as you when I was in a bad place - researched OD options with regards to all the meds I had available. And it feels terrible when no-one seems to be listening to you about the place you are in. Have you told him about the sui thoughts? Do you have a T you can tell about this?
You are reaching out and you deserve to be heard!

[BNLsMOM]

This is just my opinion, but I think your doctor is being irresponsible by not having you on a mood stabilizer. I understand that MAOI has to be completely out of your system before many other meds can be introduced and that it can take a couple of weeks. If I were going through what you are, and had to be completely off meds, I think my doctor would have me in the hospital so that the med change can be done in a controlled environment.

Because you were on an MAOI, your doctor may have to wait until you system is clear of it before putting you on something else.

[irishgirl4]

I talked to my t today and told him a/b the huge bottle of Depakote that I have. He asked if I could flush it, I said no. He told me to bring it to my appt on Monday. Will there be a Monday at this rate? Every bridge I see, every pill I have, makes me think of dying. And...apparently Klonopin does nothing for suicidal urges!

[Anneinside]

Irishgirl, if you continue to be suicidal and think you may do something, don't hesitate to go to the ER. Hospitalization can be a very good thing sometimes.

[BNLsMOM]

I agree with Anne. Please stay safe.

[sugahorse1]

Yes, please try flush those tabs - else take yourself to the hospital. It'll just be for a while, until the MAOI are out of your system and you can start on new meds. This will be much easier for you in a controlled environment