[venusss]

Do you want to get rid of the moods, feelings, etc. you have, or do you want to learn to manage them and live with them?

i want to learn to manage them. i do not want to be normal. I do enjoy my highs... I learned to control them to a degree... I do even, in some weird twisted way, enjoy some of the lows... when I bring myself to channel it... it brings interesting perspective... of course, I am not master yet. Some of the lows are just too much for me and I just go with the flow hoping to resurface soon.

but... I lived with this so long, that I am not sure i could handle normal. I don't even know what normal is.

[widgets]

when i'm depressed, i wish and wish and pray and pray and would do anything to be 'normal'.
Sometimes i do feel normal, but have this weird conviction that i'm meant to be something MORE.
and when i'm manic, i love it, even if i'm not happy, it still feels like its meant to be in some strange sense.

[blueoctober]

Hi VenusHalley I have had symptoms since I was 8. I was diagnosed at 31 and am now 35. I don't enjoy the highs or lows. I use to enjoy the highs because I could get a lot done, and it helped me build the career I have now. Now when I'm hypomanic I don't like the feeling and I see that it can be off putting to others.

I have learned to manage the BP, but if I had the choice of having it I wouldn't want it. I still have a personality and will always be special, but it's not my BP symptoms that make me special (I'm not depression or hypomania). I don't think there is anyone in this world that is "normal" we all have our quirks, but my quirks happen to be diagnosable in the DSMIV

[BlackPup]

I love some of my moods and hate others, I don't want to be flat but don't want to go back to that dark place or start freaking out over voices and stuff. Normal: there is no such thing, I want to be me!!!! I want to be able to live and function well. I need the drugs at the moment, but they don't make me flat, they just make me less bumpy. I am still me

[iluvyaoi]

I don't even think there is such thing as normal, especially because everybody's "normal" is different from others. My "normal" could very well be different from your "normal". But if I had the choice, I wouldn't really get rid of it. I like the highs, and like you, I enjoy the lows (except when it's too much to handle.) I guess it's becaue I"m some sort of emotional masochist

[PT52]

normal is never really normal...and if you've never been normal, how do you know when you are? and what about the times you've felt normal then found out you weren't? I'm pretty sure I'm not normal...

[Trippin2.0]

My BP is my normal...

I don't know anything else, yes I'd like things to tone down, or slow down sometimes, but ultimately, this is me.

And yes, I get the analogy "you are not the bipolar" but in my case, it's an integral part of who I am, and that works for me...

SO normal? I am normal

[venusss]

I wonder often what the impairment means. I am akward in relationships a bit, but I believe that me being a shy intellectual is the reason.

I still manage to get by. I study and I do okay in school... I wish I was better, but i would have to be hypomanic all the time for that.

[sugahorse1]

I wish the depression would go away and stop debilitating me; otherwise I'm happy to accept "me"

[widgets]

I agree no one is 'normal,' its such a silly word, when you really think into it, as no 2 people in the world are the same regardless of any mental illness.
But when i say i wish to be normal, i mean, i wish that when i feel high, its appropriate to the situation and when i feel low its for a reason. Thats 'normal,' to be happy when good things happen and sad when bad things happen.
I want to feel like my lifes moving forward!
so i think that i'm not very accepting to having Bipolar!

[sugahorse1]

Widgets - it takes some time to come to terms with BP. Some people I guess never learn to accept it.
Your life can still move forward, even with BP.
And you'll soon learn to recognise when the lows and highs are "normal" and when they can be attributed to BP.

[widgets]

i suppose everyone lives to their means in a way.
Like rich people dont have loadsa money spare cause all their bills would be more expensive.
our expectations of being normal, are just having less rapid and extreme moods, take that away and to us it 'normal,' but that person may not feel they are 'normal.'
looking at my non=bipolar friends, they arent 'normal,' one girl is in a relationship with someone who chased her for months, was clingy and possesive, now the moment she feel in love with him the way he loved her, he's now playing it so cool, she doesnt even know whether he wants her or not but is too afraid to ask, i can look at each of my friends and pick something about them thats not normal, just happens that mines bipolar.
The difference is, i know that i will always have bipolar, every problem my friends have, they can kind of see an end.
babble babble babble.
i hate the word normal, but i suppose we need to have it dont we?

I've had BP a long time, though it was only properly diagnosed a couple years ago, even though the symptoms had been obvious for at least 25 years. Undiagnosed because everyone around me just wanted to chalk it up to a weird and unpredictable personality (lack of self control, just snap out of it sorts of "explanations" and blame). Thing is, it got worse over time. More massive and frequent massive depressions, more impulsive and ridiculous ideas, with increasing intensity. The ups became more dysphoric. Earlier on they were generally more fun. The earlier manifestations might have felt like "me", but later, it became so that if this was "me", I wanted no part of it and grew increasingly serious about ending it, because I just couldn't bear myself anymore.

Managing my BP (including meds, quite helpful) has not changed who I am, just mellowed out the parts that increasingly tormented me. I've always done art, and now it is considerably deeper than it used to be. And more often, since before I would go through spells so long and horrid that I couldn't do any at all. So, long and short, I think there are a lot of myths out there. To my experience anyway.

I'm still not "normal", never was, never will be, and that's just fine with me.