[Auqinu]

One thing I have been thinking about for quite awhile is all of my feelings are attributed to being mentally ill. I'm wondering if anyone else gets this and how they react, what they say.
A couple of examples.
My husband, if I get angry with him about anything, goes strait to I'm bipolar so he discounts anything I'm thinking or saying. Like I don't have the right to have any feelings cuz they are not real.
My mom too, if I'm happy or excited, she asks did you take your meds.

I just want to give a great big middle finger to these people sometimes, first of all even feelings when I'm not exactly stable are still feelings and I should be allowed to feel.

Just something I've been thinking about for a while.

[bpd2]

My family is so good about this...my therapist talks to my husband sometimes, too, and my husband is "on board." He's talked to my parents--I did a little bit, to look at the family history. My psychiatrist has talked to me kids--he's here in town and wanted to talk to them because of his own experiences as a child. He wanted to completely de-mystify bi-polar.

HOWEVER, that said, we are very careful about talking about it outside the family. We moved here four years ago in part because of the situation disclosure caused in my old job.

My own feelings about being mentally ill? EVERY day something happens that reminds me of my limitations. EVERY day something comes up that is dangerous for me to do because it is very likely to trigger me. So, I have made a quiet life for myself and the only crowds I willing go to are writer's conferences--where I will find wild people even if they're not bipolar! Otherwise, three hours in a group is my absolute limit before I have to get away, and that can be awkward. For example, sleepovers when my kids were little were almost always out of the question, and that left a mark, a memory for that is sad for all of us.

BUT, I am a good mother, and I delight them in creative ways that knock their socks off. I concentrate on all that is special about me. It took me awhile to find that--to find things I could name and remind myself of and be reminded of, and that is a wonderful thing. I play to my strengths as much as I can, and I play them up. There's pressure, sure, but I am better than my illness is bad. Sometimes I have to be reminded of that, but, still.....

[venusss]

Yes, we should be allowed to feel. I WANT to feel sad when I have a reason. I want to feel silly-happy. I want to feel. I just want to learn to manage the extremes and live with them, but honestly... it's been so long that it's normal for me and i can deal with it some 80 - 90% of the time. not sure I could handle flatline.

Not everything is symptom.

[crzyladee]

I'm giving them the California wave as well.

It's very frustrating when the bipolar is blamed on me having a sad day or a happy day. Why can't I just have a sad day without it being because I'm bipolar?

'Normal' people have off days, wth.....I wish there were a cure for this so I could just say "oh no I took the vaccine, I'm all clear" but alas the pharmaceutical companies need us to stay in business.

[PT52]

I think I'm lucky that my doctor recognizes that outside circumstances can affect feelings, too, and doesn't over-medicate me. My husband sometimes will ask why my meds aren't fixing every mood - then again, he's one of those men that would blame PMS for everything Like Venus, I want to learn to manage extremes, but I don't want to totally give up having feelings, good or bad.

[sugahorse1]

My pdoc and T are both always looking to see if my depression/happiness is caused by circumstances (Then I guess these are considered "normal") or if there is no circumstantial stressor (This is then BP) or if there was a trigger (Bit of both BP and "normal").

I cannot tell the difference. My highs are mild - so I'm just glad I'm happy and go with the flow.

[Auqinu]

I am getting so much more information from this site. I started the mood chart and now I can keep track of circumstantial stressers. This is a great way of looking at it. Hopefully instead of getting mad or frustrated with my family I can just say hey I'm happy because and maybe they will let me be a little bit. I understand that no one wants me hospitalized again.

[sugahorse1]

Glad your family is open to learning and that you are learning lots yourself - which in turn you can share with them.
I think your family will eventually reach a point where they can notice your moods, and discern between what is the Bipolar you, and what is the "normal" you. We definitely are allowed to feel!

[ladyjrnlist]

All your feelings are justified. Doesn't matter what their genesis is.

[Auqinu]

to not feel guilty or bad about my feelings would certainly be much better for me.

[BlackPup]

I think that the people around us as well as ourselves forget that we have "normal" reactions as well as our bipolar specialties