Co-workers - ARG!!!

Right, so we all know I'm in a job that's probably a bit too stressful for me, and I am looking for something else. But in the mean-time, I'm looking for some support.

My immediate co-worker (We share an office and responsibilities) is triggering me to no end. I even disclosed my BP to her, in the hope that she'd be a bit sympathetic and back off.

But she just took off at me: The way I am running the department is diabolical and unacceptable, and she feels that come the new year, the department will fall to pieces.
Basically - she has no faith in me. I shouldn't care about it, but it hurt me. She's not my boss either. But i stormed out the office to rant to someone I can talk to. I just feel so broken down right now.

I've been taking enough strain in my work as it is - my manager is trying to get me moved to work under another supervisor, because he realises I clash with this supervisor. So I've had no support from my supervisor anyway. And I'm in a role where I need to still learn my job.

I am "fairly" stable. but this has shaken me. I don't even know what the emotions are. anger, anxiety, stressed, hurt, lonely...

SO sorry your co-worker's being an FDB... I'm here if you need to talk.XOXO

Next time tell her to be quiet and mind her own business. And tell her "well, if the department does fall apart, see you in the unemployment line!" lol. I am such a smart***.

Thanks Skully. I wish I was so brave as to tell her to her face; but I'm a bit of a whimp at times. The problem is that our decision making needs to take place together; they impact the other.
And she thinks she's God's gift to our company. I just take things to serious ...

I have colleagues llike that too... no matter what they do they think they are oh so fantastic when ironically they aren't lol

Ironically they are the ones who make the most errors

Maybe your colleague is jealous cause you have coped so well with your diagnosis and the fact that you work with her and she sees you on a daily basis... jealousous is an awful thing

@Miss Laura. I wish I could see the situation like that. I think she is just plain ignorant. I told her about my dx and sent her some literature on the basics, yet she doesn't seem to get it. Will speak to my T about how else to broach the subject, or if I need to just learn coping skills so as to not jeapordise my job.

Is it a human tihng or do you think BPer's are that much more sensitive? I felt sick to my stomach and am physically exhausted now after having gone through that. Or am I exceptionally weak to not be able to cope with this? It does make me look at myself and wonder...

Everyone has the courage within them. You just have to dig deep. And once you do it, it will get easier to stand up for yourself. Just think "what would skully do?" lol. I can text you support when needed lol and guide you through the conversation! Sometimes it is better to just let the arogant people do their own thing...in the end it will catch up to them and she will be gone. Hang in there

I know I personally am far more "sensitive" than I use to be. I get hurt at the least little thing (so I have been told).... I think speaking to ur T is a good idea... Maybe she is just plain ignorant there are some people out there who are like that unfortunately

((((((( sugahorse )))))))

There is always 'one' in every work place that thinks they are God. Most people like this are usually very insecure and can only feel good if they are blaming others. Time for you to practice being assertive. Have a chat with T on how to stick up for yourself and handle these situations.

Skully - you going to text me in South Africa... lol??
Just another 20mins and I can escape

Some people trigger me. No real reason sometimes. They just do. That's BP.

Suga, we are more sensitive. We pick up signals from people that even they don't know they send. I had to learn to handle it by doing the other thing, by getting way cold at times like that with people like your colleague and asking her, for example, "are you done having hysterics now? Good, because what this company needs is for the two of us to work together and I definitely don't feel like you have the self discipline to do that at the moment, or am I wrong? Oh? Good! Then Let's work!" Of course, I would be grinning like death the entire time at her or looking at her as if her next roomate would be Dexter, and she'd LIK it, but that is another thing... Poor dear. It is a common problem with us. Too bad she's not woman enough to handle your disclosure. HUGGGSSSS!

For you, I'd text anywhere

longael-i need to grow a set of balls. I dont have much self-esteem when it comes to telling people to their face. Now i feel like my job is 'raping' me of anything and everything that is me

Ah, dear, it's not a set of balls. I'm afraid I have a side of my personality that would be more at homedoing what some of my ancestors do best, mayhem. Think of it so; this disease has really decided to hit you hardest later in life than it did me, sounds like. You are responding like this because you are not as damaged. The trick is keeping your sensitivity and not letting it destroy you.
First, it's OK to admit you are angry, and remember angry does not mean out of control. Counter it by taking control. remind her that her behavior is not OK by showing her at the same time that you definitly are more in control of you than she is of herself, even if you don't feel that way. Normals HATE it when we do that

Still the main thing is that you need to show her YOU don't put up with her nonsense and that BOTH OF YOU need to concentrate on more important things, and SHE can't do that if SHE insists on freaking about you. Take your responsibility and drop hers diractly back in her lap, and, even harder, stay and face her music. She is trying to imply because you are sick, everything is your fault, and that is babytalk.

when I come out of these things, I go home, sit in a hot bath, and shake. My adrenaline goes through the roof and it is all I can do not to act on it and tell myself it is just my hairtrigger system going nuts. I don't always manage, so I tell my bosses there are times I gett really mad, and so then I'll have to clean the ceilings for them. I have had clients stand and scream down at me for whole sessions (easy to deal with, if you know they hurt, you can accept their rage), I have had grown drunks stand and accuse me of every genocide in the book (hey, with my ancestry, pick one! eventually you'll hit something!) Nothing gets me like colleagues can. Absolutely nothing. So I hear you. if you want to PM me, please, feel free (my kid's stealing the moblie boadband so I have to get off) but I'll get back on when I can. You're BF needs to do some serious backing up there, though. You need him. HUGGGGSSSSSSS

I know I need my bf, and he knows that too - but I also need to find my own strength.
I'm going to try the reverse tactic thing. Not going to be easy for me tho. It just seems to hit a nerve, and i cannot think slow enough to think about my actions. I don't think she's picking on me for being sick - I think she's just not thinking of her actions, treating me as a "normal" and I'm a bit damaged at the moment to be strong enough to stand up to her.

Went to go see my horse after my T session (which was hard in its own right) and just cried - I let go of the hurt the day had caused me.

I'm still young, the world is my oyster. But I'm battling to take it by the horns, battling to adapt to the change this illness requires.
There's so much I have to learn about myself - once I get that right, I still need to learn how to control ME.
I really appreciate your support - damn, this is not an easy path to walk. And I'm sure a level of emotional maturity would have helped me; instead, I'm realising how weak and emotionally immature I am!!

Another screaming match today. She's just plain and simple a bi%ch.
I think my fight was very fair: impromptu meeting and I don't have all my facts at hand. I warn her, and ask for more time, but she drags me along anyway. I look like an idiot for not having my facts, and she tackles me infront of all the bosses too.
That doesn't go down well with me!

My manager has made a plan and i will probably move to a new department in the new year, whoop whoop

Nine time out of ten, that type of behavior doesn't go down well with the bosses either. She risks looking very bad doing that.. I'm sorry she decided to go that route since it must not have felt good to have to take it with her. A first class Lassie dog. Tell me, time to buy stock in Royal canine?
I hope the move is a good one if it works out. You more than deserve a change to the positive, girl. It sounds like you tried to handle it well, and she was just not having it. Some folks, stupid just goes to the bone. Nothing you can do. HUGGGGGSSSS, and hope next week goes better.

She just seems so out of touch with reality and social skills. guess it's her I need to feel sorry for!

Well, yes, but be carefull of that. If she's out of line, she should be called on it. Telling us to feel sorry for some of these folks is all too often just a good way of saying we shouldn't stand up for ourselves, and that's not right either. It might help you from feeling so angry or letting it get you bitter, but she should still be told she is not behaving properly. YOU DO have a right to be angry, just becareful how you handle it. HUGGGGGGGS hon.