[FeelingHopeful]

Hey guys! I Was wondering if its ok to tell someone you love them? Been reading up that its hard for bp people to really love at first , If i tell someone i love them is that ok how do you guys feel if you cant say it back , are we putting a burden on you guys or do you like to hear it?

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by FeelingHopeful

Been reading up that its hard for bp people to really love at first

I've never heard of that. In my experience I find I have more intense emotions whether it's love, happiness, anger etc.

[CesarioRose]

I can only speak for my self, as we all can; meaning we can only talk for our selves on the matter on how we each experience the emotion of love. Bi Polar is a very deep and very... what's the word... expansive illness. Many experience it very differently, as indeed many experience life differently. We all come from different backgrounds, and we all experience our intense emotions in altered ways.

With that said, if "i love you" came from someone genuine, and not from my family, it would mean the world to me. I would latch on to the source of the love, as i have rarely experienced what i call "earned love." Family, at least in my experience, has always loved me for better or worse. But again, i'm a special case; i have chronic phobias related to abandonment and rejection from loved ones and friends. So, as a result, I latch on, and have extreme anxiety when they leave.

Not everyone is going to react the same. But in general, i think it's fair to say "we" experience emotions in a more intense and extreme way.

Hope this helps.

[ladyjrnlist]

I would say that's not a generalization that is true of bipolars. Everyone is different. That said, I've never had a problem hearing or saying those words as long as they are heartfelt.

[widgets]

i would do anything for someone to love me!
I also have intense fear of abandonment and rejection, so if it wasnt heartfelt, it would destroy me when i found out!

[kitty004567]

If this is the friend you've been here asking advice about before...or even not. I think you're a very caring individual who has really tried to understand bipolar disorder and the people who have it so you can be a better friend. I think that's a wonderful thing.

I also think it's ok to express your feelings to people especially if you don't have expectations for how they should act. For example, I have a guy friend who is in love with me. I've told him it's ok to tell me as long as he doesn't expect me to say "I love you" back. He decided he could live with that if it meant he could express his feelings...but that's something we worked out and is really neither here nor there.

So I guess what I'm saying is just don't try to force a particular reaction out of them.

[sugahorse1]

As long as you are genuine about it and aren't saying this right in the beginning of a relationship.
For me, I really need to hear from my partner that he loves me; all the time!

[sarek]

If the feeling is real and genuine then yes, by all means express it as much as you can. I can not tell you what the outcome will be but every now and then beautiful miracles do happen.

[FeelingHopeful]

Thank you everyone! Means alot, Im in a emotional place right now, Kitty, it is the friend I have asked advice on before. I recently told him in a card i Loved him and Im not sure how he is going to feel about it?? I mean Its love for a friend definately but there is sorta a history with us, so Im nervous . Dont wanna push , he will prob know i mean a little more , the feeling is very genuiine, i think i loved him for a while, i dont expect anything in return, just hes going through a tough time now and i guess im nervous if he will feel funny or something?? I read up on Bipolar And bought a book and read a chapter a night, i dont really know whats going on with him, but i want to be prepared to help any way i can.

[kitty004567]

I think you're already showing you love him and that you care.... and that you're there to be a part of his support system (which is awesome!!). Really only you know what's best, especially if there's history. The friend who tells me he loves me is my ex, we were together 3 years including the time during which I was diagnosed. We're friends now. Yes, I want love, I think everyone does. But I have to take my time. I think it's really the same for any two people. However I wanted to thank you for taking the time to understand people with bipolar disorder and help him in any way you can.