[CliveWild]

I have never enjoyed writing a blog entry as much as this one. I don't like to edit blog posts because they are often just a stream of consciousness and it would sort of defeat the object. I was quite ambitious and I hope it makes sense. I have read back some blog posts and I was clearly away with the fairies. I prefer not to plan a post so I start with a feeling and go with it. I hope this one interests you. As usual comments are appreciated.

Clive

http://bipolarfella.blogspot.com/201...ional-moi.html

From Clive's blog: "I am amazed by the range of mood variations. It is not surprising that others are frightened by them. They are incredulous to me some times."

So true! The are incredulous! Reading this made me think of something I've often thought about. How we "remember" different states. There are clear memories of certain bits of time (for me there is one of being extremely depressed, in a state of zombie-like anhedonia and walking around a home and ranch type of store and the thoughts I had there) that I remember and yet feel like I don't truly remember because it is an intellectual memory, not a visceral one. The range is so great that it seems inconceivable, even at the moment of remembering it(!) Same with hypomania--fragments of memory that are real and yet don't feel quite real because I'm not there in that particular mood state in that moment. Does that make any sense? I can't imagine trying to describe it to someone who hasn't "been there", you know? It just sounds so incredulous. It leaves me boggling too!

[Direction]

[quote=CliveWild;1680259]I hope it makes sense.quote]

oh my gosh you found the words to describe me...i feel so understood ...I haven't come across any writing before this that matches up so well to how I've been feeling at a very specific point in time