[mgran]

I've been on these forums before, maybe a year ago, I can't remember, since I wasn't functioning too well at the time. Anyway, I'm back, with a diagnoses finally, and on meds that seem to be helping, although they make me incredibly tired.

Basically, I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, and have had bipolar type symptoms, as well as psychosis and audio and visual hallucinations. (Generally ghosts and demons, and people out to get me.) I've had the whole "my phone is being bugged" thing... to the extent that I refused to register to vote last year, on the grounds that if I was on the electoral register enemies would find it easier to track me down. I've moved house regularly through the years, to get away from "them."

Now I have a housing support case worker, who also sorted out my finances (a real mess believe me) and got me a debt relief order, since I couldn't afford to pay back the debts I ran up while manic, brief intervention worker who is keeping an eye on how I respond to meds, and gradually helping me reintegrate into society. He and two colleagues, for example, came and cleaned my house early in my recovery, and he fixed my broken bed, put up shelves etc.

I still don't open my front curtains, but I can leave the house now without thinking I'm being followed, I can cross the bridge on the way to the shops without thinking there's something under it (I thought of it as "troll bridge.") The meds make me sleepy, and give me crazy dreams, and I did gain weight. I feel slightly less sharp, and make more spelling mistakes than I used to. But in general the improvement is so dramatic that I feel like I'm myself again, after years of anxiety and nightmare.

This of course has a beneficial effect on my teenage son, and the fact that we're no longer in danger of being evicted is a huge relief. I can pay my bills, clean the house, cook dinner, am having music lessons, attending church, all sorts of things that were so hard before. I always put my son first, and he never went hungry, or ragged, but I was so sure that "they" were out to get us that he never had friends around. As I type he's sitting downstairs with a friend playing video games. Life is much better.

Later this month my mental health case worker is bringing me to a patient support group that will help me with training opportunities, CV etc, as well as organising things like joining a gymn (which may help with the weight gain.) I know they're keeping an eye on me, that I don't go manic again, and they're not looking to get me in full time work, something part time, perhaps voluntary in a field I love (animals or children). I just thought I should share a positive story, since I know how bad things can look when you're first diagnosed.

I'm on 300 seroquel extended release (one tablet at bed time) for the psychoses and mania (that's the one that makes me sleepy) and 100 lamactil as a mood stabiliser.

At some point I may be able to reduce the seroquel, but we'll see how it goes. It looks like I'll have to be on something reasonably long term, maybe even the rest of my life. But at least I have a life now.

(Posted twice, because I wasn't sure which was the most appropriate forum.)

[Kymaro]

Well "Welcome" mgran. I am happy that things are improving for your. Sounds like it has been a rough times for you. It's nice to have a support group like you do. Sounds like you have been blessed.

As for feeling tired all the time, maybe it is "just not feeling so manic". I know when I go through my manic phases that when I went back to "norm" I felt like I had no energy or strength for much. If like me, it will balance out soon.

Maybe when you get to the point of reducing the seroquel that "sleepy" feeling will let up. I found that taking seroquel about an hour before bedtime reduces the tired feeling the next day. Maybe once the Lamactil is working real good for you, you will be able to reduce the seroquel. I know Lamactil works well for reducing the psychoses episodes. Hope all keeps going in the right direction for you. Glad that your son and you are progressing in the right direction.

Kymaro

[wing]

Thanks for sharing, mgran. It's great to hear how much better you are. Stay well, and good luck with the rest of your changes!

[mgran]

Thanks for your welcomes. Today I was even able to talk with my Dad about my meds and why I'm on them, and despite all our previous history (he's worried himself sick about me, not knowing what was wrong) it worked out okay. He finally has an explanation... he wasn't a bad Dad, and I wasn't a bad daughter. We've worked things out.

I will always be careful though... these forums help folks keep on track I think. We can stay accountable to each other and ourselves by being here. And hopefully offer help and support to each other.

Thanks again.

[yagalada]

Hi! Good to hear your doing well and getting things sorted out. Over the past year life really got back on track for me as well and just having stability with a new safe place, decent stuff and direction is a big help.

[PT52]

Hi, mgran and welcome to the BP forum There isn't any "wrong" place to post - wherever you feel comfortable! It's great that you've been able to get back on track; remember that this is a great place to hang out even when you're feeling particularly vulnerable. I know for me that mood swings are a lot less scary when I have the support of everyone here.

[blueoctober]

Welcome mgran! I'm glad things are getting on track for you. I hope you find this group supportive.