So, I saw my therapist last night and was going on to her about how I can't stop thinking and can't sleep and how my job is going to make me lose my mind and I said I couldn't take being manic and depressed at the same time and she said I was having a panic attack....So...What I thought were mixed episodes, I'm actually having panic attacks
Which I didn't even realize I was having. So now that I have that figured out...I should get rid of the source, most of which is my job and nightmare boss, who I swear is out to get me. We talked about me quitting, but i won't get unemployment insurance if I quit, and as my husband has been spending all of the money we have, we can't afford for me to do that. My other alternative is to go on disability, which I will bring up next week - i've been looking for another job, and interviewing....I almost wish I would get fired so i don't have to go, but while I'm there i always try to be the best, which is part of my problem.

So, I'm having panic attacks, which is kind of freaking me out because it's been YEARS since i've had them, and I was kind of hoping I was DONE with them, and now here I am again. I have a husband who has spent 40K in the last 6 months and flips between loving and cold in 10 minutes, and a job that I dread going to. I'm just so frustrated and tired of holding it all together - I just want to go to bed and wake up when it's all over.

[PT52]

Panic attacks just suck - that's all there is to it! I get them, too, just not so much anymore. My way of dealing with them was just to avoid the situations; my therapist is now having me put myself in those exact situations but also teaching me tools to prevent the panic - mainly being able to put it in perspective and pushing on through the fear. Because the worst part about it is that you can never get rid of all the sources.

I don't have much good advice as far as your work situation, sorry! I know disability is tough to get, especially if you are able to work. If you can document your boss's behavior, showing a hostile work environment, you might get unemployment even if you quit. Trying to get fired could backfire, too. And my unemployment was recently recalculated - I can now get a part-time job at McDonald's and make more.

I know that there are meds that can help with the anxiety, and there are ways to lessen it without giving up totally...maybe you and your therapist can come up with a plan. I'm sending lots of soothing, peaceful, strong vibes your way right this minute - I hope they help..

[BlackPup]

Recently I have been getting mini panic attacks every time I start driving anywhere, the concentration required to drive is not enough to distract me from the paniky thoughts but too much for me to be able to keep them under control....
I can't imagine what it would be like to have that full blown at work... sending you relaxing thoughts....

I looked up the unemployment rules in NJ where i live - if you quit, it has to be like a really good reason (they put like domestic violence)- and I'm worried that what I say about my boss/company can come back - I actually work through a temp agency - the agency does know there are issues, and just checked in on me last week to see how i'm doing, but there are days when it get's really bad, like thursday, where i can't control it and have the attacks at work, and wherever else.
NJ has temporary disability, which I've gotten before for bipolar, but of course after having such a horrible day thursday, friday wasn't so bad. so then in my head i think "Am i crazy?" But my therapist said it sounded to her like an unhealthy work environment for me. so i'm not.
Thank you for the positive vibes.
It helps

[yagalada]

can the temp agency place you at another job site? they were able to do that for me when i broke out in hives because an office they sent me to was filthy. good luck. my last job drove me off the edge so i understand how crucial it is to have a positive work environment.

i get ssi for bipolar, i was already out of work for 2 years before i applied, and during that time i was frequently hospitalized.

also, can you sit down with your husband and tell him how his spending and moods are contributing to your problems? will he listen? if he wont listen to you alone, can you do a joint session at therapy?

Originally Posted by yagalada

can the temp agency place you at another job site? they were able to do that for me when i broke out in hives because an office they sent me to was filthy. good luck. my last job drove me off the edge so i understand how crucial it is to have a positive work environment.

i get ssi for bipolar, i was already out of work for 2 years before i applied, and during that time i was frequently hospitalized.

also, can you sit down with your husband and tell him how his spending and moods are contributing to your problems? will he listen? if he wont listen to you alone, can you do a joint session at therapy?

the way the agency works- i'm contracted to this company...if they pull me out, there's no guarantee that they can find me somewhere else to work, and the work that I do is pretty specialized, so there just aren't tons of jobs out there for me.

My husband is very difficult. If i don't come on very softly, he gets angry and mean. He doesn't believe in therapy and although he deals with my illness, he generally has no tolerance for anyone who isn't "normal' . i told my therapist this week that i wouldn't bring him in because i think he would either embarass himself or me. I love him, but i'm not sure i will stay married to him because of these and other things. i stay with him now because i need him financially. He can be a kind and loving person, but he can also be mean, so it's basically a bad situation. we just got married last year - probably shouldn't have but it was too late when I realized it. it's a long story which I will bore you all with at some other time. Now i'm just praying he never reads this.

[yagalada]

I was in a relationship like that in the past. im sorry your going through that.