Starting a Meltdown

You have to avoid being alone, or you can talk to anyone when you are really feeling unwell.
I think its nice that you have an assistant.

I managed to get 5 hours sleep last night. My pdoc gives me a lecture whenever I only get 6 so I'm failing more. Though, the urge to self harm has faded a fair bit. I made it through work about but no I have one item on my to do list that is going to be massively time consuming and it was already sending me into a rage last night.

Felt so messed up at work today. I was and still am feeling suicidal but but I feel with it enough not to do anything at this point. Was so hard to take calls from people, telling me their stories of how they've lost all their own. Sad news when I'm already feeling crap doesn't help.

((((((((fire star))))))) I so hope things get better soon.

I had a bit of retail therapy after work so feeling more positive right now. About to dive into some more work though so hoping the feeling last.

OH MAN. So ****ing ragey today. I think I'll stop posting here. I can't be arsed anymore and rather not socialise.

I am sorry things aren't getting better for you. Can you let your T know what is going on? We are here if you decide to keep posting. You are going through just a whorl wind of emotions right now. Its not a time to try to get through this by yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are not alone.