Manic with low self esteem?

Absolutely! With a high that sends me buzzing for only half a day, coupled with inability to concentrate or get things done, I really don't feel good about myself.
Then comes the crash - well a sort of crash - the fuel runs out and my engine splutters, my feelings are dented. I'm not suicidal at this point, just not swinging from the chandeliers. Then a few hours later (probably about bed time) something clears the blockage in my fuel pipe, and my engine races to 18 000rpm again.
Where is that feel good high I was so hoping for? That little bit of hypomania that makes me feel like king of the world again. I seem to miss it completely.
Sigh!

Sounds like you're suffering from mixed episodes. Have you told your doctor about this?

Thanks mgran - yes, mixed like a cocktail and cycling like a see-saw!
Every time I get in my car I feel compelled to drive it flat out. If I listen to music, I get even more stimulated, so I drive with the radio off to help me contain the energy. That is sooooooooo painful - I can hardly describe it. My foot itches the whole time to floor it, and I battle the entire trip to hold back and stick to the speed limit. Sigh!
I'm seeing a new pdoc on Wednesday. Had lithium bloods taken today. May need to change the dose. Now to get that rock band in my head to tone it down a bit so I can sleep

Thanks for caring.

Pete

Hope things level out soon en0ugh for you pete... Stay safe!