I don't even know how I feel

I realize I have been on escapist mode lately... I don't want to deal with my own future... I don't know what i want to do, I don't know where I want to live, I just don't know (yes, pretty sad a 26, but I am sorta counting for the 2012 prophecy being true. Until than I can spend my time in school analyzing nuclear deterrent, just wars and Israeli-Palestinian conflict). I have been following closely what is happening in the world, with a morbid curiousity... spend my spring break on livestream, feeding of the frenzy and high of some parts of world, yay me.

I feel somehow detached from life... at moments I feel like in a bubble... a fog or a dream, I want to thrust myself into school work, but I cannot really concentrate on one thing too long... And I feel easily amused too, so there goes efford. (yes,I know school is important and I can get it back under control in some time. Hopefully).

I have so much on my mind right now... life seems to get in way of realizing them (and it's too damn cold now in Siberia to go on Transiberian anyways... because this is one of the days that hearing a song make me yearn for places. And I listened to a song that mentions Vladivostok and I know I have to visit one day).

I guess... keep looking for omens and keep floating?

venus. Hear ya! (Sad? Nah. Try it at 48. Ugh.) Hope you are feeling more yourself soon...

you are still young ( i can talk, as I am in the same boat!). We sometimes push ourselves too hard to get it all together. Life has a way of mapping itself out. And the doors of opportunity will present themselves to you. Concentration is something I really battle with, and the reason I still have 2 subjects to finish my BCom degree.
I know i put too much pressure on myself to be someone, something. But i'll get there in due course. And I cannot measure myself against my friends, who are all older than me. I do need to ensure that what I'm doing right now, is something that i enjoy, something that fulfills me, or at least a stepping stone to the next place i've decided i want to be at. We all go into escape mode from time to time; it's our body guarding ourselves. It's forcing you to be introspective to eventually move in a safe direction.
Hang in there. You do have a lot going for you.

I hear u guys. today's my last day at work ( company closed )...

I have no direction, don't have the funds to study, and can't find a job. Plus, im the breadwinner, that is not winning anything... im also 26 btw...

i think i'm heading toward escaping...