[SueFL]

I think I may be hypomanic. Help?

All my life (60 years)I've been diagnosed and treated as a depressive. All my episodes have been depression. Then three months ago I did something nuts: I bought tickets for my partner and me to go to Germany to visit a friend for three weeks, with a departure only two weeks away.

And in that two weeks I had to write half a novel so as to deliver it and get paid before Christmas.

While I was buzzing around in that frenzy my partner, who is bipolar, announced to me that I was manicky. Who, me? The depressed one?

I have a family full of bipolars, from mother to cousin to partner and my kids. I know this is likely genetic, but still, I've always been depressed.

I can't take antidepressants at all (the ones that work for me elevate my blood sugar and I'm diabetic) and I can't afford to see a pdoc. So I'm asking my question here.

Over the last week or so, I sank again until on Monday I was barely functional, which brought me here. It's so important to reach out from depression no matter how hard it is, and with much of my family bipolar, I've learned they're not the ones to turn to. Especially my partner. She's hypersentive to my moods and too often mirrors them or gets annoyed.

So Monday I could hardly move. Monday night I slept as usual but woke up too early. It felt as if a switch flipped. I was no longer depressed.

Then I started buzzing.

As of yesterday, I felt as if I were on speed, thoughts racing, unable to focus for long, easily distracted, irritable as all get out. I found myself chatting too much with friends online, saying too much, and having to self-censor nearly everything I wrote. I was even having to stop myself from picking fights, and I'm not that kind of person usually.

I'm on day three now (I know it's supposed to last for four days to be clinical) but the first episode lasted over three weeks.

Is it possible to discover you're bipolar at 60? Is is possible to have been unipolar all your life and then have this happen?

[madisgram]

i'm bipolar with the depressive side more dominant and about your age. in my limited research i have read bipolar can worsen as we get older. fortunately i don't fall into that grouping. hope you can get this sorted out. sounds like you are having mood swings, imho.

[blueoctober]

A person with BP doesn't necessarily need to be on anti-d's and without a mood stabilizer it can really be recipe for disaster (this is how I was diagnosed). I don' think my mood stabilizer (lamictal) or anti-d (wellbutrinxl) have affected my glucose level at all.

For a person with BPII the hypomanic episodes can be quite mild and not that noticeable. In my case prior to being diagnosed I thought the hypomania was me just being highly driven and then when I was depressed I assumed I was burnt out.

It may even be something as simple as a reaction to stress. I would suggest speaking to a Psychiatrist. You may even want to track your mood. I use this one online: http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker

[SueFL]

Originally Posted by madisgram

i'm bipolar with the depressive side more dominant and about your age. in my limited research i have read bipolar can worsen as we get older. fortunately i don't fall into that grouping. hope you can get this sorted out. sounds like you are having mood swings, imho.

Oh, I'm definitely having mood swings. What frightens me is the feeling of being on speed (I know the feeling because when I was a child amphetamines were prescribed for me two different times to aid weight loss) and being slightly out of control. I even made a major purchase I really can't afford right now and should have waited on for a couple of months.

I need to leash myself somehow. Thanks for your reply

[SueFL]

Originally Posted by blueoctober

For a person with BPII the hypomanic episodes can be quite mild and not that noticeable. In my case prior to being diagnosed I thought the hypomania was me just being highly driven and then when I was depressed I assumed I was burnt out.

It may even be something as simple as a reaction to stress. I would suggest speaking to a Psychiatrist. You may even want to track your mood. I use this one online: http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker

Thanks for this. You said something very important, about hypomanic episodes being quite mild. Looked at from that perspective, I may have been having them all along.

I'm a very driven person and always have been except when depressed. I'm one of those people others look at and remark, "How can you do all of that???" I just do. But doing it on three hours of sleep is definitely a recipe for disaster, and that's where I'm at now. My regular doc prescribed Klonapin some years ago for anxiety, giving me some leeway on dosage, and I upped it by a milligram yesterday. That helped me get some sleep last night. But it's wearing off and I'm buzzing again. Almost picked a fight this morning and partner talked me down, and now I'm back at the races.

Sadly, except for the irritability, it feels far better than depression. Hmmm.

[codeWeasel]

I'm right with you. I was treated as cronic depressive for 25 years until one day (at age 50) I tried yet another anti-depressant which sent me manic. Craziest 3 weeks of my life. I almost left my wife of 20 years and moved to London. Why London? I have no idea, it just sounded like a cool thing to do.

I too have been a very driven person in my work life, and during crunch time would easily work till midnight, and be back at it at 6am. At the time BP never occured to me. Looking back, its really obvious.

The important question for you (I would think) is why now? Sorry, can't help you there. But, mania is here and for planning purposes, you should count on having to deal with it. You say you can't afford a pdoc. On the plus side of being 60, AARP and other senior assistance programs might be able to help there. Since your feeling manic anyway, start researching. It always helps me get through the manias if I have something (preferably free) to do.

Always try to keep in mind that wether your up or down, it will pass. Sucks to be there, but it will pass.

Good luck to you, lots of great people here to help out.

[SueFL]

Originally Posted by codeWeasel

I'm right with you. I was treated as cronic depressive for 25 years until one day (at age 50) I tried yet another anti-depressant which sent me manic. Craziest 3 weeks of my life. I almost left my wife of 20 years and moved to London. Why London? I have no idea, it just sounded like a cool thing to do.

I too have been a very driven person in my work life, and during crunch time would easily work till midnight, and be back at it at 6am. At the time BP never occured to me. Looking back, its really obvious.

The important question for you (I would think) is why now? Sorry, can't help you there. But, mania is here and for planning purposes, you should count on having to deal with it. You say you can't afford a pdoc. On the plus side of being 60, AARP and other senior assistance programs might be able to help there. Since your feeling manic anyway, start researching. It always helps me get through the manias if I have something (preferably free) to do.

Always try to keep in mind that wether your up or down, it will pass. Sucks to be there, but it will pass.

Good luck to you, lots of great people here to help out.

Thanks so much. So it happens. Has happened. As for triggers... well, I went into a tailspin when I learned my pay was being cut by another 20%, and started trying to figure out how not to wind up on the street. And maybe the tailspin set it off. Good that it did, I guess, because I've got a deadline to meet, and depression was keeping me from it.

I look into resources.

[irfladyblue]

I too have major depression, they changed or should I say added unipolar to my DX. I don't have the manic highs and I have many things that trigger my lows that are out of my control. The last one that triggered mine was a assessment at the low cost service that I found out only allowed 6 visits. the meds don't do anything for me and I am trying to cope the best I can. I have little in ways of a support group use my cognitive thinking to the point of exhaustion in the thinking area. overwhelmed and overloaded. I take it one day at a time good and bad.

I don't have the funds for treatments as I am unemployed not eligable for help since I live with my retired father and our income is over the limit. Sucks to be me, but I have a roof over my head and some food to eat. when I was going to a pdr. he had me on vitamin and mineral supplements based on lab work and thought by his ( and his other patients results) studies, research and my lab results that it was a genetic ( he overloaded the lab that was doing the genetic testing for this) problem that was causing my system to keep from working properly.