[laur88]

So it's been a while since I've been on. So I thought I would update any of you who I've interacted with over these months of what's going on in my life.....

I was just on spring break, which was fun. My family and I went skiing. Basically, I got back to school in a highly anxious state because of a test I had the next day. I spend the majority of that Sunday night crying.... not good. The rest of the week stayed along those lines. I was an emotional mess, etc etc etc.

On Friday, one of my friends got in a car crash while I was in rehearsal (she's ok) but I was absolutely freaking out. On top of that, my roommate decided to throw a party in our room, without asking me if that would be ok. So I got really anxious about that. It ended up being fun, which was nice. Basically, this past weekend seemed like it was just what I needed: hung out with friends, got drunk (not too drunk, mind you) and had some good times.

But I find myself feeling anxious about upcoming events. I'm beginning to feel terror about due dates for things coming up and the date the show that I'm in opens. And then there's a guy I'm kind of dating... and I don't know what to think about him. And my friend who got in the car crash really needs help. And I'm annoyed with my roommate for a number of things.

Basically I am not coping. And this is definitely one of those times that I really need to be coping well.

Is this depression setting on? I've been so stable for the past 5-6 months... I've been able to cope with tests and papers etc. What happened?

HELP!!!

Also, I'm sorry if this is not totally clear and concise - I just took an ambien to help me sleep tonight (anxiety's been keeping me up)

[sugahorse1]

Hi Laur88. Thanks for the update.
You really have a lot of things on your plate right now. You need to simplify your life as much as possible, and do things that YOU need to do to remain stable. Also, don't waste your time and energy getting upset about things in the past that you cannot change, e.g. The party your room-mate had. Tell her what you expect from her in future, and leave it behind.
Relationships are hard work, but also rewarding. Do you have the energy and time, and are you in a state of mind to be going down this road right now? If you can work out if you love him, it will make the effort a lot easier to deal with.
I'm glad you've had some fun times- they really are necessary for us to cope with life in general.
It's taken me nearly a relapse to stop and smell the roses. To look after myself, because I'm worth it. If I don't, no-one else will.
Hang in there- you're moving ahead in leaps!

[laur88]

Thanks, Sugahorse. I'm trying to take things one step at a time... It's just gonna be a long couple of weeks. Rehearsals these days range from a minimum of 3 hours to 8 hours and I have a lot of school work coming up... I think I can handle it, as long as I don't have a ridiculously emotionally unstable week like last week. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge right now...

[Moose72]

I get out and do something just for me for a few hours when I get that overwhelmed feeling.

[BlackPup]

I was an undiagnosed BP when I went through uni, and it was a lot like you described!!!! (except more drinking....) the emotions were wild, huge amounts of stress and wild mood swings... (how did nobody diagnose me????)
My advice is to focus on what is in your control, what is in front of you, do the best you can then let it go. some planing for assignments and study would be good but try not to build up things into big problems.
You know you have BP so you know to monitor your moods, be careful with sleep and don't drink too much etc....
Taking some time to yourself to get your head back in shape is really important.