[Polly23]

I define myself first as a mom and a wife andnot being able to function well in these roles is very scary for me. However I Am also a health care professional and I Love my work caring for individuals and their families in very difficult situations. Somehow I mAnage extremely well at hiding my moods when I am at work, and this is one of the biggest reasons that I talk myself out of this diagnosis...I even have a really hard time saying that I am indeed bipolar. I chose not to tell anyone at work but live in constant fear that I will be exposed. I would be the first one to tell anyone and everyone that mental illness is something that is like any other illness such as diabetes etc. But I have only been officially diagnosed recently, and do not have an effective treatment plan yet. I know it may take a long time to get something that works, but this terrifies me. I am terrified to be hospitalized, but sometimes would just like to check in until things get stabilized. Does any one have any comments about issues related to work and taking time off. It is just not the same as taking time off to have surgery. I want to be an advocate for mental health, I refuse to be embarassed by it!!!! Help!

[Miss Laura]

Hey Polly and welcome to PC....

I too am bipolar and have spent months in denial... I was only diagnoised in Nov 2010 and I work with men who all have Autism. I worked with 2 guys who both had/have Bipolar. 1 has been hospitalised due to his. I felt ashamed when I was going through the diagnoisis process as I should of seen the signs etc but then I have to keep telling myself they have learning disabilities and autism... I don't!!

I don't have a good experience with work knowing about my diagnoisis actually off at the moment due to them thinking I am "unsafe" been off for nearly 3 months... which btw has caused me to be more ill than anything.

I use to tell my service users not to be ashamed by their Bipolar but I am ashamed and sometimes embarrassed at how people treat me and how I act when in a manic episode/depressive episode. My family do not know well my parents and siblings know and that is it. I am ashamed and I don't know how to "embrace" my Bipolar instead of "hiding" from it

[blueoctober]

Disclosing at work is a very personal choice and I would suggest weighing the pros and cons of it. I would also suggest that you wait until you're okay with the diagnosis prior to disclosing it (if you choose to do this). I have been open about my diagnosis at work and my personal life, but I agree it's not like letting people know that you have diabetes. The book in my signature has a good section on disclosing at work.

I found that educating myself on bipolar helped decrease the fear and anxiety I had about it. I hope you find this site supportive.

[Anneinside]

I had a very bad experience from disclosing at work. When I returned from a leave of absence I was required to sign a statement that I would not disclose my diagnosis or symptoms to faculty, staff or students before they would let me return. I was a professor.

[Polly23]

Thanks Miss Laura and blueoctober, (hey that is a really bad month for me too) it is true none of us should ever be ashamed. I am mostly just frustrated because my job is very demanding emotionally and although I do hide it very well at work, I come home and just need to tune out. Strangely enough this is another reason I keep saying...no I don;t have bipolar. Because of the extremely emotional work I do...perhaps things are just catching up with me. I feel very needed at work and I love what I do, and we all need to have a good work life balance, especially with this diagnosis.
Dear Anneinside, sorry about your experience, that is very difficult, sounds very unsupportive, hope you have some good outlets and other supportive people in your life.

[Polly23]

Hey blueoctober...by the way I had checked your blog in the past...it's really great!!! You are very insightful xo

[ladyjrnlist]

A medical condition is a medical condition. Work should treat you no differently if you need time off for it.

[vjdragonfly]

Hello Polly and to PC. I think the initial shock of a diagnosis is probably the hardest. Once you are able to come to terms with it, you will find it a bit easier. I've been diagnosed BP for a little over 2 years and still question at times if I wasn't miss diagnosed. You hear such bad things about it that one expects to be that bad. I just know being on my meds have changed me for the better. My family sees it and I see it. So I guess if the meds are helping that I must be BP. I really hope you find the right med cocktail quickly and are able to find some peace.

[Amazonmom]

I am a mom, wife, and nurse. I am lucky in that I have never had to take time off for bipolar....but it should be able to be handled quietly with few knowing at all if ever needed. I did manage to get docs at work to acknowledge that breastfeeding on meds is a mother's choice not theirs. woot for me!

HUGS to you!

[sugahorse1]

Hi and Welcome! I'm also still recently DX'd and it has taken me some time to get my head around it all.
I have only told my HR department about my dx recently, and have decided that for now, I don't want my management to know.
I have to still learn to take care of myself the same way I would if I was physically ill.
I drag myself into the office on bad days, when I ought to just take a day off. It is tiring at times, and it does drain you - but you can live a very successful and rewarding life regardless.

Hope to get to know you in the future

[Ryask]

For me, i work with mentally disabled children and adults, very mentally draining and stressful work. I had to take a leave for about a month and just used a medical leave. However when i came back my supervisor let me in on all these rumors flying around about me, and about how management thought i was off for no reason..since i didn't look physically ill. I chose to disclose to my supervisor, and i know this stuff gets around, i kind of think maybe i owed them an explanation, since before my leave i was calling in sick 2-3 times a week. So far it hasn't affected much...so nothing negative for me about disclosing.

[Polly23]

Thanks sugahorse! I love the pic of your horse.
It is hard to realize that it is a lifelong disorder, but with the proper treatment I am very hopeful. There are so many worse things that I could be going through right now.
So, no more feeling sorry for myself...one day at a time. Trying to be mindful of my emotions today as I am a little mixed today. Ay psych for the first time, he comfirmed diagnosis of BD2. So that's it...I have to say it now...I have bipolar.

[Eloise42]

There is still this huge stigma around bipolar and it doesn't help the way the termp gets bandied around in frankly offensive and inaccurate contexts.

In college I had a coworker react just about as badly and inappropriately as is humanly possible when she found out but when the powers got wind of it (Dean of students, human resources, disabilities coordinator, etc.) she pretty much got her comeuppance and then some.

In the US you are entitled to certain rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I found it helpful to familiarize myself with it.

So I've been pretty careful since then about who I tell. I've found that the more peaceful I am with my diagnosis the better that goes because it either keeps other people calm or I just cope with their stupid reaction better.

Self education helped me a lot, as did writing and that mood chart that someone just posted a link to.