[AbeIsAbe]

Anyone else been diagnosed with Mixed Episodes? if so, can you tell me how you usually feel and how long it lasts for you. I understand this can be different from person to person but I'm starting to wonder if that is what it is or if it is something else....

I feel mostly up but also have symptoms of depression. Its every single day and has been since the beginning of February. I had 2 days off where I felt oddly "normal" and then it was right back to this mildly to moderate mania AND mild depression. Sometimes I spike and hit what I consider to be my "extreme" mania (which I learned today pales in comparison to most of yours)...

Anyway... I'm trying to figure out if this is it for me. I believe that if you find the true diagnosis, you can find a medication that will work for you. So maybe the Geodon is not correct for me. Or will I never feel normal again for a long period. I'm starting to feel hopeless about this.

I'm just looking for some insight. It seems a lot of you have had bipolar for a long time and know how it works. I'm still extremely new to the game. Is this really my new life?

[Twisti]

Im no professional and hardly understand what ive got lol...but there is something called rapid cycling...maybe you can look up some symptons on that...I dont know...trying to help...I hope you can find some answers soon.

[cybermember]

My mixed episodes consist of mostly irritability, anger, mania and suicide ideation. Geodon and Lexapro are my friends. : )

[dragonfly2]

I had a mixed episode last fall. It lasted about two months and was the "agitated depression" variety. My mood and thoughts were very depressed, but I felt on edge, revved up and very irritable. I began taking Risperdal and it helped quite a bit. I've been on and off antipsychotics over the last ten years. Geodon may not be the right med for you. Are you on a mood stabilizer as well? Any antidepressants? Try not to lose faith - it can take a while to get the right mix of meds. And then things can change on you after a while and need readjusting.

Mixed episodes can be lengthy, as you seem to be experiencing, or they can be short and intense if someone rapid cycles. There are so many different ways people experience bipolar disorder, that it's a wonder how they decided it was all the same thing! If you haven't checked in with your pdoc recently, I would, just to let them know that you're not feeling much relief.

As for this being your "new life" and wondering if you will ever have long periods of feeling normal....like I said, it can take some time to regain your balance. It is a chronic illness that needs to be managed, sort of like diabetes. Eating well, avoiding drugs and alcohol, making sure you get enough (but not too much) sleep...all of these things can make a big difference. Mood charting is a good tool to use to help track patterns that you may not be aware of. People can have very long stretches of wellness, but also very frustrating periods of seemingly endless illness. From reading your other posts, it seems like you're in a better place than you were over the winter. Even though you're still not where you want to be, you are closer, and every little step counts. Be gentle and patient with yourself while you continue to heal.

If it's any consolation to you.....eight years ago I was one signature away from being sent to a State Hospital for six months. Five months later I was working full time, and continued to work for the next seven years. There were readjustments along the way, but overall I did very well for a long time. I came to the realization that, although I will always be bipolar, I will not always be sick.

Hang in there..it gets better.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by AbeIsAbe

... can you tell me how you usually feel and how long it lasts for you. ...

Abe, I rapid cycle (weekly at the moment) and my experience of symptoms is different with every change. I had a period of 6 months where the symptoms could best be described as mixed.

Sometimes it was like being super energised, foot flat driving, couldn't sit still, couldn't sleep without intense dreaming and frequent waking, hearing music when there was none, being intensely emotionally moved when there was music, yet feeling desperate and having visions of killing myself at the same time. I had quite a range of simple and complex hallucinations and delusions during that time.

Other times it was like being foggy and detached from what was going on, yet having acute sensitivity to sounds and movement. I had a very strong startle response. Some things in my thinking were lightning fast - seeing associations between things instantly, punning out loud before I had a chance to think about what I was saying, yet being unable to follow a conversation because my mind was chaotic. I didn't feel fast at all - I felt thoroughly confused. I had a feeling of being on a sagging fence of razor wire, where I could switch any second between laughing jovially and dropping into silence as I felt overwhelmed by a sense of doom and hopelessness.

I expect others will have had different experiences.

[geekinthepink]

I wouldn't really know but I really hope you find an answer soon!
Just sending out my love!

[AbeIsAbe]

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

. Geodon may not be the right med for you. Are you on a mood stabilizer as well? Any antidepressants?

Geodon is supposedly my new mood stabilizer. Which confuses me because I just looked it up on this site (I've looked it up on drugs.com before) and it's only supposed to be a short-term treatment for mania. He is taking me off the Lithium and plans for Geodon to be my main drug, along with Trileptal. I guess the real questions would be how much relief should I expect. Show I expect to be feeling much better? I'm starting to wonder why I am even bothering with the medication if its not fixing me. (Don't worry, I wouldn't discontinue a medication without notifying a doctor first) I just feel like it's no use if this is the only relief I am to get. I'm already close to the highest amount for Geodon. He told me that insurance companies wouldn't cover the next step above where I am at.

I'm starting to question if he even knows what he is doing or if he is just throwing ideas against a wall to see was sticks.

[dragonfly2]

I was on Geodon for quite a while. I used it for psychosis as well as my antimanic drug. I was on 160 mg. I was also on Lamictal (and still am), which is in the same class of drugs as Trileptal. Have you started taking the Trileptal yet? It sounds like you're still in the middle of some changes, so it may be too soon to tell how well you will respond to it.

The only reason I stopped taking the Geodon was because of sedation. I was working at the time and it was making it very difficult for me to get up in the mornings. If I split the dose and took half in the am, I'd be falling asleep at work. If it hadn't been for that, I would probably still be on it, so I'm fairly sure it's not uncommon for it to be used long-term.

[sugahorse1]

I get VERY agitated. Sometimes I'll go through periods of feel flat and numb. I will vary from hypomania to wanting to sleep all the time. I rapid cycle as well, so it's sometimes hard to discern between cycles and mixed episodes.

[AbeIsAbe]

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

Have you started taking the Trileptal yet? It sounds like you're still in the middle of some changes, so it may be too soon to tell how well you will respond to it.

I've been on Trileptal for a couple months. The only change I'm going through is coming off the Lithium. Increased my Geodon to 160mg 3 weeks ago.