[DelusionsDaily]

I am so not happy about it right now. The reason I am preparing is because 7/5-6 my pdoc and T almpst did and it has gotten alot worse since then. Ok so the reason I am not happy about it is because I was just in march 22-30 then took a leave and just started back to work beginning of june. I talk to T tomorrow on the phone and I will just mention it and hopefully be able to work Tuesday and I am off 10 days. I am to see her on Wednesday and she can do whatever she deems necessary. She know I wont fight her on it if she really thinks I need to go now. Just telling her it got worse is pretty much a guarantee she will because they both told me so but I refuse to let myself lie to them just because I really dont want to go. I am really pissed though that it is the second time in less 4 months. Poop...sorry just needed to vent.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Melissa,

How are you feeling now?

[DelusionsDaily]

Well I still dont like it but talked to T this morning and she is going to let me hold off on making the decision today and tomorrow and I can come in on my appt time wednesday morning to make the decision. She also said to come prepared to go to hospital from appt because she is almost certain that is what we will do. For her to say that when i know she has tried her darndest to keep me from going into the hospital again cuz she really didnt want that to happen.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Melissa,

Ok... how do you feel about your session on Wednesday? Do you think you need the hospital at the moment to get back on your feet?

[DelusionsDaily]

Thats where im torn because i know i need to go but i absolutely despise the idea of having to go or id just have taken myself this weekend...it was bad enough i should have. Im pretty sure based on the coversation with her today that I WILL be sent to the hospital some time during my appointment wednesday probably towards the end. Im so ready for the session wednesday regardless of what happens that I may not like(having to go to the hospital).