[probe droid]

Hi,

A woman and I fell deep in love and had a fantastic relationship for a few months, until recently when things started to go south and she started showing strong symptoms of bipolar disorder.

She went back and forth between being distant to wanting to talk about marriage. Last week she went from not wanting to see me or talk to me to holding my hand and kissing me within *hours*. She called off our relationship after the last episode, where she disappeared suddenly and also lied to me for the first time about where she went. I was hurt.

I have only just started reading about bipolar disorder. 1) Is it pretty normal for loved ones to receive this treatment? 2) I feel guilty for "getting out" of the relationship, but I have begged her to let me be a part of the healing process, and she refuses--I think because she's afraid of hurting me again. Is there anything I can do besides honor her wishes and pray?

Thanks.

[blueoctober]

Is she diagnosed/under treatment from a Psychiatrist?

I think it's important for you to take care of yourself and honor your own feelings. If you're having these issues after only 3 months of being together, she's probably not in a place to be in relationship.

For myself I had a relationship that we did the break up/get back together dance. Looking back on it my undiagnosed BP played a part in it, but underlying that was I knew he was someone that wasn't healthy for me.

Originally Posted by blueoctober

Is she diagnosed/under treatment from a Psychiatrist? ...

Blueoctober asks a very important question here. It's also a possibility that it may well be Borderline Personality Disorder from what you've described.
Hope she does end up letting you be part of the healing process. Even if she doesn't, does she seek it for herself?
that's a hard place to be...

[probe droid]

No, she is reluctant to meet with a psychiatrist. I am really hoping that the more severe symptoms she has been showing recently will change that, however.

I appreciate your comments. This has been a real eye opener for me, and I wish the best for everyone on these forums.

[lotusflames]

the only way she can get help is to see a psychiatrist. we could tell you loads of things on here but it might not be her

[sugahorse1]

Yup, a psychiatrist and meds will help. Maybe start by trying to get her to a therapist otherwise?
I made some bad decisions when I was undiagnosed and had a terrible relationship. The whole on/off thing
You need to lay down your requirements to her too. Don't get hurt in the process, especially if she won't accept professional help

[BlackPup]

Unfortunately you can't make someone want to get better....

[love2drum]

Probe Droid, you had a very lovely comment for "us", you obviously have a very genuine heart, (thank you, for all of us, BTW) and probably one of the very things that attracts her to you.....the others are so right, I'm sure....and she is probably trying to save you from herself...she knows all too well the hell she goes through and probably just wants to save you from it (very familiar to me- and commendable, a very, very unselfish move, especially when you can feel so needy) again, as was said here, you do have to check yourself and be careful not to become overwhelmed with her issues ....especially if she doesn't seek treatment. I would encourage her strongly to get help, that she can, with help, feel better and give herself a better shot at a more normal kind of life...at the least, I hope you can persuade her to come here? I am new, just joined yesterday (a true blessing to me) but, I find these people here extremely devoted to each other, as a sort of "family", and have welcomed me warmly. I also notice that honest advise is given...not just strokes to make someone "feel" better. I admire them for that. This is a truly great group of exceptional people.