Please help I've made a huge mistake!

Hi

I've just registered and I would really appreciate any advice anyone could give.

I first saw a psychiatrist about 8 years ago as I was suffering from a hypomanic episode. He mentioned Bi-polar but was not a formal diagnosis. I got better pretty quickly and was discharged after maybe 3 months of weekly sessions. I had no medication.

I went to another Psych 4 years ago now. I had a very premature baby who sadly died and was probably most likely suffering from grief - not really depression. I conceived another baby at this time who thankfully is very healthy and lovely. Again I had no medical treatment as I was either trying to conceive or preganant. I was monitored for a year and was absolutely fine for the whole year so was discharged. Again, Bi-polar was mentioned but I didn't think at the time that I had been formally diagnosed.

Last week I became aware that I was becoming increasingly "hyper". I wasn't sleeping much, had racing heart etc. I felt like I was on coke or speed to be honest. I was a bit scared and probably over-reacted by going to see my GP. She referred me to the "crisis" mental health team and gave me sleeping pills. The crisis team came to visit me and I caught up on my sleep and now I'm OK. I'm still feel a bit "anxious" but I'm absolutely fine. My boss is happy with my work, my husband thinks I'm fine etc.

Today a new psych came to see me and said I definitely have Bi-Polar. He said I need to inform the DVLA as my insurance will be invalid . He wants me to take mood stabilisers. There is no way I want to take a lifelong treatment for something that has only happened twice (8 years apart). I have had no instances of depression in the last 8 years either.

Whether I have Bi-polar or not (which I don't think I do) is irrelevant to me as I feel fully in control of my life and I'm happy living it as I am now. My husband is happy, family and friends are as are my work colleagues. The psych told me that whilst it was my choice "at the moment" whether or not to take the medication, if I get any worse he will decide for me and I will be admitted to hospital .

I am currently to "be monitored" - I'm not really sure what that entails. And I have to keep in touch with the crisis team.

I'm really scared now that I've opened a can of worms. I feel as though I am no longer in control over my own life and all I want is to "drop off the system" again. No-one knew I had bipolar before except for the mental health team. Even my own GP didn't know.

I guess what I want to know is:

1. Will DVLA or my insurers find out? (Doctor has said that he won't notify them). There is nothing wrong with my ability to drive AT ALL! I have been driving for 20 years - no accidents and not even any points on my licence. If I don't drive - I don't work. And if I don't work I will lose my home, my business - everything.
2. What will happen with this diagnosis? Will social services be informed? Will people want to assess my suitability as a parent?
3. How long will it be before I am discharged again?
4. Will there be any follow up checks done on me? Or is it likely that I will drop off the system again?

Sorry this is a bit rambling - just a bit panicky!

well you do have some valid concerns. BTW welcome to pc. if it were me i'd get a second opinion and be honest with the person you see. give the pdoc or therapist your history of the mood thing.
i don't know where u live but i find the remark about hospitlization in the future very inappropriate. it sounds threatening."The psych told me that whilst it was my choice "at the moment" whether or not to take the medication, if I get any worse he will decide for me and I will be admitted to hospital."
and how one visit with the psych can give you a diagnosis is beyond my scope of understanding!!
i don't know how you described how you felt at your gp's office. thus can't answer why you were referred to a crisis team. it sounds like you are living outside the U.S. who is DVLA? why must this be reported to your insurer?
can you give us more info?

Hey there Gingergirl72,

You have came to the right place, there are loads of folk here who are parents and can help you with that side of things.

I am thinking you are from the UK...???

If so... DVLA have to be informed just in case you have an accident etc from what I am aware of. I am a non-driver so double check that ok. I know my CPN told me he had a client who drove and was manic and he had to notify DVLA as he was a danger to himself and to others.

Pretty much a diagnosis is more relief sometimes. I have been on mood stablizer for 7 months now and although I am non-compliant at times it does work for me and keeps my mania and depression low. I go monthly to my GP and every 4-6 weeks to Psychiatry on top of that every 3 weeks I see my CPN.. Community Psych Nurse.

I don't think you will be "dropped off the system" as you will need to be monitored for a wee while just so they see your mental health is not diminishing.

Keep posting on here as we are all in the same boat at one time or another.

Hope this has helped even a wee bit ok!!

Madisgram,

DVLA- The Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency

The DVLA needs to know about certain illnesses/diabilities in case they interfer with your ability to drive/concentrate. My CPN told me if I drove he would need to tell DVLA as he has a duty of care as I can become reckless when I am manic. There is a list on the Direct.Gov.Uk website

this may help, ginger....
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/

I'm a mother, diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, and nobody has accused me of being a bad parent, or informed social services of my condition at all. So in that regard I think you're okay. I'm also not allowed to drive, but that's not something that bothers me, since unlike you I'm a terribly unsafe driver... I see things on the road that aren't there, which makes for an interesting experience.

You can explain to a pdoc why you need to drive... I don't think the DVLA will find out if your doctor has said he'll not tell them. But look into it.

The diagnosis is made using a checklist found in a diagnostic manual--the name escapes me. Hardly something that fits everyone. If I were you, I'd just not tell motor vehicles and move on unless you have another episode.

My dad is undiagnosed and functioning pretty well. He's adapted to a lifestyle to manage the illness while in a good marriage. He's also been a good parent.

I think if the episodes are that infrequent, then maybe seeing a doctor when it happens would be a better choice. Some therapy couldn't hurt either.

Hi and welcome

I am bipolar and looking back I can see now that I had some mood and energy swings for a couple of decades before I was diagnosed but I was usually high functioning so it took a long time to diagnose me. And in my particular case the mood swings got worse when I was perimenopausal. If your symptoms do not interfere with your life then as your doctor said you do not need meds. If they do become a problem you can deal with the meds then.

Here in the USA we are supposed to tell the Dept of Motor Vehicles if we have a mental illness and I tried but they were idiots. They kept telling me I couldn't drive a car if I had seizures and I kept saying, I don't have seizures, I have bipolar, but they didn't have a clue. Finally one of the employees marked out my yes answer to "do I have a mental illness" and marked the no answer. I thought well he did it, not me and laughed. It is frustrating how many people have such wild misconceptions about mental illness.

Whether you do or don't have a mental illness you are welcome here. This is a great group of folks.

Can you get another doctor? Because I agree that threatening to hospitalize you is inappropriate. I shudder to think of what would have happened if some of the mental health care professionals I've come into contact with were "in charge" of my treatment.

If you don't have a history of questionable parenting incidents or reckless driving anyone calling those things into question simply because of the word "bipolar" is being discriminatory.

Also there is a condition called cyclothymia which is basically a milder form of bipolar, it might be worth reading about to see if that seems to fit better.

Thanks for that Eloise. I've googled Cyclothymia and I don't think I have that either.

My friend came round last night and she was absolutely gobsmacked when I told her about the bipolar diagnosis. I have felt quite "hyper" for about 2 weeks now (that I've noticed). The only thing I've done which is supposedly down to my bipolar is spent a bit on Ebay. I'm not talking thousands and thousands though - maybe about £300 over a month and anout half of that was on things my daughter needed. It's hardly reckless behaviour! My friend has spent more than that and nobody has labelled her as bipolar. In fact every woman I know has spending sprees and £300 is a pretty modest amount.

No-one I know thinks that I have this. I know that I'm a bit "quirky" but who isn't? I've spoken to my family, friends, boss and even my ex-husband and none of them have ever noticed anything "odd" about me at all. Surely, if I had bipolar my behaviour would be a problem to them as well. The last instance of depression was when I had the twins 10 years ago and I'm hardly unique in getting post natal depression.

I just really really do not want this label. Apart from the driving (which is quite frankly ridiculous as I drive like an old lady - never ever go above the speed limit or drink drive or anything) I'm worried about the repercussions in other areas - such as social services, health insurance etc.

I would like to challenge this diagnosis but I'm worried that if I "anger" the original shtink he will section me. How would I go about getting a second opinion? What is the process for sectioning someone - is it just down to the judgement of one man?

I think you're right Eloise. I'm going to go and see my GP. I feel a lot better now as I've taken some kalms tablets. I think I've just been a bit stressed with work, money, life in general.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings

Glad that you're feeling a little better. I've got to be honest, I really think the doctor was wrong labelling you bipolar, and you've got every right to a second opinion. Someone would have noticed a problem, and your whole family are behind you. Hopefully you'll get this sorted out soon. And really ... don't worry about social services. They've never bothered me.

So, weather you fit the DSM IV's checklist for Bipolar or not, you do not indeed have a mental illness untill it interferes with your life; work, family, friends, something. I agree with someone elses comment about seeing a doctor when you have an episode, if they are so infrequent as 8 years. And, also, it seems like you are pretty insightful and willing to seek help when you have a problem. I would suggest that you don't let this incident interfere with your ability to seek help in the future if you need it. Good luck!

I have been diagnosed Bipolar in the USA for 20 years. No one said anything to ME about reporting to the Motor Vehicle Department. MOREOVER I am a Master's level Psychotherapist who did my post grad at Harvard. NOwhere have I heard of such a thing being compulsory unless you have seizures from meds or hallucinations that interfere with your driving! I think that Dr. was being abusive and trying to SCARE you into taking the meds. Whether you need them or not is a whole different issue, but his behavior was very arrogant and unacceptable. I'm very sorry this has happened to you!
Be Well;
Savage1

Unfortunately, he was right about the driving. I'm in the UK and if you've ever experienced mania or hypermania then you need to notify them and then can only drive if you've been stable for 3 months, and are taking prescribed medication, and need a letter from doctor to prove all this.

That's just not going to happen for me though as I'm not taking the medication. It's not worth it to me as I'm OK as I am really. I do need to drive though so I'm in a difficult position. The only solution as far as I can see is to try and reverse the diagnosis and I just don't know if this is even possible at the moment. Failing that then, yes, I will have to take the medication. I don't want to though as I think they sound very dangerous. I have a family history of high blood pressure and heart disease and I've had numerous kidney infections.