[Kmbpeace1171]

Hi. Has anyone experienced this before? Things are going so well in life right now in this moment and I am having a lot of anticipatory anxiety that any moment now something really bad is going to happen. a year and a half ago I gave up my job in Buffalo, my treatment providers, my insurance, my support network, my pets, my apartment and all of my family who lives in Buffalo, NY and I packed up my stuff and moved to Colorado on impulse. My friends were visiting me from colorado in Buffalo, saw where I wasliving which was on the West Side a very rough area and asked me to stay with them in Colorado until my disability came thru, which it did after having a hearing and 3 hospitalizations in Colorado.
Amonth ago I took my lump sum money that I recieved and moved into my own apartment in Colorado Springs after almost 2 years of struggling with decision about moving back to buffalo or not. WHen I lived in Buffalo I hadnothing but slumlords who treated me really badly, never fixed anything, blamed for things that went wrong when it was the result of old property and piping etc, I was sexually harassed and everything by both the Husband and Wife landlords, anyways I am in a real apt complex now that has email so u can email a service request if something is wronga nd they will fix it at day and time u specify as good for u I NEVER get yelled at and blamed anymore. It almost feels too good to be true, my fear is that a year and a half from now when social security reviews my case I am going to lose my benefits and my beautiful new home. Thanks for listening.

[dal37]

Originally Posted by Kmbpeace1171

Hi. Has anyone experienced this before? Things are going so well in life right now in this moment and I am having a lot of anticipatory anxiety that any moment now something really bad is going to happen. a year and a half ago I gave up my job in Buffalo, my treatment providers, my insurance, my support network, my pets, my apartment and all of my family who lives in Buffalo, NY and I packed up my stuff and moved to Colorado on impulse. My friends were visiting me from colorado in Buffalo, saw where I wasliving which was on the West Side a very rough area and asked me to stay with them in Colorado until my disability came thru, which it did after having a hearing and 3 hospitalizations in Colorado.
Amonth ago I took my lump sum money that I recieved and moved into my own apartment in Colorado Springs after almost 2 years of struggling with decision about moving back to buffalo or not. WHen I lived in Buffalo I hadnothing but slumlords who treated me really badly, never fixed anything, blamed for things that went wrong when it was the result of old property and piping etc, I was sexually harassed and everything by both the Husband and Wife landlords, anyways I am in a real apt complex now that has email so u can email a service request if something is wronga nd they will fix it at day and time u specify as good for u I NEVER get yelled at and blamed anymore. It almost feels too good to be true, my fear is that a year and a half from now when social security reviews my case I am going to lose my benefits and my beautiful new home. Thanks for listening.

well i hope things with your SS goes well, but i was in cheyenne wy for almost 2 years. my wife is still there now and i will be coming back there after this tour here. but anyway i spent 3 months in Co Springs and i must say i loved it there. i also have family in Buffalo which is a nice area too. i must agree, though, my choice would be Colorado. just my opinion

[ladyjrnlist]

I've had the "this must be too good to be true" moments. Just remember that you deserve good things like everyone else does and savor the moment because, as we all know, bad stuff will happen again eventually. Enjoy the break from the BS!
Colorado Springs is fabulous. I want to go back some day. Lived there as a kid for several years. I hope you have a great time there.

[Kmbpeace1171]

Hi guys ty for writing back. I really like colorado I will always miss buffalo tho, i grew up there Daniel r u in the military. HUGS.

[Kmbpeace1171]

Thanks for writing back, things are going well. Daniel r u in the Military? I love Colorado Springs.

[Kmbpeace1171]

Hi guys thanks for writing back. I love Colorado SPrings too, its really beautiful here. Daniel r u in the military?

[mrcherryred87]

Originally Posted by Kmbpeace1171

Hi. Has anyone experienced this before? Things are going so well in life right now in this moment and I am having a lot of anticipatory anxiety that any moment now something really bad is going to happen.

My girlfriend who is bipolar has those moments. In fact she's dealing with it right now when it comes to our relationship. I am one of the first nice guys she's been with and she feels like things are just too good to be true. She's also afraid she's going to mess it up. I will share with you the same thing I try telling her. Live in the moment and try not to think things are too good to be true. You deserve the good things! I know it's hard to believe sometimes but it's true!

I get those feelings too - like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I work at trying to stay "in the moment" and enjoy the present.

I hope that helps!

[Kmbpeace1171]

Originally Posted by dal37

well i hope things with your SS goes well, but i was in cheyenne wy for almost 2 years. my wife is still there now and i will be coming back there after this tour here. but anyway i spent 3 months in Co Springs and i must say i loved it there. i also have family in Buffalo which is a nice area too. i must agree, though, my choice would be Colorado. just my opinion

Hi was just wondering if u r in the Military, ty for responding.

[WendyAussie]

My Gawd I relate to everything you said. I too got a settlement but this enabled me to move away from a town and family that was a terrible situation and I too had Slum Lords - they exist in Australian Country towns too!! lol

My apartment is great (I had some renovations done), my neighbours are great, I love where I live and failing meeting Prince Charming, I will live here for many years to come, maybe the rest of my life.

But something bad HAS happened since I got here. I made a 100% cut from family as they are so toxic and would you believe (I am a Beeper with other psych illnesses and also a 12 years sober alcoholic in AA) it, but in one of my earliest AA meetings in this new town, in walks one of my brothers, who is an alcoholic and addict who hasn't been able to get sober and clean as well as an untreated person with mental illness and he is aggressive, violent, completely unable to control his emotions. I am terrified him and it threw me into PTSD, actually CPTSD and it's been so hard. He's away in Long Term rehab now thank God - for him and for me. Truly, I wish he'd just move away forever - I wish him the best, but I wish he'd go away.

I also have the Social Security issue. It's called Disability Support Pension in Australia and our Government has just made massive announcements that they are going to push people off the pension onto work and it they don't go, they will partially or completely cut the pension. I have tried to go back to work, to study, to volunteer. I was in a high end career until 4 years ago when I got the boot due to the fact that I couldn't do my work due to my mental illnesses. I went from a high salary, to 20% of that, so I am hardly a "bludger" - if I could be working I would - I did heaps of post Secondary study to get my career. I have no idea how I would live if they took my pension away as I have not a single person to fall back on.

But I guess as has been said, on both the issue of my brother, and also the Pension, I need to live by AA mottos and live in the day and practise not projecting into the future.

[Kmbpeace1171]

Originally Posted by jadedmoonbeam

I get those feelings too - like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I work at trying to stay "in the moment" and enjoy the present.

I hope that helps!

Actually that really helps a lot I use that too, best tool I was ever given from DBT group I went to. Have a great day.

[Kmbpeace1171]

Originally Posted by WendyAussie

My Gawd I relate to everything you said. I too got a settlement but this enabled me to move away from a town and family that was a terrible situation and I too had Slum Lords - they exist in Australian Country towns too!! lol

My apartment is great (I had some renovations done), my neighbours are great, I love where I live and failing meeting Prince Charming, I will live here for many years to come, maybe the rest of my life.

But something bad HAS happened since I got here. I made a 100% cut from family as they are so toxic and would you believe (I am a Beeper with other psych illnesses and also a 12 years sober alcoholic in AA) it, but in one of my earliest AA meetings in this new town, in walks one of my brothers, who is an alcoholic and addict who hasn't been able to get sober and clean as well as an untreated person with mental illness and he is aggressive, violent, completely unable to control his emotions. I am terrified him and it threw me into PTSD, actually CPTSD and it's been so hard. He's away in Long Term rehab now thank God - for him and for me. Truly, I wish he'd just move away forever - I wish him the best, but I wish he'd go away.

I also have the Social Security issue. It's called Disability Support Pension in Australia and our Government has just made massive announcements that they are going to push people off the pension onto work and it they don't go, they will partially or completely cut the pension. I have tried to go back to work, to study, to volunteer. I was in a high end career until 4 years ago when I got the boot due to the fact that I couldn't do my work due to my mental illnesses. I went from a high salary, to 20% of that, so I am hardly a "bludger" - if I could be working I would - I did heaps of post Secondary study to get my career. I have no idea how I would live if they took my pension away as I have not a single person to fall back on.

But I guess as has been said, on both the issue of my brother, and also the Pension, I need to live by AA mottos and live in the day and practise not projecting into the future.

Hi ty for writing back to me, I relate, I too am a college educated woman with two college degrees worked in the Mental Health Field as a Practitioner and a Benefits Adviser for over ten years. This new life is a total new thing for me and I must say I am enjoying having recovery from bipolar depression panic with agoraphobia being my main focus now , for the first time in my life I feel like I am taking care of ME Have a great night.

[WendyAussie]

Kmbpeace1171, yes, as much as it is an isolated and lonely life, I do have the time to go to from multiple mental health consults to multiple medical consults - I do the circuit nearly every week!! lol. I have no idea how I did all that while I was still working - my career was full tilt all the time (PR Manager), except of course in the end, when I could do nothing at all. Well actually I do have an idea and it's called MANIA, which has a shelf life and them you fall over and go BANG!!

I haven't worked for 4 years and I still miss it terribly. A PR/Comms/Media career does have many tranferrable skills though - even in just managing daily life and communicating with medical and mental health practitioners, some of whom I feel like I am speaking Swahili with. I will continue to try to study (I made a try last year and had to bail and am enrolled to start next semester in something else (in Aus our Adademic year goes by Calendar years so it's a 2nd Semester enrolment), but I have severe sleep problems , which are starting to be unravelled by an excellent specialist (had a sleep study done this week), after months in this town I am now only getting bedded down with mental health clinicians (it's been a complex mess and I've been sent up endless blind alleys) and I have a massive foot problem which will limit my mobility - and the Uni campus is very big but has endless sets of stairs that have to be navigated.

I am also going off 800mg Seroquel (down to 400mg now) and there are alll sorts of implication from that - one being a positive one that I have already lost 12 kg, yes 12 kg, just from starting to go off Seroquel and that's only over a matter of weeks with no exercise. So as of 22 May, with Uni starting 1 August, methinks I'll have to bail on this course too, at least for the near future. There's no way I can handle everything, and of course other hard life issues as well and start at Uni.

Oh well, go with the flow.