[larakeziah]

Hi all, yesterday a family friend died. We all knew it was going to happen as he had been very poorly. When I found out however, I didn't and still haven't cried. I don't even feel sad and I still don't. In fact I don't feel anything at all for anyone or anything. Is there something wrong with me. I used to cry when anyone died and at films and stuff but I don't even remember the last time I cried. I just don't seem to be able to. I feel dead inside. Whats wrong with me???

[beauflow]

I am no professional but I do not think anything is wrong with you
From time to time with sad things I do what you are discibing of not crying not feeling to cry or be sad- I feel nothing or "dead like" in side.. I sometimes have trouble with information sinking in.
May be right now is not your turn to cry- but do know it is ok to cry and it is good. I know emotions can be hard.
Maybe it is a bit of denial or maybe it is just processing still? I am not sure

I hope someone else can give you better clarification on this- As I said no expert to anything but i do know where you are coming from

[porcupine2]

I'm sorry to hear about you losing someone you cared for. As for feelings, you can't force them, they are what they are. With bipolar and especially depression, one can feel flat. I've gone for weeks like that - not really feeling one way or another, just existing. The only way I survive it is to know that this phase too shall pass. It's like a long dark hallway that goes on forever until you finally find the doorknob. Just take one step at a time and don't feel guilty for what others think you should be feeling. Keep posting and sharing - you are among others just like you & never alone

[larakeziah]

Thank you both! I do often feel this why but I just wish I could make sense of it. Often I too feel like i'm just existing and not really living. Like i'm just going through the motions of everyday life but life is passing me by! I just feel numb.

[mgran]

There is nothing wrong with my brother, and he reacted in exactly the same way when our mother died. He was numb for years... it finally only hit him when his first daughter was born. Sometimes in order to protect us from intense emotions a wall gets put up between the event and teh emotional response. That could be what's causing the numbness.

Of course another possibility is that you're over medicated... I don't know what meds you're on, so it's not for me to say, but you could perhaps mention this to your doctor.