[NuckingFutz]

Living with my sister and brother-in-law and my nephew who is cognitively challenged...yup, I guess that's what they call it these days.

I'm pretty stable right now, but if I have an episode, I would feel better knowing my nephew knew about my bipolar. Was told he has the mind of an 8 year old in a 20 year old body.

I was just really wondering about this because if I wasn't as stable, someone would have to explain it to him or just tell him to shut up (like they usually do when they don't want to bother explaining something to him). I really don't want that to happen.

I gave my sister a paper on bipolar for family and other people who support people with bipolar. I guess she went ahead and read the wrong thing because she said "I'm afraid that you will go into the kitchen and get a knife and come upstairs and threaten my family". Maybe she read something on psychopathy because what she said, wasn't one of the symtoms of bipolar.

I know they haven't explained it to him because he wanted to know why I take all the medicines I take. Wouldn't it be the responsibility of my sister and brother in law to have a talk with him?

Also, somehow, they have assumed that all my friends are bipolar and I don't know where they got that ideal. They also want to know WHY all my friends are bipolar (they are not). They can't understand why I would have a bipolar friend because "they are like, you know, blaah" (my sister's words and they hurt). They also want to know why bipolar is central to my life (I don't think it is and therefore can't understand the question).

My brother in law also says I should throw out all my meds. He is very controlling of everyone under his roof except for his wife who he treats well. Had I known him better, I wouldn't have moved in with them. This was to help me get a fresh start in life and yet, this is the 8th worst city in the US to start fresh.

I wanted to start my company and I don't understand why he can say that I can't start it because I live under his roof. I'm totally dependent upon him so for now, I will put it aside.

I've decided to file the 501(c)3 non-profit paperwork at night to start getting grant money to feed pets of the poor. I think I have a faster chance of getting out of here using my company, than to spend months sending out resumes.

I know this is a long rant, and if you are still reading this, bear with me. I know I covered a lot of different things.

Any support or suggestions or answers would help.

[Tsunamisurfer]

If it affects him he may be helped by having it lovingly explained in a way he can understand. As you have seen in your sister and brother in law, it can be difficult enough for adults to grasp. And it doesn't seem like they are ready to give him a non-stigmatized appraisal of bipolar.

[ladyjrnlist]

Hey NF. Remember that you don't know for certain what he might have already bee told and he could have been told something that is incorrect. Telling him the truth could cause even more tension among your family members.
And, if you are like the bipolars I know and love, and I think you are, you aren't any danger to anyone. He might just see it as really happy or really mad or sad.
For those who say bipolar isn't real, let them walk a day in the shoes of those of us who have it.
Does it consume our lives? Not at all. But it is a large part of our lives because we have to medicate and remain mindful of our stresses and our moods.
Tough titters to those who don't get that, I say.
I hope your non-profit works out so you can get out of that house soon. I think it will help you a lot.
Hugs.

[Direction]

I would think that if you were up and down and all around...your nephew might benefit from a brief talk...but I'm thinking about how different I talk to my 9 year old daughter versus my 13 or 15 year old sons...If your nephew asks about your medication...simply, direct, honest answer is the way to go...These prescriptions from the doctor help me stay well...so this sets up the understanding that you are seeing a doctor and your taking medications that were prescribed to keep you well. Also they may have explained things to your nephew...doesn't mean he understands and can make the connections as to why you take med's

Assuming the paper you gave your sister didn't mention anything about homicidal tendency...then she is simply telling you her fear...she doesn't understand bipolar if she makes that leap...but you will just need to help her understand that bipolar does not equal homicidal tendencies...

Central to your life...who cares if it is? If you had cancer, the treatment of it would be central to your life...wouldn't it? My mom had a brain tumor removed...tomorrow will be her 1 year survivor anniversary. Let's just say that it has been a tremedous focus. Physical things like this seem so much easier to understand.

I would continue after the job...if you are being fully supported by your sister's family it would be nice for them to see progress...work on the 5013c in your spare time...Start with a volunteer job or increase tasks you complete at there house. Make a goal of sending out x resumes and completing y interviews each week. If your not attending groups, find a program ... network with others...

Hopefully you'll find this helpful

[mgran]

I don't think you have to tell your nephew... I don't plan on telling my nieces until they're old enough to understand, and not be worried about it. Actually, I'll leave it up to my brother, if and when he wants to share the truth. I suppose it's up to the parents really, but I'd talk to them about it... it may not be in your nephew's best interest.