[Miss Laura]

Me again- sorry!!

Seriously,

I apologise all the time.

"Sorry for being BP"
"Sorry for doing something stupid"
"Sorry for being depressed"
"Sorry for not being a good enough friend"
"Sorry for losing my losing my job"
"Sorry I go off meds"
"Sorry my friends don't get me"

Why though? I can not stop apologising and it's annoying the hell out of me tonight/this morning. I apologised to a friend last night for being self centred and not asking how she is.... then I thought about it and realised she has not once asked how I am coping, or how I am feeling, or in fact how I am surviving since being sacked. Grrrrr!!!!

Is it a BP thing where we MUST apologise at any given chance?

[wing]

Nope, not a BP thing...I save "I'm sorry" for the big things which in my opinion, are the losses in another person's life.

[eskielover]

I do it too & it's not a BP thing in me. I always felt that it was easier to say I was sorry & smooth over a situation then to let it accelerate into something huge. It reminds the others that there is a problem & at least triggers their mind in that direction....when it something someone else has done, I end up hoping to jiggle a thought in their mind of the problem & hopefully their mind will realize they are a part of the problem also & get an apology out of them also while apologies are flying around. Many times that doesn't happen....but it keeps the wars at bay.

[cheeri]

I do it, too. Never assumed it was associated with bp either. Others have noticed and said something before. I think mine is due to my evil stepmother blaming everything on me. Evaluate other insecurities that could be leading to self-deprication.

[sugahorse1]

I do too - I've been thinking for a while; as much as I don't like to believe it, it appears to be a self-esteem issue. And me being a perfectionist - I'm really setting too high expectations for myself, and apologise when things don't work out to my standards

[Direction]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

"Sorry for being BP"
"Sorry for doing something stupid"
"Sorry for being depressed"
"Sorry for not being a good enough friend"
"Sorry for losing my losing my job"
"Sorry I go off meds"
"Sorry my friends don't get me"

I'm not positive where this comes from...but I would guess self esteem as these phrases you used seem to be trying to apologize for being you.

Example: I'm sorry for being BP vs I'm sorry I couldn't stay focused yesterday on the movie, I know you really wanted to watch it together.

The first one leaves me with the conotation that I'm sorry for being me something I can't change...the second leaves me with the conotation that I'm sorry for a specific action.

Apologies should be as specific as possible anyway otherwise it sounds insincere.

Hope this helps!

[Forgive77]

I apologize all the time too. That's where I am right now. I've just given everyone in my family the book that everyone keeps talking about. I'm going to read it too.

[Forgive77]

"Living with Someone who is Living with Bipolar Disorder" by Chelsea Lowe, 2010

[Miss Laura]

Thanks guys,

OK... I am thinking it is my self-esteem that is causing all of this. Apologising to my friends doesn't mean anything to them as I say it so often.

[ladyjrnlist]

For me, it was a self-esteem thing for sure. I've stopped doing it so much and actually get more respect from people.

[Miss Laura]

Ye LadyJrnlist,

How do you stop doing it though? It's such a habit I have gotten into

[ladyjrnlist]

I had to be very conscious of it and actually stop myself from saying it before it came out. You probably know the times when you are most likely to start apologizing, so pay attention then and think if you really need to apologize for something or if you just feel like you do.
Most of the time, I should think you really have nothing to be sorry for, so you shouldn't need to say it often.

[Miss Laura]

I seem to say sorry more for upsetting people when I don't follow plans like my routines, taking meds etc that seems to really pee people off and I will apologise like mad and say I won't do it again.... but will do it again in time grrr!!

[ladyjrnlist]

Try saying something like "I'm trying" or "I'll do better"

[Miss Laura]

Good thinking.... will try them, just want them to know I am sorry but I can't help being me at the moment. So that would probably better "I am trying" "I will do better"

Thanks LadyJrnlist

[ScooterBug]

I don't apologize unless it's something major. The people around me know my condition and I always urge them at least Google it!! If they get mad at me over something small and never even bothered educating themselves, then that's on them!

I do it too. We talked about this in group therapy, but I can't remember what was said exactly. But it did go along the lines if self esteem. I know when I was a kid it was pretty much taught to us by our parents. Hard thing to stop doing but I'm trying to stop. For me I know I feel guilt over even tiny things which drives the appologies. Growing up my parents used a lot of guilt tactics on us. So I think it can be a learnt behavior as well as a self esteem issue.

[dejavu65]

I agree with Anika. I think it has a lot to do with self esteem for a lot of people. I am constantly apologizing too. I try not to ... but it is being said before I realize it.