First night home alone in a long time.... and it' really quiet. It' also med-bed time. I feel like no sleep. I feel like no seroquel. I feel like man I could get a lot of cleaning done, things I don't get to often like window sills baseboards, cupboards and drawers, and patio doors.

Or I could take a boring seroquel, and have some boring sleep, sleep in late, have a hangover, feel retarded for tomorrow and then have it take me 4 hours to clean a small bathroom.

Hardest choice I've had in a few days, man my life is

I always want to stay up, but I always behave, and am otherwise a very good little girl.

I'm gonna cut loose and stay up all night and detail the remote controls. I'm soooo outta control. Hope the neighbors don't call the p-o-lice

hmm, someone made my childhood into an emo-con -->

[sugahorse1]

Try find a balance; maybe a Seroquel every second night? To allow you some decent sleep
Are you doing ok otherwise? I'll be online for the next 4 hours, so I can keep you company :-)

[Direction]

Remember..."opposites" of what we feel...ok?

Love that feeling that I can get everything done but I feel guilty when I don't take my meds....I am seriously such a goody two shoes when it comes to that stuff.

hmm, someone made my childhood into an emo-con -->

Very clever

[madisgram]

when my meds balanced me out i told my T i was bored. with our highs, life can be exciting but in the end not helpful to us. too much drama, conflicting thoughts and poor decision making, etc. but i was accustomed to it, thus bored when all that balanced out. as i stayed "balanced" i found life was exciting enough.

[wing]

I enjoyed what I assume is a tongue-in-cheek post. You have a great sense of humor. Thank you for the smile.

Well I didn't take the seroquel, I don't know about that med. I have never liked it. Even at a smaller dose I feel like either a zombie, or this weird feeling of this energy inside just building, but no way to release it. Like a wild horse being tied down is what it feels like to me.

Sugarhorse, thanks for that, very kind of you.

Thanks guys, I just get tired of being good all the time, and if the worst thing I'm going to do is clean my house, I feel I can indulge a little. I did take my meds this morning

p.s. It really did take me 4 hours to clean the bathroom yesterday. I'm just gonna start referring to this phenomenon as quelness.

[Miss Laura]

Anika,

I know how you feel I take 75mg at night which is pretty much nothing compared to some people out there and even I don't want to take it most of the time and have the buzz you talk about in your original post. I would love to have your energy too lol

[Flooded]

I soooooooooo understand the need to rebel.

It's so strong in me and I can't seen to reign me in sometimes.

[Miss Laura]

I do it more when I get into trouble for it.... which I know is really bad but as soon as someone in a "higher" position tells me NOT to do something in regards to BP I immediately want to do it lol

[SmilingMask]

I was there just last week; wanting to clean things that just don't even matter- I loved your reference to cleaning the remote- bouncing off everything- now I'm down- nothing gets done. The only good thing about "down" is I don't hear voices or see things but I do become harsh on myself- reliving situations that I could've changed from days ago or even years ago. I don't know what's worse......