[Butterflies Are Free]

I need some advice about dealing with my shame around my BP Disorder.
I feel like people can see it stamped on my forehead and that I am less than other people. Any advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

[William Werner]

It is important to remember that being bipolar is a part of who you are not who you are. Being bipolar does not make you less of a person anymore than having diabetes or lupus or cancer makes you less of a person. Live life the way you want to because people are going to judge you no matter what you do or do not do, so go out and do what makes you happy.

[Anneinside]

Originally Posted by stephyofoz1

I need some advice about dealing with my shame around my BP Disorder.
I feel like people can see it stamped on my forehead and that I am less than other people. Any advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

If you aren't seeing a therapist or psychologist then start as they can help with those feelings. I still feel some embarrassment and ask why I don't work I say I have a chronic problem. You would be amazed how many people assume it is a back problem. If they press me I say depression keeps me from being able to work which is true...it wasn't the mania. My hair is turning white and I am almost 56 so soon I might start saying I took early retirement. Finally I don't like to tell people I have Bipolar because there are so many misconceptions about it although I have spoken at Nami groups on bipolar without embarrassment. Remember, not everyone needs to know.

I sometimes still feel that way, but usually only when I am manic or an having psychosis. When I am experiencing psychotic symptoms and have to go out in public I feel like every one can tell I'm hearing things or seeing things.

For me really truly accepting myself and accepting my illness was key for me to get over the shame. I worked on this in therapy and group therapy as well on my own. Along with self confidence building.

When I have decided to share my diagnosis with a select few, the response has always been " Really, I would have never had guessed ". Just goes to show our perception of how others see us can be way off.

Anneinside, I'm in a very small city and I frequent the same stores coffee shops ext.. The inevitable question of "What do you do for work?" always comes up, I always say early retirement, or I joke that I am an heiress to the Hershey's Co. Really I am on disability and am 32, so early retirement is basically true, but I look a little young for retirement.

[Rhino_65]

I share your same thoughts on this. I find it difficult to make friends because I feel like I am always being scrutinized. After every conversation I analyze it in my head and feel extreme embarrassment that I made a fool of myself.

My most recent plan is to join a local support group and this support group to find friends with BPD that will be less judgmental of me.

[dragonfly2]

This link was originally posted by another member (thanks ScooterBug!), but I wanted to share it with you here. Even though some of these people's stories didn't end well, the majority of them are inspiring and you will be surprised at who is listed. We are in good company and have much to offer the world.

[DamianV]

Originally Posted by stephyofoz1

I need some advice about dealing with my shame around my BP Disorder.
I feel like people can see it stamped on my forehead and that I am less than other people. Any advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

I'm sorry but i'll have to respectfully disagree with William Werner.
How you feel about your disorder depends on the extent to which you identify
with your disorder.
If who you are heavily identified with your mental illness then it will have a negative impact on you.
If you don't identify with your mental condition then you could give a ***** less.
If you identify with what other people think then..... you get my point.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Thanks to all who responded. I am able to see a therapist and have been working on this issue of shame, which does help. There is a support group in my area and I am going to start going next week. I think this might also help.

[Beauty From Despair]

What a great thread! Thanks to all who posted. I am working through a lot of shame myself with a fairly new (2-yr-old) diagnosis of BP2 with severe depression. I am learning that people who have mental illness may suffer more than "others" but we have more beauty, compassion, and depth to offer as well. I made a list of all the things I like about myself and read it when I'm down.

[Hope_Walker]

Originally Posted by stephyofoz1

I need some advice about dealing with my shame around my BP Disorder.
I feel like people can see it stamped on my forehead and that I am less than other people. Any advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

If it means anything I rather feel regret about not letting myself be diagnosed and getting treatment earlier. It also seemed for a while like people could see right through me when I was starting my medication but it's been surprising to learn how little they seemed to pick up on, and perhaps even clueless.

In fact outside of those working in psychiatry and psychology I've found that very few others, including highly qualified people, seem to notice anything. If anything they're too self conscious about their own fears and thoughts about what others think about them.

[Beauty From Despair]

I just posted something similar to this in the BPD forum. When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis it was a blow to my self esteem. I felt like my identity was a sick person. Then I learned to look at it as that I am a basically healthy person who happens to have RA. I am learning to do the same with MI. I am a valuable, worthwhile, fun, loving person with a lot to offer who happens to have a couple of psych diagnoses. It's not *who I am* it's just a part of my life and history. IMHO people with MI are more sensitive, compassionate, and insightful b/c of our pain. Hope that helps.