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#1
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I've always been pretty honest with bf. So today i txt him my last secret. I came clean about the voice in my head,the 1 that always tries to break us up (and has succeeded 3 times) the risperidone shut her up,but she showed up today anyway,and was upset that i outed her. Point to post? All i did was worry the poor man,and cried for hours b/c i thought he didn't want me anym0re (he spoke to my sis so N0W i know the truth) i just spent hours crying over a break-up that never happened... I don't even know why i'm posting this BS...
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#2
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I know why are you posting, I am sending a huge hug. And post more if you need it.
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#3
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Awww Trippin!! *hugs* ... I know that feeling!! Sometimes I keep some of my "secrets" to myself but feel awful when something happens and my hubby is clueless.
I think it took guts and love to say that to your bf and I think in the long run, he will love you and appreciate you for it!! I am sure everything is ok now and maybe now you have an added support for your secret fear that you didn't even count on having!! ![]()
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"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe ![]() ~Charlie Brown |
#4
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
#5
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take a break. relax. recoup. get some air. it will be okay. trust me. it will all be okay - stay strong and live
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#6
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I know that feeling all too well. :[ Sadly the only thing of comfort I can possibly offer you is a hug.
![]() ![]() ![]() By the way, I don't think your post is BS. It's better to get things like these off of your chest. Thanks for sharing <33
__________________
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho |
#7
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#8
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Well, you should be happy that the break-up never happened, eh?
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"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King Dx Bipolar II Med-free for the time being |
#9
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So ashamed. Don't know how i will look him in the eye again. Maybe i should've kept quiet,it's enough knowing i'm a freak,didn't have to spread the word...
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#10
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Trippin...
![]() I told my long term bf about the voices and seeing things after quite a while of being together. Then I thought why the hell did I do that. Sooo ashamed and mortified. He was taken back by it, and scared. He did stick around, and he is not scared anymore, he tries to understand. I still feel ashamed sometimes, but I try to be honest with him about it, and he tries to listen better and be a shoulder for me. All I am saying is I understand. I hope with some time you'll start to feel a bit better about this. I also hope that maybe now you will be able to have a little extra support in that area. Try not to beat yourself up over it tho. ![]() |
#11
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Thanks but i think it was a futile exercise. While my bf has always been supportive,he's withdrawn now because he doesn't want me to be too dependent on him. He wants me to be self-sufficient. I just think he's cold and unfeeling... But then again,idk if thats my thought or 'hers'...
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#12
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His silence is KILLING me. Guess why i haven't swallowed every effing pill i own? Guess?
B/c my daughter would find my cold limp body! Nice reason to be alive! NICE! I'm tired! Tired of fighting these damn urges, tired of fighting for some semblance of normalcy, TIRED! Grrr |
#13
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It's very hard, whether as patient or caregiver, to cope with a mental illness. Maybe it would help to meet with bf and t/pdoc to allow your bf to express his feelings and have his questions answered.
I am glad you haven't swallowed those pills, but I think the fact that you are considering it means that you need to see t/pdoc for yourself too.
__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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