[HelloClarice]

long story short, i got arrested for shoplifting. which of course i know is stupid, wrong, illegal etc. and i also know that no matter what the circumstances, manic episodes/poor coping skills/assorted mental illness etc there's no defense in court - after all, what am i supposed to say? "well your honor, i take care of my gran, the night she died i went out of my head and while i know i stole a bunch of random stupid junk, i don't remember it.?" yeah right. i feel like a four year old who says "i don't know" when you ask them why they did something wrong. it's like this in other aspects of my life too - and everyone is sick of me and my crap, they say it's high time i stop using my weaknesses as excuses and grow up. has anyone been through something similar? how do you deal with the wreckage when you've had a manic episode with bad consequences?

[Warrioress]

Just be honest. You do have an illness and you weren't in a normal state when you stole that junk. I haven't been in the exact same situation as you, but I was totally ashamed of myself and thinking what did I do? after my last suicide attempt.

[HelloClarice]

i'm so sorry to hear that. anyone in enough pain to attempt suicide shouldn't have to feel external shame on top of that! i just wish i knew how to "stop" acting this way.

[Direction]

Most of my troubles involve plastic and then not being able to afford for various unplanned events...so bankruptcy has been the consequence twice now...

Explain the reasons and accept the consequences...hopefully you are seeing someone professionally already, so you can avoid similar patterns in the future...

[HelloClarice]

i plan on doing exactly that. i just know that in a legal sense, my issues are neither a good reason nor a defense, and a judge is not going to treat me with kid gloves because of my BP or my BPD. i'm sure they see people like me all the time. i am trying to find affordable treatment but since i can afford neither an attorney nor a therapist at the moment i'm trying to deal with both issues in the best way i know how. which admittedly is not well.

[Cole Thornton]

The court will not take your BPD into account for trial, but they may consider it during a pre-sentence investigation. There is a difference between being accountable and being culpable, so make sure you speak with the judge or prosecutor. They may even be able to help you find some affordable help!

[johnf22881]

I understand your situation and the situation is terrible. I went through some recent legal issues, a DWI, and the judge would not even listen to what I had to say at all. He did give me the chance to speak, but was not paying any mind. If society has adopted that there are real psychiatric illnesses, why would the fact that "I was not in a rational state of mind or I did have poor judgement which is out of my control to some degree" be tossed in the trash.

I've admitted my faults, made every attempt to get help, and do all my doctor recommends and I am still expected to have absolute control over every move I make. I didn't sign up for this, but I am doing something about it (well trying very hard). I don't use being bipolar as an excuse or crutch to act foolishly, yet when I do act foolish it is because I am bipolar. What I am saying is that you have to take responsibility and make the court aware of your condition. Get a letter from your doctor for some added support.

It seemed my fault in my court case was that I really had no memory of the event because my head went through the windshield, so I couldn't say if I was guilty or not. I took the case to trial and all the evidence for the state was weak, but the courts deal with people who do break the law so I guess I looked like everyone else. I would have appealed but I couldn't afford it. I know I would have won in superior court. My lesson from this was that I think I should have pled guilty and worked a deal. The judge was pissed I tried the case and threw the book at me.

This is not legal advice or an attempt at it - just my story. Hope it helps...

[mgran]

Hi Clarice, I was also arrested once for shop lifting (I could have been arrested on other occasions too) and I remember how frightened I was when I was up before the magistrates. In the end things didn't work out nearly as badly as I feared. They took into account my history of mental illness (at that time there wasn't a clear diagnoses, but there was a pattern) and they took into account my mother's suicide, so I ended up with a suspended sentence.
Don't worry... just work carefully with the system as it stands where you live, and don't panic. Even with a criminal record, things can be well.

[HelloClarice]

mgran, thank you so much for writing. your words give me a much needed sense of calm and perspective. it's greatly appreciated!

[HelloClarice]

Originally Posted by johnf22881

I understand your situation and the situation is terrible. I went through some recent legal issues, a DWI, and the judge would not even listen to what I had to say at all. He did give me the chance to speak, but was not paying any mind. If society has adopted that there are real psychiatric illnesses, why would the fact that "I was not in a rational state of mind or I did have poor judgement which is out of my control to some degree" be tossed in the trash.

I've admitted my faults, made every attempt to get help, and do all my doctor recommends and I am still expected to have absolute control over every move I make. I didn't sign up for this, but I am doing something about it (well trying very hard). I don't use being bipolar as an excuse or crutch to act foolishly, yet when I do act foolish it is because I am bipolar. What I am saying is that you have to take responsibility and make the court aware of your condition. Get a letter from your doctor for some added support.

It seemed my fault in my court case was that I really had no memory of the event because my head went through the windshield, so I couldn't say if I was guilty or not. I took the case to trial and all the evidence for the state was weak, but the courts deal with people who do break the law so I guess I looked like everyone else. I would have appealed but I couldn't afford it. I know I would have won in superior court. My lesson from this was that I think I should have pled guilty and worked a deal. The judge was pissed I tried the case and threw the book at me.

This is not legal advice or an attempt at it - just my story. Hope it helps...

BBM

wow, that's profound (seriously, no mockery intended ) perhaps i should practice a little self forgiveness and heed these words when i feel overly ashamed of my faults.