Indecision: Blessing or Curse?

In my former, pre-BP life I was very decisive. I thought things through, made a choice and stuck with it. Very confident. Now indeciveness is driving me nuts. I know it can be a symptom of depression, but I have it no matter what state I'm in. Meds maybe? Ex,: I just came back from the grocery store, spent 10.00 for tomorrow's cole slaw to take to a picnic. I was there an hour and a half AND I had a list! Sometimes I find the grocery store so overwhelming I start to cry or call someone for a pep talk. This is unacceptable to me. I have trouble with this elsewhere or with its "sister" procrastination. Sound familiar anyone and how do you deal? Thanks!

SAME!!! When I got on meds I turned into a total dumb dumb. I have the memory of an 85 year old woman now, and the attention span of a monkey. Grocery store gets me too. I have to make a list before I go. We have a white board, and everyone writes down the things they need. I copy it onto a piece of paper, and then I go buy the stuff. It keeps me organized, and where I don't have to think, and it stops me from impulse buying.

I was the same as you. My mind worked like lightening, I was witty, decisive, and felt a lot smarter. Now I feel dumb, and old, and confused. Oh the joy of meds. xoxoxoxoxo

Thank you forgive77...guess I need to FORGIVE myself too eh? You nailed it. You also seem to be taking it in stride? And after I posted the word "distraction" popped in my head. And that may be the real culprit causing what I perceive as indecisiveness. And where is one of the most distracting places? Hmmm. And to help out my suspicions - the meds. I get it with all states I said so it stands to reason that meds are the common denominator. My real loss right now is as a former journalist with impeccable spelling and grammar skills. I feel like that is gone gone gone. Typing that was once a reflex is very tough. I wonder if/when I drop some meds this will come back. Any experiences? Thanks again - I know someone is right on this too. Sounds like you're far from DUMB - just a victim of the psych drugs, PS: My mom is in mid-stage dementia and I feel like we have WAY too much in common mentally!

Ya...you definitely need to forgive yourself. I don't know if I'm taking it in stride. I had a lot of therapy before I even found this site. 8 or 9 months worth before I even really started trying to learn about the disease. Just dealt with what was going on in my life. I've moved back to what I now consider my home town, and into a house I really like. My neighbors are great, and I know the schools are good. I'm just really happy and peaceful right now. We did all this so that I would come out of my depression and to make less travel for my husband.

Do you forget what you're doing from one room to another? LOL I hate those days.

Never was decisive or confident (except in art.), so there was nothing to lose there. TOTALLY know what you mean about the grocery store. Or any store for that matter. Sometimes it takes me days to gear up to deal. Always bring my Ipod. For some it might seem like extra input, but for me, it is focusing in helping to drown out the troublesome aspects of being there. Just a thought.
Yes, yes, yes! And put it grouped by the order I move through the store in. Next zone... boom boom boom, no thought required. (Though can look quite the space case in the produce section, staring at, say, avocados, till one 'speaks' to me... )
Distraction, yes. No appreciable difference since meds though. Psych thought I was ADD right away, so that might be it, or it might be a product of the way BPs brains often work, pulling disparate ideas together (ie. not linear thinking), which leads to the creativity often linked with BP. Can't think of the name of it though. See next. Biggest loss is related to yours, and the one thing I feel the meds have affected. The timing is just too close to discount. Language stuff, like not being able to come up with the right word. Rhyming, related, same first letter, yes. The word itself, no. Sometimes remember it later, but it's pretty useless by then. That's very frustrating, having a large vocabulary (it still is, just often not timely) and having studied many languages. Then there are times complex language just flows with no problem. Other times, can barely pull a sentence together. Very weird!
Thank goodness that happens to everyone though!

Losing my language skills terrified me. To find that suddenly I couldn't remember words, remember how to spell words and I couldn't remember how to say them caused me a lot of anxiety. Well, it caused more than a lot of anxiety actually. Panic would be a better word.

I do have one suggestion for you, you might want to have your thyroid level tested. In particular if you're on lithium. Lithium can cause low thyroid and that can cause memory problems or having trouble thinking clearly.

As for what I do, like Forgive77 I just try to let what I can go. Sometimes that works.

You also pinned it down, the not being able to come up with the right word...it's like having a game show (just now: "joe) in my head. Or the other game "Let's described the word/object as close as I can and never get the actual word out" i.e. "run" = that square think on the floor with the pretty pattern made out of wood under your table." Geez.

Other ex: the no/know mix-up UGH! and things like "wherehouse" vs. "warehouse" and on and on! MY pdoc said those kinds of things were definitely the meds. So I really feel for you! I'm interest in the concept you described about creativity. Thanks!

Thanks for your response. Your thyroid-related suggestion is perfect. I went from being hypo. to hyper. with treatment with the the hormones in between. BTW I'd take hypothyroidism any day. It's been a horrible rollarcoaster for several years until they took me off all thyroid medicine 6 months ago. Yes, the lithium was to blame all along. Long way of saying with NO medication the thyroid tests are due. This does correlate timeframe-wise.