Normal?

Sometimes I eer wonder if I will feel normal again. Whatever that it.

I always wonder this still and then when I do feel normal I ask my husband and he is like if you have to ask me all the time then your not feeling normal. It's just so hard to understand what normal is I guess. Maybe I wanted it to much so think about it to much. Now I just want to be able to feel emotions but with out going to the extreme of each pole.

I'm not sure what normal is either. Sometimes I wonder if we are all waiting to feel normal, would we know it if it came?

Today I feel blah. I feel like vanilla, not chocolate or strawberry, just vanilla. I feel boring and uninteresting. I do not feel hyper, excited, happy, irritated, mad or any other emotion. I just feel blah. Is that what normal is?

I guess normal is different for everyone. I just feel like the illness itself makes me abnormal.

I have no idea what feeling normal is like. And when I am out I look at other people and wonder if they feel "normal." I also wonder what it feels like not to feel depressed. I can't imagine that people feel like that, but I guess they do.

I was told I am normal by someone else who is Bipolar. He told me that it's normal to see the world and feel down and then get bursts of artistic genius as a way to express myself. I don't think I am normal, but I appreciated his insight.

p.s. my pdoc thinks I am normal, but he does not live with me...

My favorite Dr. Gregory House says Normal is Boring. I have never been normal. I could write a book and my bipolar would be a minute part of it. Just like you may have big feet. It's part of you, but it's not your life.

I don't know what "feeling normal" is anymore. I told this to my tdoc this week. I feel like if I'm not manic, I'm depressed. Or maybe one of those is normal and I think it's not. It does suck.

i think we're all so use to analysing what mood we're in that we might miss or over-analyse the normal parts.