[xp1155]

I kept denying it for a long time and told myself I am just depressed and anxious... besides, I would go from high to low in the same day- not typical for someone who is Bipolar. I recently sought help and knew the diagnosis before the nurse practitioner even said it... Mixed Episode Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder. My mania typically isn't bad and I find that my bursts of inspiration come at these times (which is defiantly a good thing in grad school); but the depression can hit hard and when mixed with mania can be a serious issue. I have been depressed since I can remember, even at four years old. Mania and anxiety weren't problems until I was older. However, this is my diagnosis and I must accept it and face it head on.

Does anyone else have this diagnosis? I know it's rare...

[aquaman]

I don't have your specific diagnosis, but I am considered a rapid cycler. My depressive/manic episodes can last only a few short days or several weeks. I've never had both episodes in one day though.

If you can, talk to a tdoc or pdoc to get some more accurate information about your BP. Everyone has different symptoms and it manifests itself in different ways.

[dragonfly2]

The "mixed episode" part is usually considered a "specifier", that is, something added on to the primary diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. Rapid cycling is also a specifier, so for example, if your current state were to be described according to DSM-IV nomenclature (which is what is used in the US), then it would read something like: "Bipolar I, Current episode mixed, with rapid cycling". Do you only have mixed episodes? There are people who are considered "ultraradian" cyclers, and cycle multiple times throughout a day. That's an extreme form of rapid cycling. It's the "...current episode..." portion that changes with the mood states, or it can also be listed as "...most recent episode..." if a person is in remission. "Psychotic features" can also be added as a specifier.

Whatever they want to call it, I am glad that you finally have some answers, so that you may now find solutions. Having rapid cycling and mixed episodes isn't as rare as you might think, and there are lots of people here (myself included) who can share in that understanding with you.

[Secretum]

Dragonfly is right about DSM labeling, but feel free to call your disorder whatever you like. I can definitely relate to the moods you are describing. In fact, daily mood changes (short of true episodes) have been documented in people with bipolar. (see the thread "cycling within cycling")

If you are a true ultradian cycler, keep in mind that meds may not work as well for you as you'd like. I've heard that tegretol is the best for super-fast cycling?-but I could be wrong. Regardless, it would probably be a good idea to include therapy and lifestyle changes (consistent sleep schedule, good diet, other healthy habits that I've never managed to develop ) in your treatment regime.

I hope you feel more level soon!

[xp1155]

Thank you, all!

Yes, all my episodes cycle throughout the day and they don't last for more than a couple of hours. Typically, they are mixed episodes; although, I do have the occasional simply depression (this can last for days) or simply manic (never lasts for more than a few hours and is usually hypo-mania) episodes. I also suffer from really bad anxiety and rarely my PTSD pops up.

I started seeing a Nurse Practitioner of Psychiatry almost a month ago after years and years of only treating my anxiety and it's been frustrating. I don't have any other options because I won't have insurance until late August when I start my PhD. 100mg of Seroquel XR (50 was too little and 150 made me feel like a zombie) helped with some Lamictal and BuSpar. However, she was giving me samples and said that she couldn't give me more Seroquel. She switched me to Trazodone to help me sleep and I feel absolutely awful! Honestly, I don't care if I don't sleep 8 hours a night (I sleep about 6 on weekdays and crash on the weekends to sleep 8-10 hours) because I am an academic and my body clock naturally keeps weird hours. Plus, Trazodone is not approved for Bipolar! My Mom, who is a nurse, is mad that I am on three things and told me to stop taking the Trazodone since it makes me feel so sick and depressed.

I simply want something to control my mind from racing, especially when I am depressed AND manic. Controlling the depression is also a major key goal for me. If I can control my flashes of inspiration to be able to write as fast as my mind or think at a normal speed (my brain is a machine and sometimes kicks into overdrive); then I will be satisfied.

Thanks again for listening and sharing.