Yesterday my daughter came to visit me. She seemed in a bad mood but said she wasn't. Her behavior indicated bad mood though or just bored with me. I was in a cheerful mood but then my mood went to crap. We were supposed to spend some quality time together but given the situation I am glad she had some other plans as well that shortened her visit. So I told her I was glad to have spent time with her and hugged her goodbye and then she left. Once she'd gone I just sat and cried. On top of that I was wakened by my husband twice last night out of a deep sleep once for one of our dogs wanting to go out. The second time because our little dog got sick on the bed and so I had to clean it all up and then put new sheets on. But it was a little more complicated than that. Our little dog is not well and I am afraid that we will have to make a heartbreaking decision one day soon. I don't want the dog to suffer and I hope that my husband will be able to see when it's time to let go. I know it's incredibly hard I understand that all too well having gone through it with a wonderful dog I had before we got married and quite a while after. Anyway all this stuff is just pushing my buttons right now.

[thinker22]

So sorry that you are sad Dobie. Family is difficult. You love them, but don't want to impose or make them feel suffocated or have them do that to you. It's a delicate balance (no reference to the play intended). I'm sure your daughter loves you and just had other things on her mind.



Hope you will have a better day today. Wow, you were up even earlier than I this morning. Hope you will get some sleep too, if you need it.

Thinker, thanks very much for the encouraging words. I was awake at 2am this morning dealing with all that mess and I was too wound up to go back to bed. I finally went back to bed near 6am and at 7:45am my husband woke me up yet again from a deep dreaming sleep before going to work....lol. I think he felt like his nights sleep was messed up so he didn't think I should sleep so soundly either. I do feel bad for him he has to work all day but still with my sleep so broken up I might as well be forced to stay awake. Bits of sleep here and there are pretty much as bad as too little sleep. Oh well. I will try to sneak some naps in today. Again thank you for your supportiveness it does help when you know others are pulling for ya.

[wing]

Dobie, I have three kids, and sometimes I dread "quality time" with them because of the mood they put me in. I've tried to set boundaries by saying "I'd rather not talk about that now" but usually get a sarcastic reply and even more of a sour mood from them.

It's a shame, but now that they are grown, I realize as a mom my job is pretty much done, and I don't have to tolerate behavior that doesn't affirm me. It still hurts so much, though, that I don't have the happy adult relationship I want with them. I'm still the mom who gets dumped on. *sigh*

Hopefully it will change as we all get older. I know my mom and I got a lot closer after I got married and had kids. We're still not all that close though, because she is critical by nature and I've had to pull back when she starts up with that.

to your pup and you

[ladyjrnlist]

you just had yourself a bad night, didn't you? I hope things are better now and that you can get some rest.

Thank you wingin'it. My gosh that sounds so close to my situation and my thinking that it's almost scary...lol. However my kids have lived with their dad after our divorce even though we had joint custody he created a situation where it was hard to get them to visit me. He got them into motor cross and at first he would ask if he could take them racing on my weekends then he just took it for granted and took them anyway. So if I forced the kids to come here they were little monsters. I should have fought for custody but I didn't expect for him to want to keep them with him for very long on a full time basis. Anyway the kids favor him big time and no doubt he bad mouthed me so it affected my relationship with my son and daughter. My girl is 19 and my boy is going on 17 soon. Hoping things will get better when they are older and married with kids. My relationship with my mom blossomed once I was married with children. So I can always hope.
Thank you for sharing your understanding wingin'it...it sure does help (maybe more than you realize).

Thank you ladyjrnlist. I sure do feel sleepy so I am definitely going to try and get a nap here when I feel like I can doze off. Yep yesterday was just a crappy 'ol day. I am just gonna keep it low key today and try and not let it bring me down. I feel rather fragile so most definitely going to avoid any and all drama as much as possible. Thank you for the words of encouragement. I hope you are doing well.