What's wrong with me?

I d0n't think she's being mean, she's just bringing things to light that i'd rather have left buried... She says we need to deal with whats underneath bcoz i've nearly perfected my mask,so my surface seems fine. I think i'm just being a baby... You guys have been amazing tho. Got myself to the labour dpt today, It was FREAKING hard leaving my bed,but i did it! :-)

She might be making light of it as to not trigger you, but get the full story so you can let it go. She doesn't know you yet, so she doesn't want you to over react either. Could be helpful if she says "so what?" to a few things you say so you can make light of them too, and learn about yourself, and let it go.

I've done that same thing where i just didn't feel like seeing anyone, i didn't answer my phone, or leave my home accept for work, before i knew it 2 years had passed and it got more and more difficult to see people i didn't answer calls, even my own family members who live in the same town i wouldn't see.The longer you wait the more difficult it is, plus you feel guilty for lying about why you can't go over, why they can't come over, why you didn't answer the phone etc. I know how you feel about your friend might see you if you go to a certain place....i do that too..i am near panic when we drive through a town that one of my friends mom lives in..I'm afraid she will see me..and i don't want to..talk..or see her. The only thing that helped..honestly...my husband forcing me to go places...if i was without him I'd still be that way. I suppose my advice...is do it anyways...even if you don't want to...even if it's not fun..just go and when the dreaded conversation comes up about why you weren't around...say i wasn't feeling well, but I'm doing ok now...you only have to have that conversation once...and after a while...you yourself might believe it too...it may be true..eventually.

Like some of the others, I've been doing this for years. I say I have a headache, or some other lie to get out of going somewhere. I believe it's a function of my depression. And isolating just makes depression worse. If I can just go across the street to buy something at the corner gas station, then I feel a little better. I don't have a car, so if my friends come here and pick me up, then I might go out. If I have to go on my own and get on a bus or walk there, it's so much harder. I've even done this with work, and got fired from my last 2 jobs over it.

When you go out, is there someone you trust who can go with you? I'm much better when my friends pick me up and we go together.

I would suggest doing a little at a time, and talking to your pdoc and your T about it. Maybe they can find a way to help you. Isolation is not good - I know from experience.

Thanks for your input and pers0nal experience, i appreciate it. XOXO