[kaliope]

I am posting this under Bipolar and PTSD because I am both and don’t know where it will find the most responses. I saw my T yesterday and wanted to discuss my progress. We wrote a list of all my symptoms before I started meds and therapy. My T kept repeating that this was “a long list!” This bothers me because I thought I was a run of the mill crazy person, but his reaction makes me think that my problems were more extreme. I am stable now, just some steady anxiety I manage with coping skills, but I was a mess back then. So my issues were: Depression, suicidal, cutting, dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, hypervigilance, anxiety, panic attacks, voices in my head, psychosis, mania, and insomnia
So how do I compare? Does anybody else experience all these issues or is it just me?

[Anneinside]

I don't think you can compare levels of mental illness. The intensity of symptoms vary over time. Sometimes I am not suicidal and other times I'm ready to jump off a tall building. I think trying to compare your illness with someone elses is not possible or healthy for you.

[mokie]

anneinside has a point but I understand that you may need to feel that you are not alone. I have felt all this things at one point in my life or maybe all at one time its hard to say. Just as we are all different in our illness, meds, understanding, so are we on our list of symptoms. Just think of the positive that you are now stable.

[dragonfly2]

While I agree that comparing your degree of illness to another's may be counterproductive, let's take a practical look at your list.

First, you have two diagnoses, so you'll have symptoms of both disorders.

Second, you have essentially duplicated some symptoms by giving them different names or breaking them down a step. For example, depersonalization and derealization are both types of dissociation. Hearing voices in your head, assuming you don't have DID, would be considered psychosis. If the voices were from DID, then that would be under dissociation. So, if you go through your list and cross out things that are redundant, you may find it is much shorter.

I think your T was a bit out of line by saying how "long" your list was. Even if it was long, what he essentially did was say, "wow, you really are nuts" - uncalled for. I don't know if the list you gave us was the same as what you gave him, but I don't see anything that would be considered unusual given your diagnoses, except perhaps the cutting. That may be part of something else, but as far as symptoms of PTSD and bipolar, the rest of it doesn't seem at all excessive to me.

Other than suicidal, I've experienced all of these things at one point or another. I haven't cut in about 2 or 3 years, mainly because as my mania started to increase, I felt too overly-narcissistic to feel any benefit from harming myself. Though that's not to say that I don't harm myself worse emotionally/mentally. Suffice it to say-- I am in the exact same boat as you are. I have Bipolar & only recently realized that I have PTSD due to my Mother's bipolar episodes. And, though I don't need to repeat what everyone else has said, your T was being an insensitive asshole. Don't let him bother you any. Absolutely NO ONE is "run of the mill" crazy. We're all simply crazy.