[NuckingFutz]

I'm temporarily staying with my sister until I find gainful employment. At the moment I am in a hypomanic state. This was confirmed by my pdoc last week.

I told my sister and just let her figure out what she sees as hypomanic. I ask her about it and she says she just says she sees sleeplessness, working hard, and talking fast. With that in mind...

I woke up this morning and she was on the phone saying I was in a manic stayed and it's really hard, really hard.

Now what she told the person on the phone is more helpful to me than what feedback she gave me to my face.

How come the two different statements when the second one would have helped me more? I'm really feally confused here.

I'm just kind of at a loss of which one is right? I don't think sleeplessness, working hard and talking fast would be hard on her part.

Can anyone clue me in on what I'm putting my sister throug? I haven't done anything rash, compulisve (except talk), or dangerous since this hypomanic episode started. I am really confused.

I would ask my sister but she tells people different things about the exact sitution (that's kind of confusing me as well) so I don't know how to interpret what she says?

Can anyone clue me in?

[Ryask]

Maybe she means it's hard..to see her loved one go through a mental illness...

[OneDown]

She may also mean its really hard to watch you go through all of this. She may also be hesitant to share this with you out of concern for how it could affect you in your current state.

I develop hypomania from time to time, and like you, don't really do anything "off the wall" except sleep less, talk fast, and get irritable. My wife ends up in the crossfire at times so I ask her how she's feeling, how this is impacting her, is there anything I can do to make this easier for her until the mood stabilizer kicks in, etc?

I would recommend just thanking her for her support, telling her you know it must be really difficult for her, and tell her she can be honest with you and that if there is anything bothering her, she can feel free to share with you and that you will do your best to take care of yourself and will do whatever you can to make all this easier on her.

Thats what I do with my wife and she has said she really appreciates it (in between getting frustrated and asking me "Why can't you just *be normal*?"). This disease is really hard on our loved ones too, but they know we're suffering, so any effort we make to help them is usually very appreciated.

I hope this helps. Let us know how things turn out!

[NuckingFutz]

I decided to thank my sister for her support and told her I know how hard it can be to have to watch me go through this.

She said that the mania was hard on HER. Guess I got that wrong. I tried to ask her to clarify what she said on the phone and she just couldn't answer.

So much for trying to figure out how hypomania affects my sister other than it's difficult on her.

Other than not talking so much, I'm not sure what to do as my pdoc says to just wait it out since it is hypomania instead of full mania, that it's probably the heat affecting my meds.

[OneDown]

Sorry to hear that your fears on the topic were confirmed and that she wasd talking about her own hardships. I'd try to get her to open up about what exactly is hard for her about it and see if there is anything you can do to make it easier for her.

This all really puts you in a bad spot of having to deal with the BP AND figure out how to maintain your relationship with your sister. She needs to open up for you to know how its affecting her.

I hope it all works out!

[Rosalee1980]

My sisters are alot older than I am. I think they worry about me, and that does make it hard for them.

Also, when I am in a hypomanic state, I might call them ten times a day -- each!! when my husband gets tired of the fast talking and buzzing around, his eyes just kind of glaze over and he tunes me out.

Yes, it may be difficult for your sister but it is obvious she loves you. I have come to terms with being 'out there', I hope you can, too.

Rosalee

[SunAngel]

I am so sorry your sister was saying it was HARD on her. It is very sad to hear when our loved one's get affected by this freakin' disorder. You cannot help the state you are in.

Talk to your sister and try to explain that this is part of your disorder and you cannot help it.

Instead of going behind your back and telling people about how you are affecting her, have her be honest and up front with you.

There is nothing worse than hearing something being said behind your back when they cannot say it to your face.

[NuckingFutz]

Well, I asked her about it, and she said to my face "no, you are doing great managing your mania". Told her it was just hypomania and it was a lot less severe than full blown mania. She has info to read on it that I gave her but she didn't read it yet.

I guess that really wasn't the truth... yesterday morning at 4:00 a.m., I heard a noise outside my room, I opened the door to find my sister having a non-epileptic seisure (stress induced seisure). Maybe if she had talked to me when I asked her, she wouldn't have gone through this. She also stated inbetween seisures that she had crushing chest pain and couldn't breath (she was turning bright red). I'm use to the seisures but I called 911 on the breathing and chest pains. The paramedics took her to the hospital and she was admitted for tests. Six hours later she's fending off family phone calls telling her what she needs to do. She cut off all contact with family (except me because I was in the room). She then said she had a migrane (she has a history of those). She asked for pain medication and the doctor said he could give her something that would make the headache go away... she still wanted pain meds. She got some narcotic pain killers IV. Once she got those, she wanted everyone out and not to call (including me).

She has had migranes a lot (especially when her hubby is on business). She's been going to the ER and they give her pain meds. I'm starting to believe that this is what she really wants to begin with. I know that is not a nice thing to believe and I don't want to believe it, but it fits a long time pattern.

Also with her seisures, her docs say that it's stress. She's on disability right now. The rest of the family are trying to get her to get some long term help at one of those fancy mental health resorts. She told her hubby she would go, but dollars to donuts, I think she will talk her way out of it just before it's time for her to go.

She also threatened to move me out of her house if i told any family members what happened (this usually indicates that she's going to tell a tale to make herself look better).

I'm really struggling with this issue.

Please help.

[rubyindie]

thats a lot going on there! so even if it is difficut for you to comprehend everything that is happeneing, just let her be and let her know briefly but surely that u are there for her. maybe she is also taking a lot of responsibility on herself and struggling to maintain her composture in front of everybody. since u are on medications for your issue, and more in control now. i think it is only the need now that your sister gets the quiet support from u and hopefully others too. she needs to release all that pent up nervous energy within her. write a letter about how much u appreciate her and how she holds up in life for everyone(everyone likes to be appreciated) or some activity that u know she likes like a picnic or drive , yoga or window shopping. u could expect some breakdown but its for the better, she seems more like a ready to pop soda can. so just dont question her wellbeing too much, do something quiet and calm activity . it will work great for both of u and for your relationship. god bless. hope it helps...TC

[wing]

futz,

I think your sister is being incredibly self-centered. Piling more guilt on you is not fair. It makes it difficult living with her when she's holding you hostage to keep her secrets. Seems to me her husband should be intervening in the stress seizures, migraines and drug use. What's his role in all this?

I think the root of her issues with you is really an unwillingness to focus on her own. Sounds like the family is aware that something is going on, too, without you saying a word. I don't think it is realistic to expect much understanding from her right now. In fact, it sounds like an intervention is coming from the rest of the family. If they are not offering you a place to live, be sure they know she says she'll kick you out if you have any part in it.

You are the stable one between the two of you. Be sure to take care of yourself first. Do you need a med adjustment for the hypomania?

Stay strong, futz.

[sugahorse1]

(((NF))) I'm sorry. You are strong enough to ride this out. Your sister needs to let you get on with the hypomania and deal with it, and not blow things out of proportion regarding how hard it is for her. She can actually just carry on with her own life, as the symptoms that you describe really aren't destructive - in my opinion anyway

[NuckingFutz]

Thank you all for your support. I will be there for her when she gets out of the hospital as much as I can. What she thinks and says I have realized, is not about me but like someone said "her inability to deal with her own issues".

Family pretty much knows to keep my sis safe but ignore the seizures (I know it sounds cold but if we get emotional over them, they last longer).

My sister is still in the hospital for her "chest pains" and our family does have a history of heart disease. Her husband called me to kind of venting and also to let me know he's not mad at me. That part is laughable because anyone exhibiting signs of chest pains and respritory distress, you are going to call 911 even if you don't believe them.

I heard my sister say she will go to Sierra Tuscon or Spring Mountain Recovery when she gets out of the hospital. Gonna hold her to it. No one in my family knows she threatened me as what she threatened me with is not to tell other family members what was going on.

Bottom line, I think she just wanted to go hang out with her friends disauidid and oxycodone for a day.

Her hubby is sick of the behavior. He knows it happens when he's not arround. He is not an advocate for pain or psych meds (he thinks I should go off my meds cold turkey) that's not gonna happen. But about the pain meds, I don't think she had chest pain based on how defensive she got and how much better she felt once they went into her iv... her behavior changed so drastically. She had me running for the doctor the nurse and a Starbuck's latte (I kid you not).

I really hope she gets the help she needs but she's expert at worming her way out of and into stuff depending on how she feels.

She also has a selective memmory.

But, I will watch my boundaries and be there for her as I can. I didn't know until recently she was doing stuff so she can have doc's administer her those drugs. Also think she is emeshed with her hubby that she can't hope with stuff when he is not around. I think that is his way of enabling her.

p.s. I pray there isn't a "withdrawl period with these drugs, but if she's acting strange I'd bet on it.

[NuckingFutz]

Hey all! My sister's hubby is back. He told me that I should not have called 911 for my sister (this means he knows she faked her heart pain). I still would have called...you never know it's for real.

I decided to put a deposit down on a VA apartment. Her hubby has no problem with me living there, seems it's just my sister. Brother-in-law wanted to know why I put a deposit down... guess my sister didn't tell him how much pain meds they gave her because she did threaten me...she said she doesn't remember telling me if I said anything about the hospital, she would kick me out of the house. This is a crazy making situation!

I am so glad I have therapy on Monday!

Most others agree that me moving out is best for me as the current dysfunction in the house is really messing with my head.