[SunAngel]

I used to put this up as a thread on the other site I belonged to and it helped people get out what's on your mind, and also helped everyone get to know eachother like the other threads I started.

The hurricane is here and we haven't lost power, but my MIL and FIL lost theirs. I am just thinking that I hope we don't lose power because I will lose internet access and that really, really sux.

Our basement is already starting to get water in it and that sux also.

I am also thinking that I am stable right now, and I have to admit that I am totally bored being so because I usually only experience mania, with depression setting in at only at minimal times. The depressions suck, but the mania can be fun sometimes unless I go into psychosis.

If this is what it feels like to be stable, I feel sorry for the "normies" in my life. However, when I go into the depressive side of this disorder, I really feel lousy and do not wish that on anyone.

What's on your mind today?

I am thinking I wish I was stable haha. Boring sounds awesome right now.

I hope you and your family, and home will remain safe. ((((SunAngel))))

[zbmom]

I am thinking that the universe hates me right now. My autoimmune stuff is acting up bad, lots of pain in right knee with walking/standing. Just spent a week extremely sick and missed work I couldn't afford to miss. I'm super depressed, and downright irritable and short tempered. And with my job going away in 4 weeks and no new one lined up, on top of the health problems, I am full on trying not to lose it. Anxiety is through the roof.

Sorry it's so negative, but hey, you asked.

[autumn-spirit]

I'm thinking about how my last post has 26 views and only 1 comment and how ridiculous that is.

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by autumn-spirit

I'm thinking about how my last post has 26 views and only 1 comment and how ridiculous that is.

Yeah autumn-spirit, that does hurt and get to you, it doesn't it?

I am so sorry that happened to you.

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by zbmom

I am thinking that the universe hates me right now. My autoimmune stuff is acting up bad, lots of pain in right knee with walking/standing. Just spent a week extremely sick and missed work I couldn't afford to miss. I'm super depressed, and downright irritable and short tempered. And with my job going away in 4 weeks and no new one lined up, on top of the health problems, I am full on trying not to lose it. Anxiety is through the roof.

Sorry it's so negative, but hey, you asked.

I am so sorry zbmom. You seem to have so much on your plate right now that it would seem like the universe is against you.

I hope things lighten up for you soon.

[Hydrophobic1212]

I'm thinking about how amazing Abilify is for me. Two days in a row after raising the dosage and not a single paranoid thought!

I'm also worrying that it might drop back down to how it was before, and that this is only a temporary high.

I'm also thinking about how all the signs were there when I was two years younger, that I was suffering from something other than Bipolar officially (Just Bipolar-Type Schizoaffective disorder).

Yup. A lot on my mind right now. I'd share more but we'd be here all day. lol

Also, Sun, wishing you luck with the hurricane! I hope thins don't get too bad for you!

And autumn, I hate that too!

Zbmom, hope you feel better soon!

[dirt69juggalo]

am I going to fight with the girl friend when I get home. Will I even have a girl freind. Will she cheat again. Will I. Will I have a job at the end of the year. If not what about Christmas. Can my kid survive grade one. And that's just the last minute or two

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by Hydrophobic1212

I'm thinking about how amazing Abilify is for me. Two days in a row after raising the dosage and not a single paranoid thought!

I'm also worrying that it might drop back down to how it was before, and that this is only a temporary high.

I'm also thinking about how all the signs were there when I was two years younger, that I was suffering from something other than Bipolar officially (Just Bipolar-Type Schizoaffective disorder).

Yup. A lot on my mind right now. I'd share more but we'd be here all day. lol

Also, Sun, wishing you luck with the hurricane! I hope thins don't get too bad for you!


And autumn, I hate that too!

Zbmom, hope you feel better soon!

Hydro, Abilify is the medication that has made me stable. Don't give up on it because it can be increased. I am on the highest dosage and feel really stable on it. Good Luck!

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by dirt69juggalo

am I going to fight with the girl friend when I get home. Will I even have a girl freind. Will she cheat again. Will I. Will I have a job at the end of the year. If not what about Christmas. Can my kid survive grade one. And that's just the last minute or two

I am sorry you have so much on your mind dirt69juggalo.

I really hope things settle down for you soon.

[vjdragonfly]

I'm just wondering how I will make it through today. Will I manage to keep the dark thoughts at bay? Will I just finally lose control and go mental on everyone? How I wish I could have it together like I did in my younger years. {{{SIGH}}}

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by vjdragonfly

I'm just wondering how I will make it through today. Will I manage to keep the dark thoughts at bay? Will I just finally lose control and go mental on everyone? How I wish I could have it together like I did in my younger years. {{{SIGH}}}

vjdraagonfly, do you think you should call your pdoc? It sounds like you need your meds changed or tweaked if you are on them.

[vjdragonfly]

Yeah Sunangel, I really think I need my meds tweeked. Holding out for my pdoc appt, which is still a month away. Going to see if I can get it moved up tomorrow, which they probably won't. Just gets hard sometimes as I'm sure you know.

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by vjdragonfly

Yeah Sunangel, I really think I need my meds tweeked. Holding out for my pdoc appt, which is still a month away. Going to see if I can get it moved up tomorrow, which they probably won't. Just gets hard sometimes as I'm sure you know.

I would definitely give it a try to see if you can get in sooner. Nobody should have to be left feeling like you do right now.

[Hydrophobic1212]

Originally Posted by SunAngel

Hydro, Abilify is the medication that has made me stable. Don't give up on it because it can be increased. I am on the highest dosage and feel really stable on it. Good Luck!

Thank you! I'm definitely not giving up on it. I LOVE it so far and I hope that it will keep making things better for me.

[GreenIvy]

I am wondering if I will be able to be able to figure out what times I should take my Geodon twice a day to reduce the drowsiness side effect during the day which prevents me from going to sleep at night. I know the dose will still need to be raised to help stabilize me but if I can't handle the current level I can't handle an increased level. If I can't handle it then my Pdoc told me she may scrap both my lithium and geodon and start me on something different, which I am not looking forward to.

[sugahorse1]

Work is going so slow. Will I least be able to leave early to go visit my horses?
Will I be able to concentrate long enough to be productive?

That I really really really don't want to go to work tonight. That's nothing new, there are a bucket-full of issues with that always, but on top of all the usual ones, I've been put "in charge". Assigning locations should go ok, but coordinating the paperwork of 7 workers and the foreman of the contracting company? At 5 am? Last time I left the site, I had to stop 3 times for things I forgot to do, including leaving my trunk open driving off... Then there's the "fun" of dealing with early (ie. crowded, but still fast) rush hour on the 1 1/2 hour drive back home. Sigh.
I just can't stop dreading on it.

[widgets]

I'm thinking that i cant deal with the anti climax of a good weekend.
That Lactimal has made my mood more stable than its ever been in my life.
I have a weird void feeling.

Me and my best friend had a chat about bipolar last night, he told me he notices and tries his best to help me with the depression, but know he encourages the mania and that i wont notice this because he knows i find it so hard to talk about things and get my words out properly so he doesnt bring it up he just tries to help.
I explained how it feels like a daily battle and sometimes i feel so depressed i feel like i'm drowning.
He cried, i cried and now i'm worried things will be weird with stuff out in the open, because we've always had that, 'sweep anything difficult under the carpet,' relationship.

My whole family has been away for the weekend and i missed them, now they're home i just want to be on my own.