[mfn2012]

Here is a recent text exchange that I had with my wife:

It shows her that I have accepted my bipolar and wanted to let her know that she no longer has to fear for her life. She tried for 8 years to get me to address other conditions for what I have been diagnosed with, but I failed to accept. But I think of all the illness for which I was picked for, the bipolar got the less of the attention, and unfortunately I think it was the most prevalent.

What this exchange also shows how strong of a wall she has built. It is not affecting my relationship between my son and I. She goes from offering me any other night this week, tomorrow night, to now only Friday and a "Will let you know."

My question is, how do I get it across from her that she is being blinded by her anger towards me to actually see what she is doing to affect my relationship with my son, especially when she won't even pick up the phone to talk to me? If there is a person who has dealt with someone with bipolar, did you react in this way?

Sunday - 6:16 PM
Me: You are wise and intelligent beyond your years. I think this past episode proves it, that I am bipolar and take confidence that you alone brought me back. Only the future will tell, but I am optimistic for how I have felt for the last two days. Would it be okay to reach out to E. to get some assistance from his friend to talk about possible mood stabilizers?

No response from wife.

Sunday - 9:14 PM
Me: That doesn't mean that I think the damage goes away. I asked my stepmother to just observe me over the next few days. She agrees with me about the bipolar. I would imagine she can spot it, with all the blogging, the mood swings, the erratic behavior...I asked her, if she saw a leveling, to to reach out to you, so as to ease your fears. But I am hopeful. I know it is not safe for me to be there (at our house), both for you, me, and the kids. I pray to God this is it. I hope this provides you with a little ease tonight. I am truly sorry for all the pain this has caused you and our family. I am taking a shower and then going to bed. Goodnight.

No response.
Today
Me: Hey? It's me. I'm calm and still trying to put all the pieces together. I called and left a message for my Dr. to find out what he suggests I can do. I am going to have him give you a call after I speak with him. I don't want you living in fear for one more second. Love you.

Me: Forgot to tell you. I signed back into [Google] Latitude so you can see where I am at.

Wife: Tonight won't work. We have plans. Any other evening this week will be okay to see F.

Me: Can I ask what is going on?

Wife: It doesn't matter. How is tomorrow?

Me: How is every night? I would like to put him down for bed if that is okay with you?

Wife: nope

Me: I understand why you feel that way. Well just let me know what you are comfortable with. Do you Dr. B. to call you, or is that not on you plate to deal with today?

Wife: He is on vacation. You need to leave me alone ok?

Me: He told me to call him.
Me: First and foremost I don't want my wife fearing for her life because of me.
Me: That's all.
Me: What time is okay for you to call and talk to F. ?

Wife: U can call him later after nap.

Me: K

Wife: Are you able to be here with F. Friday while I am at the wedding?
Wife: 6PM till like 10?

Me: Sure. Are there any other nights that you are comfortable with?

Wife: Will let you know.

[Ryask]

I think you should give her some time/space, instead of asking to go over and see your child ask to pick him up and take him/her out, that would be more comfortable for her, limit your conversations with her for a while it sounds like she needs a break.

Also it doesn't sound to me like she wants any of your personal updates, so when speaking to her speak about plans to take your child and limit the other stuff. Let her know you would like a schedule like (weekends, every second day or whatever).

[GreenIvy]

I agree with Ryask. I think your wife needs some space. If she has a wall up then it would be very difficult to try to get her to see your point of view. If her wall is up, anything you do can be taken the wrong way by your wife, not because you meant it that way, just because she sees things differently since she feels the need to protect herself from you. Your best intentions and actions may not look that way to her, they may be painting a completely different picture. I would guess she needs space to sort through things herself. You may get more accomplished in terms of your child if you keep the setting up of times and actual visitation more businesslike when it comes to your wife. Set up a time and place to meet to do exchanges. Stick to small chit-chat and matters concerning the child when meeting or calling to set-up exchanges or get updates on the child, don't ask personal questions and don't give personal information.