[manicminer]

Well, its getting down to the wire. See my pdoc for the first time since June on the 29th. Sooooo many changes since the last time we met.

-New job
-Working nights
-Loooong hours (very little sleep)
-Change in med schedule
-Off health insurance so stretched meds
-Ran out of meds (got more now) leading to extreme mania
-Massive increases in impulse spending, impulse sex, alcohol abuse, tobacco use, suicidal/homicidal thoughts, and SI tendencies
-Girlfriend left me

To top it off, I have to admit to him that I have not been at all honest or open with him since he took over for my old doc who moved (was even less open with him). I have a list of everything i need to tell him. I even kept from him the major depression i faced in the winter.

I know this is gonna be a rough one. Have a feeling i might actually break down and cry having to relive all this hell again.

Any support you all could give would be greatly appreciated. I know this is all that im gonna be able to think about, unless im hammered drunk, for the next 5 days.

Well good for you!!! Thats a huge step. And will no doubt be a huge app for you. I'm wishing you the best for this. You have my support. I hope you app goes really good for you an that you get what you need from it. Good job

[BNLsMOM]

Remember, your pdoc works for you. Don't worry whether he might be angry with you. Just be honest. Your pdoc is there to help you.

Good luck Thursday. I am sending good vibes.

[cybermember]

Just be honest. Tell it like it is and you should get the help you definitely deserve. I wish you all the best with your upcoming appt. Hang in there my friend.

[kindachaotic]

Good Evening manic miner!

Very, very proud of you! . A brave & smart decision on you're part!

[alwaysrejoice]

I wish you all the best, you are doing the right thing.

[Ryask]

MM good luck tell the truth thats the best way he will be able to help you! Your brave enough, i know it!

[SunAngel]

I am very proud of you manicminer. You really should be honest about everything and your pdoc should never get mad at you.

I really hope you get the help you need.

[manicminer]

Only a couple more days now. The tension is building. Had to tell my little bro and parents what all has been goin on. Next is the pdoc. I really dont care for him and i have a hard time being open with people i dont like. i can tell a complete stranger my life story if i like em, but wont say a word to others i dont.

If I can do it, you can do it. It is up to your discretion too. Remember that.

[manicminer]

Originally Posted by Anika

If I can do it, you can do it. It is up to your discretion too. Remember that.

I know it is, but ive been using it too much. I also just want to unload on him to let him know how much he has missed. most people can read me like a book. dont know why he cant

Well I can understand that. I second what I said, I am sure you can do it. I understand being nervous about it tho. You're already half done, talking to your family was a big thing.