Hi everyone,

I am somewhat bitter about having inherited the illnesses from past generations in my family. I have received Temporal Lobe Epilepsy from my mother's side, and depression, anxiety, and OCD from my father's side. I'm also the first ever in my family to have Bipolar Disorder. I have two siblings who do not have any of this. I am by NO means saying that I wish they had these illnesses...I just wish that I could have avoided them as well.

There is also Crohns Disease in my family, and cancer. I have the mindset that since I tend to be the illness magnet in the family, I'll end up getting these illnesses too.

Can anyone relate? =/

[Detach]

Well, I have BP because my mother has it and her father had all the signs of it, but never went to a psychiatrist. I have Multiple Sclerosis from my fathers side of the family, my cousin has it also. So, yeh, All the major debilitating illness were given to me.... My sister does have fibromyalgia, but.....mine are still much worse. She's never been in the hospital because of fibro. I've been in the hospital for both my BP and MS.

[~Christina]

HI Melissa,
Im sorry your trying to cope with inheriting these illnesses .. Personally I have no idea where my BiPolar comes from as both my mother and father never showed any signs of mental illness .. But my daughter who is 20 has just been diagnosed with Bipolar I and trust me I feel soooooooooooooooooooooo guilty ... I was finally diagnosed this year at the age of 44 .... im glad shes dealing with hers at age 20 so she wont go years wondering all the time why she would react to something like i did . I also deal with Severe Chronic pain its always at least a 7 on a scale of 10 .. I cope better with the pain than i did 18 months ago when it just popped up in my life ...

I guess everyone has crap to deal with ... Seems some of us tend to get a lil bigger helping of the garbage than most. Just try to keep your chin up

Wishing you Love and Peace ~

[eskielover]

Interesting, it seems like if we don't have past generations to blame our condition on, we have a situation that we can point to......but I think there is always something that we can point our fingers at others for in our life. Sometimes we just have to accept that our life is what it is & focus our energy on trying to take care of ourselves & using the best skills possible to give ourselves the highest quality of life we can possibly have. Being wise with meds or suppliments & using the skills to determine our wisest action in whatever situations we find ourselves in. After 58 years of life, I realize that nothing in life is easy & there is always some cause we can point to for anything that we struggle with.....all we can do is try to do the best we can & try to learn & gather together the best possible methods we can apply to have the best life possible.

Originally Posted by eskielover

Interesting, it seems like if we don't have past generations to blame our condition on, we have a situation that we can point to......but I think there is always something that we can point our fingers at others for in our life. Sometimes we just have to accept that our life is what it is & focus our energy on trying to take care of ourselves & using the best skills possible to give ourselves the highest quality of life we can possibly have. Being wise with meds or suppliments & using the skills to determine our wisest action in whatever situations we find ourselves in. After 58 years of life, I realize that nothing in life is easy & there is always some cause we can point to for anything that we struggle with.....all we can do is try to do the best we can & try to learn & gather together the best possible methods we can apply to have the best life possible.

Thank you for your reply. I was frustrated when writing this post, but I by no means blame my parents or other family members for my situation. In fact, having these illnesses has made me a more mature and strong-willed individual. I need to make the best of what I have, the good and the bad. I just needed to vent at the time, I suppose.

[stan0212]

Hi. I am new here.
I hate discussing my bp with non-bp friends. My mom was bp, plus I had a pretty dysfunctional childhood and went through lots of stress in my life which my non-bp friends have never gone through.
They will tell me things that make me feel that I am responsible for making myself ill coz I can't cope with the stress without even knowing my story and that makes me feel worse.
They don't really believe that bp can be hereditary, but a character weakness stemming from being unable to cope with stress, though I agree that stress is also a causative factor.
Sadly, I have to say staying away from such friends improves my quality of life.

I have hardly any emotional support. Those of my friends who are bp can't afford much support either coz they have their own struggles to live with and we all have our commitments.

Hope u all can put up with my rant.

[ariatboot]

I can relate to what you are saying. I seem to have inherited all the bad genes from both sides of my family. I inherited a bad heart from my dad's side of the family, a bad thyroid from my mom's side of the family and along with my BP I have issues with migraines, asthma, have had surgery on both knees and will need surgery on my back in the future (something else from my dad's side of the family) Along with that I am allergic to almost all of the narcotic pain meds along with a fair few of the antibiotics and even some antidepressants/antipsychotics. Strangely enough no one in my immediate family has any mental health issues and I have bipolar II. I have one brother who is in perfect health with no medical issues who is a piolet in the Air Force. We joke in my family and say I am the genetic dumping ground for my family. :-)

While I in no means am mad at my family or hate them for passing all of these problems on to me it does get to me sometimes. I am only 23 and I spend more time seeing doctors then I want too. It gets frustrating when I cant meet up with my friends because I have a doctors appointment or I cant do what they are doing because one of my medical conditions has limited me.

So yes, I can relate to where you are coming from. :-)

[missbelle]

There are no perfect genes...it could be so much worse. Perhaps we can count our blessings for the good things we have also inherited

Hugs;
Dee

[Ygrec23]

I think inheriting "bad" genes of one kind or another is the name of the human game. You may think you see lots of people out there for whom everything's fine. WRONG. They're just not telling. Whether it's physical disease tendencies or mental disease tendencies or whatever, it's just all over out there. And I'll tell you, I really don't hold it against those folk who lucked out and do fine. It's not as if they're being snarky about it and deriding the rest of us as losers. Most of those people who put others down for "losership" are sufferers themselves. The REALLY lucky ones keep their mouths shut, kiss their children and their spouses and just don't want to think about how lucky they've been. Makes 'em feel anxious.

My mother's side of the family (which is MOST of my family) I have sixteen cousins. Six of whom (that's a LOT) have been TOTALLY overwhelmed by life, never held a job, had to be supported by their parents (none of whom are rich), and died off as addicts of one kind or another. Way I figure it, there's a gene for what they used to call "neuroticism." (See HANS EYSENCK) That really means they're more subject to anxiety and other stuff like that. And by Jove we've GOT it! Plenty of brains, but that doesn't count if you're too far out of it mentally. And plenty of heart and vascular stuff. Death in the early fifties and all of that.

Lookit, it's what they call "the human condition." In other words, an inheritance of crud. If you let it get you down, you're through. Inheriting that kind of stuff is like inheriting a nose and two ears. IT'S NORMAL. Enjoy what you can in the time you have! ANYTHING AT ALL! The HELL with what all of THEM may say! Have as good a time as you can! As they said in the old song, LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH AND BE HAPPY!!!

[Detach]

Originally Posted by stan0212

They don't really believe that bp can be hereditary, but a character weakness stemming from being unable to cope with stress

Unbelievable....some people are soooo ignorant! You definitely don't need friends like that. A character weakness?...like I said "unbelievable"...I've never heard that one before. I wonder where they get their info., oh I know out of their *ss!

[venusss]

My father had apparently some issues. Was on psychmeds for something... but I think it was rather because his neurotic mother who never learned to handle life did not want to deal with a problem child. He was brilliant as IQ goes. Nuclear physicist. (thinking of which my mom studied on technical high school. She worked in construction planning... and yet these two people spewed a somebody who barely passed maths and physics in High school and now is totally and hopelessly into humanities. Genetics? Nurture? I was never brought up to be impractical and abstract!)

My mom may have some issues too... I think. Or maybe just life worn her down, because she lost too much. She tends to have moodswings and looking at her career (dropped out of economic lyceum to study on technical high school ("it was great! We were four girls in the entire class!"), working on the railroad ("free tickets"), then going onto the social field (worked with youngsters, although in the tech dept.), later construction planning, then working again in social, then in... could be called creative field... a company making traditional gingerbreads. My mom was the artsy one, working on the big things like gingerbread small scale copy of the famous Clock tower... or gingerbread houses done in amazing detail. But she could bend the metal well to make the cookie cutters. Now she works in foster care. Beside this she is licenced aromatherapist, had requlification in accounting, cosmetics, feng-shuei...). Sounds either as a genius... or as somebody extremelly disorganized...

I can see quirks of my parents in me. Not sure if it is all bad genetics and if they had disorders that should be treated... they certainly both struggled in their lifes and were somehow unstable and at times too spontageous...

I am not bitter. I believe it is to a big degree human nature. And yes, my inability to deal with life in more mature way.

There's clearly something wrong with the wiring on my mother's side. Mother has multiple suicide attempts, now in recovery at 65. Unfortunately my brother was successful with his attempt, 14 yrs ago. I think I've been in various states of shock since then, without ever really dealing with the issue properly. Along the way, I've blamed my father for getting involved with someone he knew was "crazy" but I think I only once said it out loud. Now I regret even thinking that. I've always known it was pointless to blame anyone for my ills. I think the only answer is to seize the bull by the horns, listen to people you respect and try to adapt their advice to your own circumstances. Everyone is different.

[Detach]

Originally Posted by gulas

There's clearly something wrong with the wiring on my mother's side. Mother has multiple suicide attempts, now in recovery at 65. Unfortunately my brother was successful with his attempt, 14 yrs ago. I think I've been in various states of shock since then, without ever really dealing with the issue properly. Along the way, I've blamed my father for getting involved with someone he knew was "crazy" but I think I only once said it out loud. Now I regret even thinking that. I've always known it was pointless to blame anyone for my ills. I think the only answer is to seize the bull by the horns, listen to people you respect and try to adapt their advice to your own circumstances. Everyone is different.

Sorry about your brother. I don't "really" blame anyone...genetics are genetics....no way around that.

I seem to be the only family member with serious psychiatric issues, so that's a bit of an enigma, but I can totally relate to the fears about those "bad" genes that can plague a family. I have three older sisters. All three of them have had cancer. One died from leukemia. One is a breast cancer survivor. One had ovarian cancer, colon cancer, breast cancer, and leukemia from which she finally died. Our family has actually been studied by M.D. Andersen Cancer Center because of the familial tendency for cancer (it actually extends into cousins, grandparents, etc.) Genetic testing shows that my sister's cancer issues were the result of a genetic mutation (amazing scientific stuff). So yes, I feel a bit under the gun. Doctors take EVERYTHING very seriously with me and that can be nerve-wracking.

But I can't be angry or bitter about genetics. It is what it is. There is absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop it if it is going to happen. I guess my sister was such a positive example in dealing with all of her various cancers. She was such a pillar of strength and faith even through her suffering. We just have to deal with whatever life hands us to the best of our abilities. It does no good to place blame or play the "it's unfair" game.

[Detach]

WOW.... I'm so sorry to hear of the strong cancer family hx and the death of your sister. My bro-in-law died of leukemia and it was very difficult....horrible really.

As far as your psych family hx, it's possible it skipped a generation. Perhaps a great grandparent?.... but like you said...it is was it is, so I guess it doesn't matter.