[Secretum]

Throughout my life I'd had periods where I felt not just disconnected, but completely out of step with those around me. When I talk, people act like what I say is meaningless. I feel as if I can't think of anything good enough to say to others. On rare occasions, they even look at me like I'm speaking a foreign language they can't understand. I used to sing in a choir, and when this happened, I felt like I my voice was always "off" from the rest of my section. It's like I just can't resonate with other people.

Can anyone relate? I think that it usually occurs during depression, though I've had isolated incidents (one person not understanding what I'm talking about, once, while I was hypo) that happened outside of a low mood.

Originally Posted by Secretum

Throughout my life I'd had periods where I felt not just disconnected, but completely out of step with those around me.

Secretum, I feel this way all the time.
Also, when hypo, not isolated incidents, but constantly having people not knowing what I'm on about. (Hell, not my problem they can't keep up! )

[Charlie_J]

Absolutely! One of my favourite things to say is: "They just don't live on the same planet as me."

Especially lately, where we're trying to fight this big battle with An Organisation, and I'm depressed, I've become sure that notions like justice, humanity, compassion and respect don't apply to me for some reason.

Then on the flip side, when I'm up, I have so many ideas even friends don't have a clue what I'm on about.

[Secretum]

I've become sure that notions like justice, humanity, compassion and respect don't apply to me for some reason.

Though to me it feels separate from the misalignment I mentioned, I definitely can related to that. I expect people to reject me, to think cruel things about me, to treat me harshly. One question on a depression test I've taken measured how much one "expects to be punished". I think that what you've mentioned is what that question is really getting at. When we get low, we expect people to punish us simply for existing. If this has happened multiple times, the expectation for cruel treatment outlives the depressive symptoms and occurs all the time.