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#1
Oct 22, 2011, 08:43 AM
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My co-worker/friend died from cancer this week. Her wake is on Sunday and her funeral is on Monday. My problem is this- I go back to work Monday also and I'm already stressed about that. I've been off work for 2 months due to a recent episode. I would not go to the funeral, because it's on Mon. while at work (even though I hear some people from my work are going). My dilemma is whether or not to go to the wake on Sunday. I really don't want to...however I'm feeling guilty.
What would you do???
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#2
Oct 22, 2011, 08:48 AM
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You do what you have to do for yourself. Not going to the wake doesn't mean you grieve any less. Last year a former student of mine committed suicide. I struggled with the decision as to whether I should attend the funeral or not. In the end, I knew it would be too triggering for me to go. My gut told me to stay away and grieve privately. It was a good decision. Trust your gut.
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#3
Oct 22, 2011, 09:05 AM
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I myself do not go to wakes, it is a trigger for me and is too unmanageable. Would your friend want you to go if it will cause you so much angst? I don't think so. If anyone asks say I choose to grieve privately.
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#4
Oct 22, 2011, 10:35 AM
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Yeah, I'm afraid of the triggering affect, so guilt or not I don't think I'm going.
Thanks
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#5
Oct 22, 2011, 12:01 PM
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Maybe you could send a card to her family. That's what I do sometimes when I don't think I could handle the wake or funeral.
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#6
Oct 22, 2011, 12:09 PM
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I agree with what the others have said, You have to do what you feel is best for you, I would find the wake triggering too.
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#7
Oct 22, 2011, 12:48 PM
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Ditto from all above. Me personally, I could not go.
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#8
Oct 22, 2011, 02:29 PM
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I also agree. Trust your gut with this. And it does not mean you don't greive, or care, or any such thing. I choose not to attend my own fathers funeral as it would have been far to triggering for me. He was also bipolar 1 and died to suicide/ complicated. I was still dealing with my dx and episodes that were pretty bad. Not to mention other emotions. No one thought anything bad of me not coming. I also agree your friend would not want to cause you more pain or suffering either.
Last edited by Anonymous32507; Oct 22, 2011 at 03:13 PM. |
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#9
Oct 22, 2011, 03:06 PM
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I always go to the Wakes because I want to be supportive to the family members.
It goes quite quickly and is over with fast so I don't get bothered by them to much.
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 When life keeps knocking you down again and again, get up, dust yourself off, give it the finger and continue on. |
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