[AniManiac]

I finally had my first appointment today with a new therapist. He seems OK, it was just the usual getting-to-know-your-symptoms stuff. But he's concerned about the meds I'm on, since it's antidepressants only. It's the first time anyone has taken the mismatch of meds to apparent symptoms seriously, so I hope it means this guy is reasonably decent. It's also the first time that I've gone to therapy on my own with the expectation that it will last awhile and I'm actually going to have to work on stuff. I guess that's good, but it really doesn't feel good.

No surprise, I was referred to another pdoc to get a full evaluation and rx management. So now I'm waiting by the phone for a return call from the one recommended pdoc that takes my insurance. Here we go again...

The thing that got me was the dx code that went on my paperwork today: bipolar II disorder. It's the first time that's gone on my records - previously it was "unspecified episodic mood disorder." I keep telling myself that I can try to believe it's something else until a pdoc gives me a formal dx. But the part of me that knows better is trying really hard not to cry.

[roads]

Awww ... I'm so sorry!

I spent a lot of years in academia, & I can understand your concern. You seem like an eyes-front gal, tho. If this is it, it is. Some outright lunatics in ivory towers, as you well know--bipolarII may be too tame for some departments!

Sorry, hope I got a teenie smile there.

I wish it hadn't gone that way for you. My dx just popped up & got me without warning, over & done with, but I know you were worried. I guess it's harder when you have time to think about it.

s & good thoughts going out to you...

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

Awww ... I'm so sorry!

I spent a lot of years in academia, & I can understand your concern. You seem like an eyes-front gal, tho. If this is it, it is. Some outright lunatics in ivory towers, as you well know--bipolarII may be too tame for some departments!

Sorry, hope I got a teenie smile there.

I wish it hadn't gone that way for you. My dx just popped up & got me without warning, over & done with, but I know you were worried. I guess it's harder when you have time to think about it.

s & good thoughts going out to you...

Yeah, the ivory tower is actually a psych ward!

Definitely got a smile, and it's part of what's keeping my hopes up, because the recurring suggestion that I should try something "less stressful" is just not acceptable, at least until I completely fail at Plan A.

I think it will be some small comfort to get an official dx instead of this uncertainty. Then I can try to move on to the "what it is, it is" stage, instead of the "please somebody tell me this is all just in my imagination" phase. It's hard to be patient; it would be nice to just have some answers. But that's not how these things work...

[roads]

I can see making adjustments maybe to the plan--the how & such--but this dx need not affect the goal. If I'd known my problem & had some help managing it, things would have been easier I would hope.

As it was, all those antidepressants alone basically did nothing. Maybe made things worse on occasion. Otherwise, I've had a terrific life. Did what I wanted pretty much. Got what I wanted. Wasn't ever easy, but never impossible.

Hope the T & new pdoc prove worthy of you!

[AniManiac]

I was kinda freaking out about this for awhile yesterday, but have had time to calm down a little.

I called the new pdoc for an intake appointment - it'll be with an LPN. Which should be fine.

I feel like all of this is spiraling out of my control really fast, after almost a year of screwing around trying to get something to work out and making no progress. Suddenly there's all these additional appointments, more people I have to talk to about stuff that scares me, and a clear expectation that I'll try some new psychotropic drugs. Egad.

Well, it will all work out somehow.