[onlymedid]

I sent my boss an email that said I was leaving using FMLA today at 1:15. He emailed me back asking if it was for an appointment or because I wasn't feeling well. I told him Both....appt because I am not feeling well.

Then I got angry because it's none of his dang business why I need FMLA. He isn't supposed to ask me.
It made me cry and I feel so stupid for crying over this.
I am so sad now and feel like I shouldn't be taking FMLA even though I have it for a reason.

Now my day is all effed up because of him. I was doing "ok" for most of the day and now I am dropping down fast.

[roads]

The fact that your boss can't keep his nose out of your business is his problem.

I am so sorry it made you cry & sad & angry.

Try hard to just let go of him & his problem and use that energy for your own healing. You're precious, bosses are just bosses.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

The fact that your boss can't keep his nose out of your business is his problem.

I am so sorry it made you cry & sad & angry.

Try hard to just let go of him & his problem and use that energy for your own healing. You're precious, bosses are just bosses.

Thanks, I will try. I know I shouldn't let his issues effect me, but it's so hard sometimes.

[onlymedid]

Now he's giving me funky looks. He and I used to be close, until I got on FMLA. Now he is a jerk. I'm trying not to let him get to me, but it's really hard.

[roads]

Bosses giving employees funky looks at work isn't professional. Strike 2!
You're in control, onlymedid. you've done nothing wrong.

[nacht]

His problem, not yours. You did what you had to do, the best way you could. If he has a problem with that, he can give you funky looks all day long and it doesn't change that it's his problem.

[onlymedid]

Thanks you guys. Sometimes I just need reassurance that it isn't my fault and he can't do anything to me!!!

[roads]

You got it.

[manicminer]

I openly told my boss and my co-workers that I have bp. The environment here is that of a team. We all have each others' backs because our department often gets singled out as making the mistakes even though we are the means of supply to keep the mine running.

My boss now frequently asks me to his office and checks up on me. Just last week he asked if I was getting enough sleep or not (he is also a firefighter/EMT in training).
My other co-workers now understand I'm not just a weirdo or a spazz and look out for me. My day guy always asks if I'm takin my meds and I even told him which meds to give me in the case I have a freak-out or breakdown while at work.

So maybe your boss really truely cares for your health and well being and is just confused and curious as to what is really wrong?

Just another way to look at things. Best wishes and good luck

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by manicminer

I openly told my boss and my co-workers that I have bp. The environment here is that of a team. We all have each others' backs because our department often gets singled out as making the mistakes even though we are the means of supply to keep the mine running.

My boss now frequently asks me to his office and checks up on me. Just last week he asked if I was getting enough sleep or not (he is also a firefighter/EMT in training).
My other co-workers now understand I'm not just a weirdo or a spazz and look out for me. My day guy always asks if I'm takin my meds and I even told him which meds to give me in the case I have a freak-out or breakdown while at work.

So maybe your boss really truely cares for your health and well being and is just confused and curious as to what is really wrong?

Just another way to look at things. Best wishes and good luck

Well, that is definitely a way to look at things. Thanks!

[lad007]

Try to look at it from the bosses point of view, they are looking at the bottom line, having the work covered. Also, did you give your boss enough advance notice that you had an appointment? If you dropped it on them at the last minute maybe he/she got flustered. Bosses are human too.
Don't take it personally, I tell my boss in advance, I have an appt on this day and time, she says ok. But she doesn't want me to leave if I am having a bad day, because my work won't get done. She cares if the work gets done, not that I have bipolar, etc.
I would ask how much advance notice the boss would like for appts, and if there is anything else he/she would like you to do when you have to be away-before you go.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by lad007

Try to look at it from the bosses point of view, they are looking at the bottom line, having the work covered. Also, did you give your boss enough advance notice that you had an appointment? If you dropped it on them at the last minute maybe he/she got flustered. Bosses are human too.
Don't take it personally, I tell my boss in advance, I have an appt on this day and time, she says ok. But she doesn't want me to leave if I am having a bad day, because my work won't get done. She cares if the work gets done, not that I have bipolar, etc.
I would ask how much advance notice the boss would like for appts, and if there is anything else he/she would like you to do when you have to be away-before you go.

Yeah, you are right. I know they have to look at the work being covered.
I told him the same day because I only made my appt that same day and I was only missing 1 hour of work, not the whole day or anything. My backup person was here and I made sure that all my work was done for the day.
I'll try not to take it personally. He does have 3 of us on a team of 14 that have FMLA and one of them was not here yesterday.
I try to give him ample notice, but sometimes it is just not possible.

[roads]

All of the "bottom-line" discussion being valid, the fact remains that the boss had no business asking why onlymedid was taking that hour of FMLA time. Whether the day's work would be done? Fair enough. But asking for the reason was clearly an invasion of privacy & had nothing to do with bottom lines or anything else "business."

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

All of the "bottom-line" discussion being valid, the fact remains that the boss had no business asking why onlymedid was taking that hour of FMLA time. Whether the day's work would be done? Fair enough. But asking for the reason was clearly an invasion of privacy & had nothing to do with bottom lines or anything else "business."

Yes, that is very true, too. He shouldn't have even asked me what I was doing.

[lad007]

Well maybe he shouldn't have asked, but from a self preservation point of view, and if you want to keep your job, you have to keep the boss happy. And also I am a little confused, FMLA is usually only for extended periods of time after all sick and vacation has been used up, not for an hour or two here or there.

[Sheba976]

I've noticed that when I am really depressed or having a hard time, I always assume the worst from others and "personalize" everything. Your boss just may be really worried about you and does not know or is afraid to talk to you about it... Especially since you had said that the two of you used to be close. To say that he suddenly is a jerk since going on FMLA may just be an assumption. I know because I am guilty of doing this like this all the time.

[espritlibre]

Obviously I don't know your boss so don't want to assume either way, but is it possible he simply asked without thinking, out of concern for your wellbeing - and it didn't occur to him that actually it's not his business? As you didn't mention him making a big deal out of you actually going so maybe he literally just wondered? I am the same as Sheba, I can get paranoid and assume the worst but sometimes it is just a misunderstanding. I hope that's the case with your boss!

[Beezup2]

I went thru the whole work vs. bp gamut before I was ultimately "laid off". Throughout FMLA, I leaned on the FACTS that is a law that gives me the right to medically miss work and protects me in my illness. When things got too stressful or out of line with supervisors, coworkers, etc. wondering why I was gone so much, I went to HR and let them know specifically what was going on. And they did back me up (for awhile).

I chose not to disclose because of the rat's nest I worked in. No matter, I am happier unemployed having plenty of time working on my issues. That attitude took about two years!

You gotta do what you gotta do.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by lad007

Well maybe he shouldn't have asked, but from a self preservation point of view, and if you want to keep your job, you have to keep the boss happy. And also I am a little confused, FMLA is usually only for extended periods of time after all sick and vacation has been used up, not for an hour or two here or there.

No, FMLA can be used for anything pertaining to the illness, whether it's going to the docs or taking the whole day off.