[Moose72]

I feel sometimes like I can't finish anything. If I look for examples, I find that I DO finish things. But things that are big that require lots of little things finished I don't seem to be able to. I tried writing a book. I went back to school. (Even though I had been to school before bp and did just fine.) I take pictures and finish working on those. But jobs I seem to quit or my bp eats me alive so my brain simply cannot function. I tried memorizing anatomy in school a few years ago and it was like water off a duck's back. Is this a BP or a BP meds thing or is it just me!? This sucks. I want to finish my degree but I'd have to slough through a ton of tuition to pay off to go back. I have a brown belt in judo, yet I got that before bp/meds. I am back doing judo again and learning again so it isn't as if I haven't accomplished a thing, but still. Its slow-going.

[alwaysrejoice]

Curious to see answers to this I have the same problem.

[BNLsMOM]

It is so frustrating. I feel like I have never finished anything I have ever started. I don't know if it a bp thing, but it might be. Getting my diagnosis explianed a lot of the things that I tried and abandoned.

[Moose72]

Anybody got a guess as to if its the BP or the meds?

[nacht]

I have this same problem. I submitted a proposal to a publisher this past weekend and I'm actually scared they'll accept it, because that means I have to write it and I don't know if I have the energy to follow through. I have so many unfinished projects it's just kind of sad.

I tend to think it's the BP myself. Certainly my ability to handle a given workload at any point seems cyclical.

[Moose72]

does that mean we're stuck llike this?!

[alwaysrejoice]

Ya you should see my craft room, all half done projects lol

[Moose72]

i got pix done today. let me add one

[Moose72]

Kids in Costumes.jpg

my kids - 14, 12, 10
you ca click it to make it bigger.
i took this yesterday

[Secretum]

I had this my entire life, and I've only recently gone on meds. I think (though I haven't been formally dx-ed; been suggested as a possibility by a few MH professionals) that I also have ADHD, which may explain part of it.

I've noticed, however, that it has gotten worse over the past few years that I've grappled with bp. And each worsening seems to co-occur with a depression.

So, I'd say that bipolar can cause difficulties with getting things done, but who knows? The meds probably contribute, because the world we live in is just that beautiful and generous to us. Sorry for the sarcasm; not in the best mood right now.

[Moose72]

ok I don't know that I have adhd. I do know that I tend to think of so many things at once that I sometimes go off on a tangent one-too-many and can't get back to the original topic. I think my meds make me forget words or ideas. I have to describe words sometimes. and sometimes there is just a great big hole where there should have been words, sentances, ideas.... I say weird things. For example, I wanted to tell the kids to go down the hill but instead I said go down to the basement. It wasn't just mixing up phrases- it was mixing up ideas.

[nacht]

Yep. I'll be talking to my boyfriend and just stop midsentence because I totally forgot the word I was going to say, or I'll say a word that was completely different than the one I intended. It's embarrassing, especially when he teases me or gets concerned about it.

(Your kids look adorable, btw!)

[roads]

My experience is much that of Secretum's. I was dx'd just about 3 yrs ago but have probably battled bipolar disorder most of my adult life. Might even go back to my dx of clinical depression at age 8.

Either way, I've been increasingly unable to finish pretty much anything for the past decade or so. Really acute the past five yrs. No meds tho till three or so yrs ago.

They sure haven't helped with energy or motivation, tho. In fact, the only thing the drugs have helped with is leveling mood. I haven't tipped into hypomania since being on them, & I don't cry at TV commercials or drippy movies. Depressions are worse than pre-meds tho. Could do without that.

[Secretum]

Uggh. And how much research is being done?! How much do our doctors-let alone the average person on the street-care about developing better treatments for bipolar disorder? Having low energy and motivation is largely what causes people to seek treatment! And as for the depression...for many of us, that is the worst phase of our illness. Effective treatment will not lead to more of it. Effective treatment would prevent it, and free us from the lingering effects of it.

We should start a fund raising organization-PCBP for the cure. It's not really life if you don't feel alive.

[Phoenix_1]

I had a large rubbermaid craft box full of 1/2 finished stuff that I'd cart around every time I moved from house to house. I had another with a 1/2 finished winter parka that I was making for my boyfriend 10 years ago. (we broke up in 2005). My ex got rid of the boxes for me. Now I know better than to start craft projects, and my arthritis makes it easy. Even when manic, the arthritis in my hands still hurts.

[Trippin2.0]

I've always struggled with this, even as a child. The only thing I finished successfully was school, and even that I tried quitting a few times. Wasted money on tuition i lost interest in, changed jobs like underwear, and now i find myself thinking motherhood is too hard. So for me its not med related. Glad i'm not alone, tho it sucks seeing my friends battle the same demons...

[nacht]

I completed my college degree! Took me ten years and three false starts but I did it.

I'm glad I finished when I did though. Motivation isn't all I've lost; my memory retention has gotten worse rather than better over time. I used to have a mind like a steel trap and now it's more like a sieve. Then again, I spend a lot of time depressed so if I want to get things done, I have to push through the fatigue and apathy to do it. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

[Confusedinomicon]

I like to start projects but not end them, too. :\ It is a pity.

[Charlie_J]

I have this problem too, and I've been bp for the last 17 years, only just started taking meds. I've ended up with enough "hobbies" for twenty people. I think that when I'm "well" I can turn my hand to anything and be great at it, but having the wherewithall to see things through is impossible. I think I'd rather be good at one or two things and be able to finish them.

The one thing that sticks with me sometimes even into depression is writing, and yet the internet is littered with unfinished stories of mine. :/

Originally Posted by Secretum

... because the world we live in is just that beautiful and generous to us...

Seconded. If my mother "popped off" I could cope with the grief. I could arrange a funeral. In a simpler world, I could physically dig a grave and bury her. I'm a strong person. But deal with what the world will throw my way? *laughs* Yeah, right...

[venusss]

People, I dunno. There is term in language learning courses "falser beginner". I doubt all these people who start learning languages and stop are bipolar.

How many people dropped out of school when pregant or get a career gig, saying they will finish and never do?

How many people change few jobs, drop out of few schools before finding what is right for them?

Let me tell you... quite a lot.

Normal people do this too. I think we sometimes like to blame our BP (or put them in context of the "illness").

I guess it is partly condition of human being trapped in other things to do.

(and yeah, I never got my Prague guide licence although I paid bloody money for the course... and I doubt I ever will now).

[nacht]

Oh, it's very possible that it could be confirmation bias, and you make a very good point, Venus. There are plenty of people who are not bipolar that start and never finish projects; my mother is one of them. I remember as a child that she was always working on a romance novel she had on the back burner all the time and over the years she gradually lost interest in it.

On the other hand- nothing kills motivation like feeling tired and listless all the time, or just taking on more than you can reasonably handle. The habit of starting half a dozen things and then losing interest in them tends to fluctuate with my mood cycles, especially noticeable since I haven't been back on medication very long. If anything, after having started a mood stabilizer I have more days where I have the energy to do what needs doing (though sadly that is not the case right now, anxiety is pretty bad currently) so I am actually more productive overall, even with constant low-level depression.

It may not be a cause per se, but I do think it factors into things greatly for me, if that makes sense.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by Charlie_J

I have this problem too, and I've been bp for the last 17 years, only just started taking meds. I've ended up with enough "hobbies" for twenty people. I think that when I'm "well" I can turn my hand to anything and be great at it, but having the wherewithall to see things through is impossible. I think I'd rather be good at one or two things and be able to finish them.

Ha! This is exactly like me! I was actually good at everything I tried - moderately, that is. But no great shakes, which kinda irked me. Eventually I decided to specialize on two things (knitting and photography) to get better at them. It worked!

Then I made a rule that I can only have one active knitting project at a time. This definitely helps me get things done. By the time I'm bored with one project, I really really want to start the next one, but I don't let myself do it until project #1 is completed.

I'm extremely strict with myself about finishing what I start because I find it so incredibly distressing to be chronically unable to finish things. So to the casual observer, it looks as though I have no problems with finishing things, but the truth is, it's a huge amount of work to finish anything and a constant struggle to maintain my "rules" and keep from taking on more stuff that I shouldn't be doing.

But I've noticed lately (along with a bunch of other frequently recurring hypomanic symptoms) that I'm starting more projects, and picking up more hobbies lately, which I'm taking as a warning sign.

So lately, I keep having to say, "No, Self, you do not need to do any more geocaching - just get that travel bug to a proper cache and be done with it! No, Self, you do not have time to start an Etsy store to sell off all the handmade jewelry and knitted stuff that you want to purge from the house. No, Self, you do not have time to do anything but work on your dissertation!"

Thanks so much for this - I thought it was just me being a dilettante as usual.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by nacht

Oh, it's very possible that it could be confirmation bias, and you make a very good point, Venus. There are plenty of people who are not bipolar that start and never finish projects; my mother is one of them. I remember as a child that she was always working on a romance novel she had on the back burner all the time and over the years she gradually lost interest in it.

On the other hand- nothing kills motivation like feeling tired and listless all the time, or just taking on more than you can reasonably handle. The habit of starting half a dozen things and then losing interest in them tends to fluctuate with my mood cycles, especially noticeable since I haven't been back on medication very long. If anything, after having started a mood stabilizer I have more days where I have the energy to do what needs doing (though sadly that is not the case right now, anxiety is pretty bad currently) so I am actually more productive overall, even with constant low-level depression.

It may not be a cause per se, but I do think it factors into things greatly for me, if that makes sense.

what I was trying to say we need to address our problems with not finishing stuff on individual basis. It is not always us being bipolar...

[nacht]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

what I was trying to say we need to address our problems with not finishing stuff on individual basis. It is not always us being bipolar...

I get what you're trying to say, no worries. It's something I've been trying to work on for ages.

[Moose72]

I went to school and started the ball rolling to finish my degree. I'm scared outta my mind but happy.