[sillyfab]

I called into work Friday and was off the weekend. I called into work again yesterday, only I didn't tell my hubby b/c I didn't want to freak him out. I went out just as if I was going to work and ended up driving 1.5 hours to my hometown and 1.5 hours back home in order to give him time to get to work.

I'm very depressed. Have been for a week or so and I'm isolating now. I'm forcing myself to go to work today, but it doesn't feel right. I don't want to go in. I'm exhausted. I have only slept 3 hours a night for the past week. Yesterday, I had a few suicidal thoughts, but was able to push them out.

I know I'm Bipolar, though not diagnosed yet. I was on antidepressants for three years and exhibited several manic episodes of wild home business opportunity spending sprees during that time.

I just had to intro myself and lay it all out there. I'll probably cry a couple of times at work today and maybe even get written up for the call-ins. I have another job opportunity on the way, though - I finish the application process for a home-health agency this week.

[BlackPup]

Welcome to PC I hope you find great support here.
I am sorry that you are struggling at the moment. I hope that things improve really soon.
Keep on posting to let us know how you are going.
and

[lad007]

I know for me when I don't sleep things get pretty bad quickly. So what can you do to start getting your rest? Can you go to the doctor and discuss this? Exercise and a warm bath usually help me out. There are some non prescription things you can try also like Valerian, Melatonin, or Hyland's homepathic insomnia at the health food store and yoga.
One of my jobs is with home health and it's a pretty low stress job, so I wish you luck with that, and I really enjoy the clients.

Hello sillyfab, welcome to PC. I hope you benefit from your time spent here.

[~Christina]

Welcome Sillyfab..

Im sorry your having such a rough time of it right now.
I hope that things lighten up for you soon.
Hopefully you will find support here and tons of information to help you cope

Wishing you Love and Peace~

[sillyfab]

Thanks all, for the warm welcome. I'm less severe today. I admitted to my partner (via text) that I had those horrid feelings of "might as well be dead," going on. He wondered why I hadn't told him, but to be honest, it hasn't been that long since they started. He promises to be there for me, and says that all I need to do is tell him when/what I need from him. He's so awesome to me - always has been.

I've been numb, midly elevated and low (but less severely low) today, all three. The only reason I was mildly elevated was b/c I got to leave work at 2! LOL

Things will get better. I've got supportive friends, my partner, and I'm working on getting in to see my doc.

[AniManiac]

Sounds like you've got a good perspective on things right now, sillyfab; I hope things improve for you soon! Welcome to PC - I have only been here for a little while myself but everyone is very friendly and helpful. At the risk of sounding terribly cheesy, it helps to have fellow sufferers supporting you on this journey.

[sillyfab]

Originally Posted by AniManiac

At the risk of sounding terribly cheesy, it helps to have fellow sufferers supporting you on this journey.

That wasn't cheesy - it was UBERcheesy!

Sometimes I get ubercheesy on purpose, esp. when I'm elevated/euphoric/manic/hypomanic.

Boss sent me home @ 9:30 a.m. today saying that even she wants me to get into the doc. I think it's b/c she caught me crying on break this morning, and then we had a little talk. I've been working on getting into the doc, but so far, I've just been on hold for 10 minutes at a time, twice.