[vanessaG]

I hate my rollercoasters ride of a life. Currently I have been down a week now and it's bad- like so down can't get out of bed. A couple days ago some of you were helping me figure out if I should go to hospital or not.

Well I'm not having as much Sui idea. But I'm still. Very depressed. I feel so bad I have no energy
I look like ****...sweats, baggy shirt no makeup-just run down.
My kids are basically raising themselves. I can barely muster the energy to open a can of soup and boil it :/
Oh & my house...wow you don't even want to see what my house looks like.

I want to get out of this damn hole. When I'm good or up or whatever it is house is immaculate, I'm exercising, scrubbing baseboards lol.

I was crying on my bed earlier saying out loud please god take my pain away...how pathetic is that.

I'm taking all my damn meds, I'm seeing pdoc once wk and t doc 2x wk (started 3 mo ago). WHYyyyyyy am I not getting any better???? I'm actually getting worse!!!!

I'm exhausted of all this. Even to sit up and write this is a huge friggen struggle. I hate this

[RapidFlyer]

What I can tell you is you are not alone. ((((((((((((((VanessaG)))))))))))))))))

I am struggling with my meds, with ups, downs, constant changes and never knowing from one contact to the next what med I'll be on or how much.

I'm totally cut off from people to people contact because of what the meds are doing to me. I can't safely drive. (though I had to as I ran out of food so I went 6 miles to the store. 1st time out in a week)

I started off good and am getting seemingly worse as time goes by rather than better. I have no clue why.

I am hanging in there. Will you please hang in there with me?

[brypowers]

Here's my post to Becca, Hope it helps:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=212602

[roads]

vanessaG, I went thru nearly a year of steadily-worsening depression & constant med changes. As we got to the end of all remaining possibilities, one of the changes clicked--and immediately I began to get better.

It's a month later now & I am fine. Life is good. I can't believe how good. I'm furious when I think how close to ending things I came, & grateful that I didn't.

For what it's worth....

[brypowers]

I hear ya there, long term solution to a short term prob not a good idea...