[HopeLost]

Hi I am new here. After who knows how many years of intermittent mild depressions and a constant nagging anxiety it got to be too much this year & I finally asked for help. I have never been this depressed before. They came up w/ BP 2. I was put on Tegretol and the depression continued to get worse. We tried zoloft and my moods got crazy. Depressed throughout but crying and strong emotions and anxiety. Zoloft was stopped and tegretol increased. Now I feel crappy from the meds and the depression and anxiety are unrelenting. My insurance only allows me to see a therapist monthly so they suggested I try IOP since my work is also being severely affected by my symptoms. Christmas was extremely difficult to get through. I am incredibly lonely, hiding in my house on time off and can't remember how it felt to do all of the things that I used to love. Everything feels so dark and hopeless. I want my life back. I am lucky to have a couple of very supportive friends, but I am sad because the little bit I have revealed to my mom has been badly received. She just thinks I am "having a hard time" and need to suck it up.... I feel like it will never get better. Has anyone here had a good experience in an IOP ? Any advice on how to survive this? Thanks.

hi and welcome to PC. I'm sorry that you are suffering with depression.I have been there many times. I was diagnosed with BP II after yrs. of depression. Generally a mood stabilizer is necessary & prescribed along with an anti-dep. or anti-psychotic. As far as I know, neither of the drugs you are taking are mood stabilizers. An anti-dep. alone can cause serious problems for someone with BP.
Sorry, I do not know what IOP stands for. This is a great website to find support. Also, there is a lot of helpful info about drugs and various mental health conditions.

[BlackPup]

Welcome to PC!!!!!
Sorry that you are really struggling at the moment.
There are lots of drugs that are out there, personally I didn't like Tegretol but it works for some people. If its not helping you then maybe you need to try something different. As roxiesmom says, people with BP generally need a mood stabliser like lithium, lamotrigine, epilium etc. Who is prescribing your meds? Are you seeing a pdoc?

I'm not sure what IOP is either. Please keep on posting and I'll try to get back to you if I can help

[HopeLost]

Yeah the meds are a mess. Tegretol is a mood stabilizer, but I'm not sure if it's helping my depression. Mostly it makes me sleeeepy. IOP is intensive outpatient program. I am learning as I go. I hope that turns out to be a good thing and I hope it will help somehow.

[dragonfly2]

As mood stabilizers go, Tegretol is one of the older ones, but there are newer and (IMO) better ones available. But your doctor knows your full history and there may be reasons for not putting you on a different one. My daughter was on Trileptal for a while (second generation Tegretol) and it didn't really do much for her. I have had good results with Lamictal (same class of drug as Tegretol) and it has been shown to really help with bipolar depression, so maybe that's an option? The Tegretol may not be enough to oppose an antidepressant and you may need something stronger like Depakote (valproic acid) or an antipsychotic.

As for IOP, I have had good luck with them. They are called "partial hospitalizations" here where I am. I have actually found some of them more helpful than inpatient, when I've been safe enough to be outpatient. You typically get more groups per day than inpatient, and they are generally more involved than the inpatient groups I have had. And the nice thing is that you get to go home afterwards and practice what you have learned in the context of your normal stressors rather than the protected environment of the hospital.

As for your mother, she may not be a good support for you now. Now might not be the time to try to educate her, at least not until you're feeling better. Lean on the supports you know have been beneficial, and definitely come here! We may not be right there with you, but it's a good place to find people who understand, especially at 10:00 at night when your other supports might be unavailable.

Hang in there - you'll get through this.

[HopeLost]

Thank you. I have my intensive outpatient intake today. I am nervous, & definitely grateful for the support of friends. I hope good will come from this . & Yes , I have a Pdoc, & a therapist. It's al new to me...it feels like I'm living a double life at times :-(

[JustWannaDisappear]

Let us know how it goes. My therapist has suggested IOP but my pdoc hasn't actually diagnosed me with anything other than severe depression & anxiety. My T thinks I am BP2 and she knows me much better than my pdoc.

Also, I am on Lamictal 200mg. It has definitely helped. I am no longer putting my kids in front of the tv for hours so I can sleep all day.

[bpdruins]

From my own personal experiences use antipsychotics as a last resort. mood stabiliziers shoiuld be the first line of treatment. Antipsychotics can mess you up more than they help you. I'm not responding well to Depakote but it has no side effects and might work for you.

[tutitaylor]

I agree with the previous posts that a mood stabilizer helped me a lot. I take a combination of meds and together I function really well. I am very drug compliant and I think that it helped me a lot. I am wondering if you need to search out a new pdoc. Just something I wanted to throw out for thought.

[HopeLost]

Thanks you guys. I survived day 1 of Iop..also more med changes. Talked to new Pdoc @ program but have to follow up with yet another one tomorrow , gotta love the holidays. Not sure if they are even sure of what is causing all of this. I'm glad of the break from work but also feel guilty that this happened & so alone. Thankful that my friend drug me out of the house a little this weekend. I just want to stay in the house in the dark:-(