Been wondering bout a few things

How do you tell the difference between your meds numbing your reactions and meds working? Please think about that before attempting to answer, when I thought my meds were working, it was merely my responses that were numbed...

And working meds, what is that? What do they DO?

From my personal medicated experience, I found that meds made me less reactionary, good when you have rage issues, but what about everyday experiences? Do they also just float by?

I still cycled, that never stopped, and the only reason some of them were less intense was the numbing i mentioned above... So obviously, meds don't stop the cycling... What ARE they supposed to do? And who here can attest to them working NOT numbing, working.

I've been umedicated now, for 3months, and besides the fact that the numbness is gone, I honestly see no difference in myself. I'm not worse OR better off, so that exercise proved futile...

Also, I wonder what percentage of a roll the placebo effect has on patients. Just as positive thinking helps some people and practicing the law of attraction... Which could also work in reverse I guess, people going around thinking they're ill all the time, must spend a good percentage of their time, ill...
Agh. Idk, just aimless musings I guess... Answers MOST welcome, further musings? Well, they're welcome too

Hmm... This is a tough question!

Well, the main thing to me is that my moods are less extreme and not so distressing. In general (situational stuff aside) that also means I'm less anxious on the overall. But I'm not emotionally "flat" or numbed either, it just seems like moods are more appropriate reactions to events. Sure, there are still mood fluctuations, but they're not disruptive in the same way - I can still function despite my moods, and overall I'm more functional than I could imagine was possible. I literally didn't realize it was possible to be alert in the morning, for example.

I'm still waiting for the part where you don't get random mood swings, but I have high hopes that it'll happen when I get to the right level on Lamictal.

As far as placebo effects go, I don't think that's the case for me. The main reason is improvements in cognitive function (which has been gradual) and other little things, some of which I had no idea were related to bipolar. Retrospectively I have seen comments from others and learned more that actually does support my impressions that those symptoms are from bipolar. I doubt a placebo effect is possible when the improvements are unrelated to your expectations of the meds, but I may be wrong on that.

A recent study showed that the placebo effect with antidepressants was equal to the effect of antidepressants, which suggests that a lot of people on those meds don't actually need them per se. I consider the law of attraction a bit of an overstatement, but I do agree that positive/negative thinking can have a substantial effect on health. There has been research substantiating that as well.

I think when you are on meds, in objectivelly situation and you don't feel too bad and don't really react.... that is bad.

Paulina Porizkova reported she was feel "good" on ther ADs until her friend told her wtf is up with her that she would argue about such situation before and now she does not stand up for herself. I guess this is a case where "loved ones" report person is doing "so well" on meds, because they are not trouble anymore. It is not always a good thing though.

Sadly this is hard to tell, because if the person is experiencing it, they cannot really tell and others may not be a good judge either always.

So if your husband cheats on you and you lose your job, when things are working you don't want to kill yourself over that or don't go "I'ma gonna move to Tahiti and work in tourist industry" manic craziness. "whatever, I don't care" reaction however means something is terribly wrong.

My experience varied between I'm hurt, deeply sad, but can't express it or didn't really FEEL it (like it was happening to someone else) to who gives a crap. In like the space of an hour or 2...

When I noticed this happening more often than not, I didn't recognize myself any longer...

Guess I'm too comfortable with my extremes, my passionate volatile nature. It is part of who and what I have come to recognize in the mirror, it's all I've ever known (ask anybody who knows me, as a child,adolescent and or adult) So the alternative was unsettling, to say the least.

I felt more numb and zombi-fied when I was depressed and not on meds, than I do now that I'm on meds again. I can feel things now, and feel more alive.

Hypomania for me was not 100% pleasurable anyway - great to have all the energy and be so productive, but I was also irritable and restless and it all felt very unreal and like I was being dragged along by some weird force, compelled to keep moving and doing. So that's something I can pass up too.

So yeah, meds work for me. In terms of the placebo effect, I'm inclined to agree with AniManiac. I didn't have any expectations of my meds - especially in view of the fact that I considered the same med had not worked for me in the past. But I have experienced benefits which surprised me.

I like your passionate extremes, Trippin. I like how insightful you are and what you notice about yourself and your thoughts. That's the basis for mindfulness, just noticing whats happening in your head, heart, etc.

And then, if you start to feel a mood going to an extreme and taking over, you can slow it down a bit by observing. This is something I try to do when I'm really angry about to go into rage, I do these deep breaths and try to notice things in my body, like if i'm gritting my teeth or is my heart pounding or blood boiling etc. And I think about how it's going to pass, because it always does, I eventually always do calm down at some point.

Same thing when I get so down that I think nothing will ever be ok... I talk to my body and say/think I don't know what to do with these horrible feelings, I don't want these in me. I don't really know how to process the depression, but somehow I wait it out, even if it's days, and my body processes it out of me.

I know I should exercise daily, like some type of cardio to break a sweat. And I know I need to eat some fruit and veggies everyday, sometimes I forget to eat. And I also need to force myself to sleep regular hours somehow. Not sure yet how I'm going to get to that healthy balanced spot with exercise, food, sleep; but I know it's key to living well - for anyone bipolar or not.

But I'm thinking a lot about those things, about what sort of life I really want to live. I'm 38 but still feel like a kid in so many ways - like when I grow up, I'm going to go back to college. There is much in this life I still want to experience. Sometimes I jokingly say I age in reverse, because I was so serious when I was younger, got married had kids at age 20. But now I just grow more playful and wild and spontaneous, not wanting to hold back, not wanting to miss anything... So which is the wiser?

I do have a goal of being off meds. I don't like to be dependant on things like that, because what if at some point I wouldnt be able to get my medicine for some reason. And I've experienced that too - like having panic attacks and no meds. I want to be ready for whatever might happen in the world. But I'm a work in progress, so for now I am still taking some meds.